(Going off on a sidetrack here but I ran upon a Vietnamese dub of this show (at least I think it was Vietnamese) and it had a much better opening song, albeit it sounded a bit like MacArthur's Park but at least it wasn't two friggin' minutes long.)
After a very poor and not very thorough check of things, Zhou Yu and his army casually amble into the supposedly abandoned city of Nanjun. Maybe if they had been more methodical in their preliminary search they would have noticed all them dudes hiding up in the rafters. Almost when it's too late does Zhou Yu mark that it's quiet, too quiet, and that they've all walked into a trap. He orders his men to just as casually retreat.
That's when the hidden archers expose themselves and launch their fire arrows into the highly flammable courtyard below. Zhou Yu's men try to fight back, killing the same stunt man over and over. In the midst of the confusion Zhou Yu himself is wounded by an arrow to the side. As his faithful men surround him and try to get their leader away, a previously hidden cavalry now come riding in to chop down what's left of Zhou Yu's forces. It's a brutal slaughter and as usual I'm more worried about the horses.
Zhou Yu is gotten away and treated for his wound but the doctor fears the arrow was laced with a very strong poison. He orders Zhou Yu to not lose his temper for 100 days in order to heal. (Oh, he be doomed then.) Feeling victorious and full of themselves, Cao Ren and his men constantly make noise outside of Zhou Yu's camp in order to provoke him into fighting. Naturally it doesn't take much to get Zhou Yu's dander and he drags himself out of his sick bed to face the squat little general.
Cao Ren knows just what buttons to push to get Zhou Yu all up in arms. Unfortunately just as Zhou Yu draws his sword he spits out blood and falls from his horse. But this is just a ploy and Zhou Yu whispers to his generals to wail and cry like he's really dead. Cao Ren totally falls for it and orders his men to attack.
When Baby Bouncer and Big Fan get the news about Zhou Yu's "death," Zhuge Liang easily figures out what Zhou Yu is up to. (Cuz he's Zhuge Liang after all.) He recommends to Liu Bei that this would be the time for them to run around and take Nanjun while everyone else it out trying to kill each other. Liu Bei has an attack of conscience. It wouldn't be a very nice thing to take the city out from underneath Zhou Yu's nose after he's fought so hard for it. Zhuge Liang is like, "Fuck nice, take the city!" Baby Bouncer feigns a headache and gives Zhuge Liang complete control over all military decisions (so Liu Bei can be guilt-free as he had nothing to do with anything. It was all Zhuge Liang.)
Night falls as Cao Ren and his army attack what they discover is a practically empty camp. Zhou Yu is watching all this from afar as now that he's lured Cao Ren out of Nanjun it is time for him and his army to take the city. Only by the time they get to the city gates it is to find Zhao Yun is already occupying the place. Realizing Zhuge Liang has once again out-maneuvered him, Zhou Yu has another internal rage attack and spits up copious amounts of blood.
Back at Xuchang, Cao Cao gets the news about losing Nanjun. Instead of punishing Cao Ren for his failure, Cao Cao holds the general up as an example, pointing out all Cao Ren did and almost did with so few men to fight with. Furthermore, Jing province wasn't all that important to him so it's no big loss. Let Sun Quan and Liu Bei fight over it like dogs over a bone. To emphasize this point, Cao Cao barks.
Sun Quan is pissed that Liu Bei has taken Jing over but he realizes for them to fight will just weaken them both and allow Cao Cao to waltz right in. Therefore Sun Quan takes the high road and shrugs his shoulders over the loss. Lady Wu, the only woman to be seen for miles in this show for some time, makes an appearance but doesn't get any lines.
No comments:
Post a Comment