I Need Romance 2012 Episode 3

Yeol Mae wakes up alone in Seok Hyun's bed. There's a movie he really wants to see and he's left her ass behind without even a "Thank you." There's no need to be rude with casual sex. But at least she's gotten her some so hopefully she'll calm down.

Naturally Yeol Mae must discuss this with her girls, because what's the fun of sex if you don't talk about it with people who weren't there? This discussion leads to Ji Hee and her man troubles. Her boyfriend, the one who doesn't satisfy her in bed, has put up a mirror in her bedroom, and I don't mean on the wall. She's totally not into it. The girls try to get her to speak up but she resists. After all, in everything else in their relationship he allows her to take the lead. Ji Hee feels it's only fair to let him have his way in bed.

Seok Hyun is back from the movies and Yeol Mae wants to talk about what exactly is their relationship. She blurts out they should just be sex partners, even going so far as to make a schedule of how many times they have sex and in whose bed. Seok Hyun doesn't think he has the stamina for her schedule (I don't know if any man does) so they work out silly code for when they want some. If she's horny, she'll put out some high heeled shoes. If he needs some hot lovin', he'll put together these two cat figurines so they're kissing. Further ground rules are created with the main one being this is just about sex so neither one should get jealous if the other one dates someone else. You know this will come back to bite them in the butt.

This calls for an emergency meeting of the girls. The topic becomes "My First Time." Ji Hee felt ashamed afterwards. Yeol Mae felt a little bit sad. Jae Kyung felt it was nothing special, just sex. Speaking of ashamed, Ji Hee's boyfriend has sent her a present, some sexy underwear, that she's too embarrassed to wear. What if she died while wearing them, and her mother had to come identify her corpse and saw what her daughter was wearing?! Ya gotta think about these things.

Ji Hee and her boyfriend (his name is Ho Joo but I'm going to call him Asswipe) have a nice little date at some kind of amusement park. She's waiting for the right moment to tell him the underwear is a no go. They find a quiet bench to sit down on and she's about to say something when another man sits down on a nearby bench. In a moment, though, the stranger puts in some earbuds so she thinks it's safe to talk. But before Ji Hee can get started, Asswipe opens his mouth and proves why he is an asswipe, talking about why he's such an okay guy to even think about marrying her even though she's just a lowly employee with no money or connections. Then Asswipe starts complaining about her and how she's not improved her orgasms even after they've slept together 10 times. Earbuds Guy can totally hear them but pretends he's listening to music.

Finally, finally!, Ji Hee has had enough. She stomps over to Earbuds Guy, grabs his soda out of his hand and throws the can at Asswipe. Ji Hee storms off. Asswipe storms after her. Earbuds Guy sits there for a moment in shock when unexpectedly someone dressed as a bear comes over to hug and comfort him. (For some reason this random detail has brought tears to my eyes I'm laughing so hard. But really, don't we all have times when we need a bear to come hug us?)

At the bus stop Asswipe attempts to smooth things over and at least get Ji Hee to get on the same bus with him, but she's not in the mood. Asswipe takes this bus, and as Ji Hee stands at the stop waiting for the next bus, Earbuds Guy joins her. (No sign of the bear.) Shyly, Ji Hee hands him another can of Coke to replace the one she threw at Asswipe. Oh yes, let the true romance begin!

Ji Hee gets on the next bus but Earbuds Guy just stands there. Suddenly he starts running after the bus. As we all know, buses in kdramaland go really slow so people can run and catch them. Earbuds Guy pounds on Ji Hee's window and tells her through the glass not to waste her tears on that jerk (agree), the problem is his (agree), and to be strong (agree). The bus driver gets tired of this nonsense and drives on as Earbuds Guy keeps screaming "Fighting! Fighting!"

I miss the bear already.

Yeol Mae is in the studio with Korean Prince (Hit them high notes, castrato!) when she gets a phone call from a record store owner. An LP she's been wanting has finally come in. She races to the store only to run into Ji Hoon who has beaten her to the punch and bought this rare record. Yeol Mae follows him, trying to sweet talk Ji Hoon out of the record by offering to take him out to eat. He chooses an expensive restaurant and the most expensive meal on the menu. They get to talking about the album, which is a soundtrack to an old movie. Ji Hoon reveals he has another album by the same music director and invites Yeol Mae over to his place to check the album out. She's totally impressed with his rare record collection. Ji Hoon still isn't giving up the LP but he offers to let her come over and listen to it whenever she needs to.

At home she's talking about Ji Hoon with Seok Hyun when there's a visitor at the gate. A woman, Kang Na Hyun, has come to see him. She's unhappy he's taken a story she wrote and reworked it into something else to make it more commercial for movies. The two argue, ending with Seon Hyun threatening to call the police on Na Hyun. This makes Yeol Mae (who was totally listening in) rush in and hurry the crying girl away. Seon Hyun yells at Yeol Mae for butting in and he goes to lock himself in his bedroom to have a right royal pout.

Gah, yet another flashback (so tired of this storytelling technique) of how they broke up the second time.

After a couple of days of pouting, Seon Hyun is back to normal. They go to a greenhouse to ooh and ahh and have cute moments. Driving back home they spot a really odd looking hotel. Isn't this where they did the deed the first time? They're not sure so they stop and investigate. It is such an odd hotel, with no clerk or anything. You just scan your credit card, punch which themed room you want, and a key card is automatically distributed. Once they get up to the room they decide that no, this isn't the place they thought it was. But hey, why let a perfectly good bed go to waste, right?

After some afternoon delight, our couple go to catch the elevator down. This is where they run into a couple coming up. Yeol Mae is shocked to see her girl, Jae Kyung. And she's with Jeong Min! Wait, who? Did I miss something? Am I supposed to know who Jeong Min is? Wait a minute, that's not the gay guy from the shoe store, is it? Damnit, now I'll have to go back to check.



Office Girls Episode 8

This episode sponsored by Playboy.

Shen Xing Ren rides up to the gate on her little scooter just as Qin Zi Qi and Feng Ren Yue are about to go in. They explain to Xing Ren how they just now bumped into each other as Feng is coming to see the CEO and Zi Qi claims he's here to see his cousin, the driver. What's she doing here? Xing Ren explains how she wants to present the PB proposal straight to CEO Qin. Feng reminds her there are proper steps to go through and the young woman shouldn't be going past her superiors to go straight for the boss. Zi Qi immediately jumps to Xing Ren's defense, saying she's come all this way out to the house, the CEO should at least give her a chance to hear what she has to say.

Right then the driver comes down the driveway, calling Zi Qi "Young master." Zi Qi grabs the man and says let's go clean the "young master's" cars. They must keep their sports cars in a room right off of the living room, because Zi Qi can easily eavesdrop while he's windexing the Lamborghini. CEO Qin also chastises Xing Ren for going against company policy and bypassing upper management. If she really wants him to read her proposal she should have sent it through the proper channels. Zi Qi once again jumps in and pulls his dad aside under the pretext of showing the CEO how clean his cars are now.

While Zi Qi is in one room trying to convince his father to give Xing Ren a chance, as well as passing along Kai Er's flashdrive of ideas, Xing Ren is letting Feng read the proposal. Our heroine also does a bit of butt kissing by telling Ren Yue how much she admires the CEO and wants to learn from him. Naturally Dad overhears this so when he comes into the room his tune has changed. He'll read the proposal.

Back at the apartment building, Zi Qi is trying to talk the ever frugal Xing Ren into going to a night market with him to pick something up for dinner. But before they can leave, here comes Yu Cheng Feng. He comes with the great news that the CEO personally called him and asked him to set up the PB counter in the department store. Cheng Feng wants to take everyone out for dinner. Xing Ren refuses, reminding him he paid for dinner last time (at the French restaurant), it's her turn to treat him. Only she has no groceries and a limited budget. Cheng Feng insists on taking her and Le Le out to dinner tomorrow night. Zi Qi is not invited.

The store gets to work setting up PB's counter. Watching nearby, Kai Er starts calling other store suppliers with counters and she stirs up trouble. The next day some irate businessmen, complaining about PB getting a primo spot and negatively impacting their own sales, threaten to withdraw and cancel their contracts with Jingshi. CEO Qin sees the mess but doesn't interfere. He wants to see how his management handles things.

Yu Cheng Feng hears all the shouting and he's the one to step up and calm everyone down. In the end he gets the other suppliers to agree to stay. The CEO is impressed and arranges for a private meeting with the designer.

Just about everyone in the cast gets a notice to come to staff training. On the basketball court (because what department store doesn't have a basketball court?) CEO Qin announces that he's reorganizing the staff so there will be no more rivalry between the sales department and the merchants department. Now everyone will be mushed together in a new special team and tada! the leader will be Cheng Feng.

Zi Qi is really not happy about having Cheng Feng for a boss. Kai Er invites him out for drinks and they consume an awful lot of alcohol. She manages to get a drunk Zi Qi back to his apartment. While he stumbles into the bathroom, Kai Er pretends to pass out on his couch. He attempts to be a gentleman about it, making her more comfortable and covering her up with a sheet. He leans in for a stolen kiss and he's almost there... almost... when he has a flashback to Xing Ren which stops him cold. He lurches off to his bedroom.

Kai Er opens her eyes, frustrated that he didn't move in for the kill. She knows it has something to do with Xing Ren so the gold digger comes up with an idea. She takes off her dress and puts on one of Zi Qi's dress shirts (which Xing Ren herself just laundered). She goes upstairs to the girls' apartment, waking them up and asking if they have any aspirin she can give to a drunk Zi Qi. Both girls have their jaws hanging open. (Oh Kai Er, if only you were a two dimensional character, then I would bother to hate you. But you're just there, so I don't.)

The next day at the team meeting, Zi Qi just thinks Xing Ren is mad at him for being hung over. Cheng Feng announces he's splitting them into two teams to compete on increasing sales at the store. Zi Qi is put on the same team as Kai Er, while Xing Ren and Le Le get stuck with Shi Te Long (who is hilarious this episode.)



The Chaser Episode 2

Hot damn, we've got another one. It only took a MONTH to get Episode 2 subbed.

We see Baek Hong Suk at the sight of the traffic accident, but we hear Hye Na speaking as she assures her boss, Gang Dong Yun, that the street has been repaved so the detective won't be able to find any tire marks. Hong Suk notices a surveillance camera nearby, yet when he goes to investigate he's told by a rather blase cop how their police station was hacked and the all the files deleted. The only hard evidence they have are the tire marks left on Su Jeon's school uniform.

Hong Suk, squad leader Hwang, and partner Detective Jo pay a visit to her first ex-husband. He's apparently an expert in tires while a failure at women. He is able to find a match to the tire marks. They come from a very expensive line of tires. Only around 300 have been sold domestically, so it shouldn't be hard to make a list of the buyers.

Dong Yun is having lunch with a Representative Kim, trying to get the man's support in the upcoming election. However, Kim is a Representative Yu Tae Jin man - Dong Yun's rival - and advises our villain to just give up now. Before Rep. Kim can leave, the two men are joined by a Supreme Court judge, played by That Old Man Who Is In Absolutely Everything (see: Lights And Shadows). Dong Yun reminds His Honor that he's in charge of the pending case against Rep. Kim for election violations. It would be a shame if Kim were barred from elections for ten years. That would just kill Kim's political career, wouldn't it? Tsk, tsk.

Before the media, Representative Kim makes the stuttering announcement that he and his party are backing Gang Dong Yun. Out in the hallway of some building (I don't know where they are) Dong Yun is surrounded by the press and pelted with questions when he runs into his old rival, Rep. Yu. Neither one can pass up a photo op and so with fake smiles plastered on the two men genially hug each other. Yu whispers another allegorical story (the show is big on these. Remember Godfather Seo's story about managers and tenants?) into Dong Yun's ear. Yu claims he has a puppy. They've said it was so cute for so long that the puppy grew bold enough to steal the rice bowls off of the table. How should he deal with this? Dong Yun whispers back to give the puppy to him. He'll take it to the Blue House and raise it well. <<Giggle>>

Hong Suk and the gang go to visit the prosecutor in charge of the case. Also in the room is the young female reporter from the first episode, the one who ends up warning Hong Suk, but that's for later. Hong Suk wants a search and seizure warrant but the yawning prosecutor claims he can't help. The judge in charge of issuing warrants today is a real dick. The reporter, who knows about the accident, steps up and offers Hong Suk some assistance.

Turns out this woman, Ji Won, is the youngest daughter of Godfather Seo. She comes home to find Dad is meeting with her brother-in-law, Dong Yun. There is some light chit chat and Dong Yun starts to leave when Ji Won begins telling her father how she's helping out Hong Suk to find the person who ran over his daughter. Godfather and Dong Yun exchange serious looks. (And yes, Godfather music plays.)

Our gang arrive at a building that's closed up for the night. It's an illegal gambling den. Hong Suk goes up to the front door and proceeds to pee all over it. (I am not making this up.) At least this gets the attention of the guy watching all the surveillance cameras. He comes out to demand what's going on. Now that the door is unlocked, Hong Suk head butts the man cold.

They're looking for someone named Yong Shik. He's got a long scar on his face and a lot of money on his desk. He's a minor crime lord who gets the minor crap beat out of him by a father who doesn't have time to waste. In order to get Hong Suk off his back, Yong Shik sends out all of his minions to check out the list of vehicles with the expensive tires.

PK Jun is practicing his dance moves when he gets a call from Seo Ji Su. She's trying to get him to leave the country before Baek Hong Suk can get to him, but Jun refuses to leave because he has a concert coming up. Ji Su and her husband have to settle for having Jun grabbed right after the concert ends and physically put on a plane to L.A.

Back at the gambling den, Det. Jo is disillusioned to learn her squad leader has been taking bribes from Scarface. That's how they knew about Yong Shik. Surprisingly, Hong Suk sees nothing wrong in it. The police are barely paid enough to get by, let alone make a better life for their kids, so why not take bribes and dirty money? Just then Yong Shik hears from one of his men. The car has been found.

Inside of the car is a dashboard camera. The thugs break the car window and retrieve the camera, bringing it back to the gambling den. Up in Yong Shik's office, Jo hooks the camera up to a lap top so they can review the video. At the same time down in the parking lot a fleet of cars come screeching in. Police raid! (Arranged behind the scenes by Hye Na.)

Everybody gets beat up. Money is flying everywhere. Windows are broken because who doesn't enjoy breaking windows? Hong Suk has just finished seeing the part where PK Jun ran over and ran over his daughter when some cops burst into the office. Despite proclaiming they're fellow police officers, our gang is put in cuffs and hauled away. The dashboard camera that was left behind is delivered to Dong Yun, who's been reading the Steve Jobs book.

Down at the station Hong Suk declares he's never taken a bribe in his twenty year career. (But didn't you just a scene ago say it was okay for a policeman to take a bribe?) The other cop doesn't believe him. Why were they all at an illegal gambling den if not to pick up their bribes? Squad leader Hwang takes one for the team. He confesses he was there to get his bribe money. Hong Suk and Jo knew he was dirty and they had come to the den to arrest Hwang when these cops raided. This gets Hong Suk and Jo released.

They race to the concert arena but are unable to get through the throng of screaming girls. Jun is in his dressing room with a backup dancer he's blackmailing into some luv when someone storms in. It's not the cops, though. It's Gorgeous Man come to take the singer away. They narrowly avoid Hong Suk. Back at their own police station, our pair (no longer a gang) try to track the singer's cell phone signal, but he's turned his phone off.

PK Jun missed the planned 2 a.m. flight and has to wait for the 4 a.m. flight. While everyone's waiting, Jun attempts to work out a better deal for himself. He wants to negotiate with Dong Yun personally. Against Hye Na's wishes (I keep mentally pronouncing it hyena) Dong Yun goes to the hotel room where they've got the singer stashed. Just before he enters the room, Jun turns his phone. It's just the tracking signal the police have been waiting for.

The two men get down to business. Dong Yun (very generously, IMO) offers an entire office building to Jun if the young man will never ever talk about the accident again. Is that not enough? How about a factory? Jun says he doesn't need all that and he's got a plane to catch. Curious, Dong Yun asks if Jun truly trusts his word. Jun says what he does trust is his phone. See, the reason he turned it on was so he could secretly videotape their entire conversation. As long as Dong Yun protects Jun, then Jun will protect Dong Yun. Otherwise, this video file will be made public.

Suddenly Hong Suk is at the door, banging and yelling for PK Jun. There's no way out of the room. Dong Yun tells the singer to allow himself to be caught for now. The older man will think of something. Jun reminds Dong Yun that if he goes down, the other goes down. The politician hides in a closet as Detective Jo comes running up with a master key and our pair gain access to the room. Hong Suk does what any father of a murdered daughter would do and beats the living daylights out of Jun. Jo manages to pull her partner off long enough for her to slap the handcuffs on Jun. As they're pulling the singer out, he pleads for them to bring his cell phone with them. (I can't tell if they do stop for the cell phone or not.)

Fittingly, Hong Suk doesn't take Jun to the police station at first. He takes him to the funeral home, making Jun kneel in front of the casket of his victim.

And now another wait of four weeks commences...

Three Kingdoms Episode 24

Cao Cao presents Red Hare to Guan Yu. And really, why not? After all, Lu Bu is dead. Somebody might as well ride Red Hare Who Isn't Red And Isn't A Hare. Guan Yu is just tickled pink. But then, he's always had a ruddy complexion. He's more red hare than Red Hare. Longbeard profusely thanks Cao Cao for the horse that can run a thousand miles in a day. This way, whenever Guan Yu learns the whereabouts of Liu Bei, it won't take him any time at all to ride off and join his brother. Cao Cao doesn't say it but you can tell this isn't what he wanted to hear.

Guan Yu takes the horse for a ride so he isn't around when Cao Cao is hit with another one of his headaches and collapses to the ground. His (jealous) generals beg for their leader to order the death of Guan Yu, otherwise Longbeard will become a formidable enemy in the future. Cao Cao is barely conscious, his head bobbing, which the generals take as a nod to the order to kill Guan Yu. They start to ride off. Thank goodness Zhang Liao has a cooler head. He makes Cao Cao come to his senses and order the generals back.

Meanwhile, Liu Bei is missing his brothers and invisible wives when Xu You comes to visit. Both men express frustration with their lord, Yuan Shao. It's been nearly six months and he still hasn't done much of anything concerning Cao Cao. The men decide to work together to pressure Yuan to shit or get off the pot. But just when they get the old man to decide to move out, another advisor, Tian Feng, convinces Yuan Shao to stay put. What a wishy washy lord this Yuan is.

Liu Bei goes on a walk with Yuan Shao and manages to undo the damage Tian Feng did, so the war is back on. Not only that, but to the glee of Xu You, that wimp Tian Feng is demoted to stable hand.

Cao Cao marches out with his army. Guan Yu pleads to join him but the prime minister sends him back home to rest. However, the war isn't going in his favor and in the end Cao Cao summons Guan Yu to come to him.

CGI armies face off on the battlefield (and here my video feed ain't worth crap tonight) as Guan Yu has his heroic entrance. He rides forward alone to face off with the opposing general. Without even breaking a sweat, Longbeard has the guy down with one swipe of his halberd.

Yuan Shao is riding along in his big ass Cadillac of a war chariot (I thought Cao Cao had the only big ass Cadillac of a war chariot) when a messenger arrives to tell everyone about the death of the general. Thus Liu Bei learns his beloved brother is alive and in cahoots with his greatest enemy. Yuan Shao, because he's stupid, orders Liu Bei to be executed thinking he was working with Cao Cao all along. Liu Bei manages to talk his way out of parting with his head. Yuan Shao, because he's stupid, instead has poor Tian Feng (whom I'm starting to feel sorry for) beaten nearly to death and sentenced to be burned at the stake at a later date.

Oh good, my video feed straightens itself out just in time for some battle action. Guan Yu rides out on the field for more fancy slicing and dicing. Watching from a hill, Liu Bei, who had been hoping this had all been a case of mistaken identity, sees for himself that it is Guan Yu and he's on Cao Cao's side. Yuan Shao and his men are forced to retreat.

Yuan Shao's back to wanting to execute Liu Bei. Liu Bei is back to talking his way out of it long enough to try and convince Guan Yu to come join the other side. He sends a secret letter to his brother. Tearfully happy to learn Liu Bei is alive, Guan Yu plans to leave the next day with Liu Bei's wives because he's naive enough to believe that Cao Cao will simply let him go.

Notice how no one seems to be too concerned about that loudmouth, Zhang Fei?

I Need Romance 2012 Episode 2

Yeol Mae asks Ji Hoon if they dated in the past. Did they kiss? Did he come to her apartment? Ji Hoon lets her stew a bit before he assures her that no, they haven't dated and they haven't kissed. He remembered her from a coffee making class. Koreans sure do love their coffee. Or should I say "coppee."

It's all starting to come back to Yeol Mae now. She laughs and tries to start up a conversation only to have Ji Hoon remind her of Sweaty Guy, her date who is still sitting at the table waiting for her to return.

The next day Yeol Mae comes to another one of Ji Hoon's classes. He stands behind her, his hand on hers as he shows her how to correctly pour the hot water. This is giving Yeol Mae the willy nillies - the good kind. Ji Hoon asks how her date with Sweaty Guy went. He sympathizes with the poor man, having his date show up late and keep talking to another guy. Yeol Mae wipes her upper lip, unknowingly giving herself a coffee grounds mustache.

In walk a gang of youths ordering coffee. These are members of a band Yeol Mae is working with in the studio. She had just ordered them not to eat anything and here they are eating Popsicles and ordering coffee. She yells at them and chases them out of the coffee shop. The glass door has already closed behind her, so when she turns around to go back inside she smacks face first into the glass. Of course Ji Hoon witnesses all this. He finally tells her about the stuff on her upper lip. He holds up a dish towel and Yeol Mae closes her eyes, waiting for him to touch her. Ji Hoon tells her to clean up her own mess.

Just so we don't get too attached to Ji Hoon, we go to a scene with Yeol Mae and Seon Hyun watching a baseball game. Their man hits a home run and impulsively Seon Hyun hugs and kisses her. Yeol Mae chastises him for such behavior. They're just friends now. Seon Hyun starts turning up the heat, asking how can he be "just friends" with such a sexy woman as he gently caresses her face. Yeol Mae rips his ball shirt open and a game of tonsil hockey breaks out.

Ah, it's just a wet dream! Damn show.

This calls for some girl talk. Jae Kyung (the Samantha) recommends Yeol Mae (Carrie) just go ahead and sleep with Seon Hyun, get it out of her system. The Sex in the City trio discuss their different ways of handling men. We get to see a bit more of Ji Hee's character (the Charlotte of the group) as she is playing the innocent homemaker card. Too bad she can't cook.

And too bad my computer crashes!! But I'm back...

Yeol Mae is making dinner when "friend" Seon Hyun takes it upon himself to pull her hair back and put it in a pony tail. This gives her the heebie jeebies - the good kind. This woman seriously needs to get laid. Casually she asks him if he would like to sleep in her room tonight. He wonders why wouldn't he want to sleep in his own room? Surely he's just playing with her.

He goes to the refrigerator to get something out for dinner and finds the chilled box of condoms. Seon Hyun demands to know why she needs these things. Yeol Mae argues back that it's his fault for introducing her to the world of birth control in the first place. (Really?) This forces us to endure yet another flashback of happier times of getting laid and using Playboy condoms.

Back to the present as our couple can't agree on where and when their first time together was. A depressed Ji Hee drops by. She just gave some to her boyfriend (it wasn't good for her but he did a little dance) and then he just left. Men. Seol Hyun can't even enjoy a beer without Yeol Mae getting turned on by his jugging. He then learns that women can fake orgasms. This guy is in his thirties and he's just now finding this out? Yeol Mae emphatically states she never faked with him, even giving him a thumbs up.

There's a quick addition of Jae Kyung and her newscaster husband Jang Woo. He's giving her a massage and offering to draw her a bath, but there's nothing sexual there at all.

Yeol Mae is getting hornier and hornier. She comes home calling for Seon Hyun. Perhaps she's going to scratch that itch once and for all. But wait, she hears something from his side of the duplex. The sound of a woman moaning. And where are Yeol Mae's frozen condoms?! How dare he take her condoms to use on someone else! She's about to bust in when Seon Hyun emerges from the bathroom after having a shower. Yeol Mae (after being turned on by the smell of his soap) demands to know who is in his room. He opens the door to reveal the stereo is playing that classic 22 orgasms hit, Love To Love You Baby. The condoms he moved to a drawer because it was gross to have them in there with the food.

Yeol Mae is riding with Jae Kyung to a restaurant where they'll meet Ji Hee. After parking her car, Jae Kyung recognizes another car in the lot. She quickly sends a text message to... her husband, who is inside the restaurant snuggling up with another woman. (This kills my theory that he was gay and the marriage a cover-up.) The text was to warn him about Ji Hee being inside the restaurant but it's too late, she's seen them.

Ji Hee runs out and quickly suggests to the girls to go to another place. Jae Kyung, who knows what Ji Hee knows, pretends not to know and is all for going to another place. Yeol Mae, however, is immediately suspicious and barges back in. Perhaps she thinks Seon Hyun is in there. She does find Jang Woo who, by this time, is sitting across from the woman and introduces her as his cousin.

They all go back to Yeol Mae's place. She and Ji Hee think they have to console Jae Kyung only to learn that she's alright with it. Jang Woo has his women, she has her men. She's just sticking with him until the launch of her designer shoe line.

After their company leaves, Yeol Mae and Seon Hyun drink wine, listen to music and dance silly dances. He pulls her in close and asks if she would like to sleep in his room.

Finally. I hope she does get laid. This is the horniest woman I've ever seen on Korean TV.

I Need Romance 2012 Episode 1

It begins in an intimate club. A random white guy on stage plays his guitar and sings a mellow song that really isn't all that bad. Joo Yeol Mae (played by Jung Yumi) is having drinks with Yoon Seok Hyun (played by Lee Jin Wook) and talking about rabbits. This has me a little bit worried. Girl, you don't talk about rabbits when you're on a date with a hot guy. But wait! Somehow, all this rabbit talk segues into some hot and potent hand flirting. (Note to self: talk about rabbits on next date.) Seok Hyun suggests they go for some coffee to sober up. Yeol Mae has a better idea.

The better idea being taking him back to her apartment. They stumble around a bit; kissing, undressing each other, talking about famine in Africa, etc. She insists on unbuckling his pants as this is her favorite part. I'm like, "Damn, Korea!"

But then...

But then...

It turns out to be nothing but a visualization of a script Seok Hyun had written.

I'm like, "Damn, Korea!"

Yeol Mae is unhappy at him revealing so much of their private lives, like how she enjoys unbuttoning his pants. Also, as the musical director, she's unhappy with his choice of music for the scene. Just then her grandmother calls. The old woman has set Yeol Mae up on another blind date. Yeol Mae and Seok Hyun must be just casual daters as he doesn't seem very upset when she rushes off to meet this other man. (A fact Yeol Mae notices herself.) She and Seok Hyun have grown up together and have been friends more than anything. Friends with benefits. At one time she had wanted to get married, but he saw no reason to mess up a good thing. So now she's going full throttle into this matchmaking service. Perhaps her biological clock is ticking, eh?

Yeol Mae thinks about her other girl friends, like Sun Jae Kyung and Woo Ji Hee, and how easy it was for them to meet boyfriends. Surely if she just keeps the faith she'll finally meet somebody. Then the matchmaker sets Yeol Mae down at the table with Kim Han Sup, played by Jung Gyu Woon. Girlfriend, your luck has changed! Talk about rabbits!  Yeol Mae is all bright and sparkly as she discusses her career and sips on her drink. But then he suddenly gets serious and asks, "Don't you remember me?"

Cut to Yeol Mae telling her girls that it turns out she had dated Han Sup for a whole month back when they were in college, yet she doesn't remember a thing about him. Ji Hee replies it is because all Yeol Mae could think about back then was Seok Hyun. Our little Sex in the City trio then start counting up all the people they've kissed over the years. Geez, you're acting like kissing is scandalous.

Jae Kyung gives Yeol Mae a small box of condoms because... well, because it's the set up for a future comedic situation. Right then Seok Hyun, who lives in the duplex next door, walks in and asks for some coffee. Yeol Mae goes to the refrigerator and hides the condoms in there as she's getting the coffee out. As she watches Seok Hyun go through the complicated steps of making coffee, she thinks back to her first ever kiss, which just happened to be with the man standing in front of her right now. She and Seok Hyun end up having a lovers spat even though they aren't supposed to be lovers at the moment.

Yeol Mae thinks to herself how she'd like to have a happy marriage like Jae Kyung has with her Jang Woo, which leads us to a scene where the truth of the marriage is shown. All those happy couple photographs around the house are put away. The big bed is stripped to reveal it is two beds pushed together, which they now separate. Jae Kyung asks why don't they just sleep in different rooms but Jang Woo says it would involve to much work and moving to change it all when they have visitors over. This marriage seems to be a business arrangement and they are just fine with it, but to the world they must appear a loving couple.

Their spat forgotten, Seok Hyun comes to change a light bulb in Yeol Mae's place. Neither seems to own a ladder so they stack chairs on top of each other. As he balances precariously on top of them, Yeol Mae bends down to hold the chairs steady. This puts her on eye level with his stockinged feet (Socks! A Korean man wearing socks!) which causes her to flashback to their first of many breakups. Seriously, Show, I'm already tired of the flashback scenario, and I'm not even done with the first episode.

Yeol Mae has another blind date, but instead of dressing up for this one (well, except for some killer shoes), she just wears her comfortable work clothes she had on at the music studio. As she's going into the restaurant she runs into the matchmaker who is in a hurry out. The matchmaker has something urgent to do so she doesn't have time to introduce the couple. Over her shoulder she calls to Yeol Mae that her date is sitting next to the windows.

There are a couple of men sitting at tables next to windows. Yeol Mae chooses the best looking one and sits down across from him, apologizing for being late because of the traffic. Interestingly, the man says he just came from the studio and the traffic wasn't that bad. He also knows her name, which strengthens her belief that he's her planned blind date. Yet here comes a sweaty guy to claim that he's her date. An embarrassed Yeol Mae moves from the hot guy's table to the sweaty guy's table. Sweaty guy had some pizza earlier and it's not sitting well with him. He's looking for a woman who can cook. Yeol Mae's not listening as she wonders who Hot Guy is. Quite rudely she gets up and goes back to Hot Guy, demanding his name. It's Shin Ji Hoon (played by Kim Ji Suk). She asks how does he know her name and where she works? Ji Hoon replies, "Don't you remember me?"

Oh no, is this another guy she's dated and forgotten? Yeol Mae, you need to get a CAT scan done to find out why you keep forgetting all these good looking men.

Office Girls Episode 7

Now that Xing Ren has her job back, it's time to get to work. She and Zi Qi go to Yu Cheng Feng's palatial estate to discuss business with him. Cheng Feng shows her some of his latest sketches. Zi Qi pouts that they just look like ordinary T-shirts and jeans to him. (I have to agree with him on this. The sketches are rather plain.) The designer explains he was inspired by Xing Ren to start a new line of affordable clothing. (What I'm hearing is, when he thinks of Xing Ren, he thinks of cheap clothes. Think KMart.)

Cheng Feng has agreed to set up his own counter at the Jingshi department store, only it won't be for his international name brand but his new brand, PB. What does PB stand for? Pretty Bad? Poor Bastards? Peanut Butter?

Back at the office Xing Ren seems to be the only one who's excited by this new line. Shi Te Long wants the more well known designer brand, otherwise what's the point in having Cheng Feng in their store? Of course that bitch, Mandy, has to get some jabs in.

It's payday! Zi Qi's very first. From the way this show portrays it, it seems Taiwanese people do most of their banking on ATM type machines. I have yet to see a human bank teller. Anyway, Zi Qi eagerly goes to check on his bank balance. His monthly pay has already been direct deposited: $30,000. If this were U.S. dollars, and I made $30,000 in one month, I'd be shitting myself. But this is the Taiwan dollar, and according to XE at this very moment this equals to about $1,001. If I made $1,000 for a month's work, I'd be shitting myself, but for all the wrong reasons.

Zi Qi is just about to withdraw every cent of his pay out when he flashes back to Xing Ren's frugality and saving in order to achieve her goal. Instead he pulls out a fraction of his paycheck for spending money. He splurges on pizza and fried chicken to take to Xing Ren and Le Le. Tonight dinner is on him.

Xing Ren has gone back to ask Cheng Feng why he wants to use a new brand at the store instead of his already established name brand. Again he claims he's always wanted to have an affordable line of clothing and this looks like a good opportunity for all. Before she leaves, Cheng Feng gives her a parting gift.

Xing Ren is late getting home, which means the food is cold. She explains where she had been, which doesn't sit well with Zi Qi, who is starting to show a little bit of a green eyed monster. Xing Ren finally opens the gift box to find a new dress and accessories in it. The girls ooh and ahh while Zi Qi fumes even more. He leaves in a huff.

The next day at work Zi Qi makes it a point to have lunch with Kai Er. He and Xing Ren glare at each other across the food court. Zi Qi reveals to Kai Er that he agrees with Shi Te Long that if the store can't have Cheng Feng's name brand then there's no use to have his cheap brand. Meanwhile, Le Le mentions to Xing Ren that talk around the water cooler has Zi Qi and Kai Er becoming an item. Now it's Xing Ren's turn to show a little bit of a green eyed monster. Zi Qi asks Kai Er out to the movies. No outdoor rooftop deal this time. He has the money to take her to a real movie.

Zi Qi isn't the only one going out. Cheng Feng takes Xing Ren out to an expensive French restaurant so she can wear her new dress and they can talk business. She's been ordered to convince Cheng Feng to change his mind about what brand to sell in the store. He finally has to confess that he's no longer involved in his own name brand. We Mi Na - his model, muse, girlfriend - is now the CEO of his former line since her father was the boss of it all. This is why he can't bring the big line into Jingshi.

Zi Qi and Kai Er are getting drinks and popcorn. Remember that time Xing Ren caught Zi Qi in his father's car and he told the tale of how the driver is his cousin? Well he's told the same tale to Kai Er. She has some business plans she's been working on for a couple of years and she wonders if Zi Qi's cousin could pass her flash drive on to the CEO. (Even though she probably knows by now the CEO is Zi Qi's father.) Zi Qi takes the flash drive and says he'll do what he can.

After the dinner/after the movie, our couples are walking down the street and run into each other. Zi Qi pulls Xing Ren away and scolds her. She was supposed to have a business meeting with the designer, not a date! Cheng Feng, that white knight, steps in and politely yet firmly urges Zi Qi to apologize to his superior. Zi Qi snaps back that their conversation is none of his business. Ooh, cat fight! Er, dog fight. Er, whatever.

Back at the apartment complex, Zi Qi waves a white flag in a way when he brings Xing Ren some midnight snacks, only they end up fighting all over again. Next day at work she gives Manager Shi her new proposal about the PB line. Shi still doesn't like it. Bitch Mandy again gets her barbs in, but this leads to the best scene when her boss, Shi, shoots back that he was talking to Xing Ren, not her. Or does she have something important and profound to say that would improve their business? No? Then shut up.

Xing Ren suggests taking her proposal to the senior vice president. Manager Shi shakes his head. The SVP doesn't approve anything without the CEO's approval. Then she'll go to the CEO. Shi laughs at this idea. There's no way she would ever get to the CEO. Xing Ren isn't giving up so easily.

Zi Qi is meeting with HR VP (so many letters!) Feng Ren Yue to pay back some of his salary advance. He also tries to get Feng to take Kai Er's flash drive to his dad. Feng refuses and tells Zi Qi to be man enough to take it to his father himself. She goes along with him up to his father's big fancy gate. Just as they're walking inside, Xing Ren rides up on her little scooter. She asks what he's doing here with VP Feng at the CEO's mansion.



Three Kingdoms Episode 23

Liu Bei proceeds to get soused. He's lost his brothers, he's lost his army, he's lost his city, he's even lost his sword. All valid reasons to get drunk. Xu You suggests Liu Bei come join up with his master, Yuan Shao, the only man who really has the resources to take on Cao Cao. Liu Bei agrees to this.

Cao Cao turns his attention now to Guan Yu who is still holed up in Xiapi. He knows Longbeard will fight to the death which is not what he wants. Instead Cao Cao plots to somehow get Guan Yu to join forces with him.

Longbeard receives a message that Liu Bei is trapped on Mount Mangdang. Determined to save his brother, Guan Yu and a few men ride out to the rescue, slicing and dicing their way through Cao Cao's troops. Yet when they get to the mountain there's no sign of Liu Bei. Cao Cao's army moves in to surround Guan Yu on Mangdang where there is no water source.

One of Cao Cao's generals, Wenyuan, is an old friend of Guan Yu's. He is sent up alone to meet with Longbeard. He reports that in Guan Yu's absence, Xiapi has fallen to Cao Cao. Guan Yu knows he's outnumbered and doomed. He announces he plans to charge down the hill and take at least 300 of Cao Cao's men with him into the afterworld. Wenyuan reminds Longbeard about the Oath of the Three Musketeers: if one brother dies, the other brothers will die on the same day. Liu Bei may still be alive, but if Guan Yu gets killed in battle, that will doom Liu Bei. Also, Liu Bei had left Guan Yu in charge of protecting his two wives. If Guan Yu dies, there's no telling what will happen to the women. Lastly, what about the emperor Guan Yu has sworn to uphold?

Wenyuan offers a deal. Guan Yu joins forces with the prime minister for now. That way Longbeard can keep protecting the womenfolk and supporting the emperor. Once they learn of Liu Bei's fate, if he's alive, then Guan Yu can leave and join up with his brother. Guan Yu sees the sense in this and agrees.

Elsewhere in the world we go to two women hanging out in a bamboo forest. Da Qiao plays a zither while Xiao Qiao reads. Sun Ce (remember him? son of Claude Raines?) and Zhou Yu ride by and hear the music, but when they search for the source the girls have already left. The boys decide to stick around and investigate. They eventually learn that Elder Qiao has two daughters who like to hang out in the woods and play music. But the boys don't know who was playing that day. It's a Battle of the Bands as each sister plays for the boys and they try to figure out who was the musician. Just like that, Sun Ce decides he and Zhou Yu should marry these girls. But which one gets which?

Back at Story A, Cao Cao showers Guan Yu with gifts. This makes Longbeard feel indebted to the prime minister, which is exactly what Cao Cao wants. To put the icing on the cake, Cao Cao gifts Guan Yu with...   ending credits. Oh, how thoughtful, Cao Cao.

Lights and Shadows Episode 3

Oh good. The show is being played on Hulu. I can always trust their subtitles won't suddenly go insane.

Plaid demands to know where the real stars of the show are. Sin Jeong Gu assures him they'll be arriving a couple of days later. I still think he's lying but we'll see. Sin goes on to try and talk Plaid into investing his money into live shows, not movies. Once bitten twice shy, Plaid at first refuses to be taken in by another con. Unfortunately it appears he's waffling.

Jeong Hye and her friend practice their opening number and they're awful, just as I knew they would be. For the first time Jeong Hye learns the reason she was hired was because of Plaid. Everyone now thinks he's her sugar daddy. Her friend points out Plaid does have some money, so why not wear the shoe if it fits.

Senator Jang hears about Plaid giving show passes to the opposition party. He's tells Soo Hyuk and Traitor Jo to shut the show down. The two men go to the river (because Koreans in dramas always go to the river) to discuss how they're going to do it.

Jeong Hye and her friend go to visit the orphanage they came from. They bring food and money. The head mistress reminds Jeong Hye of the song she used to sing when she was a little girl. It's called "Broken Promises" and it's hella depressing. Five will get you ten she'll end up singing it in the big show. Yang Tae Seong is also visiting the orphanage. He wants to come see her perform but Jeong Hye warns him to stay out of town because Plaid is still looking for him.

This is the Surf Music episode.

Manager Sin is visited by the local muscle. He's used to this sort of thing and hands the gang an envelope of protection money. They take it, but they also take Sin away. Plaid and Pal investigate and learn this particular muscle is from out of town. Just when they're wondering where to find the manager, Plaid gets a call from Tae Seong of all people. He's heard from his underground contacts where Manager Sin is. Does this mean Tae Seong is trying to go straight?

Manager Sin is tied to a chair and smacked around a bit. He asks who is behind all this. He's never been here before. Turns out its Traitor Jo calling the shots from his jeep. He drives away and just happens to pass Plaid and Pal, who are coming to the rescue. Plaid recognizes Traitor Jo but has yet to add two plus two.

Plaid and a couple of backups strut into the abandoned warehouse where Sin is being held prisoner by a gang of toughs. Another well-choreographed action scene follows. I ain't complaining. It's good to be entertained. This drama should have been called Lights and Shadows and Fist Fights. Shin is rescued and they race off into the night.

Soo Hyuk goes to a restaurant to meet up with Plaid's young sister, Tang Girl, as Mary Hopkin sings about those days my friend. (I thought this was set in the Seventies. Why is there so much Sixties music?) Tang Girl lays out right up front: she wants to marry him. Soo Hyuk turns her down.

Plaid figures it was Senator Jang behind the abduction but has no concrete proof.

Manager Sin finally comes clean and lets Plaid know the big star names they were expecting aren't going to show up. Plaid isn't happy but Manager Sin offers instead some up and coming star talent as a substitute. At least these performers show up. Oh, look who else is getting out of the car - it's Leisure Suit Larry, No Sang Taek. He and Plaid glare at each other, giving us another less than stellar cliffhanger. Really, Show, you're just not getting it.



Ghost Mama Sousasen Episode 1

It's a beautiful morning in Japan. Young Uehara Tonbo waves goodbye to his father, Kohei, and heads off to school. Soon after he's joined by his bespectacled mother, Choko, who is dressed in her police officer uniform. They amble along, discussing how the first grader's day is going to go. Older sister Aoi dashes by, complaining she's going to be late. Everything looks perfectly normal (except for those two guys in the background wearing gawd-awful plaid pants.) But all is not as it seems, for you see

Mom is dead. She's dead! Ah, it's the zombie apocalypse! We were warned! Why didn't we listen?!? Ahhhhhhhhh!!!

But seriously, she's dead.

Flashback to three months earlier. It's Tonbo's first day of school and as a special treat Choko serves hamburgers for breakfast. The school has a great big opening ceremony with flowers and everything. (My school didn't have any kind of ceremony to welcome first graders. Mom just dropped me off and forgot about me. And I didn't get any hamburgers for breakfast, either! I feel bitter now.) The teacher does a roll call of her students, but when she gets to Tonbo the other cruel little kids laugh at his name. Choko jumps to her feet and yells out Tonbo's name. Everybody turns to look at her as she tells her son to answer the teacher with pride and volume. Way to make the moment even worse.

Choko is rushing off to work when she hears someone shout, "Purse snatcher!" A scruffy man is running away from a cop on a bicycle. Choko goes into badass mode. She grabs the perp by the arm as he tries to run past her. She swings him around and then over her shoulder, smashing him to the ground. Don't mess with the dead!

Choko changes into uniform and goes on patrol. She runs into a group of students who are skipping school (oh no, it's those gawd-awful plaid pants again! It's like part of a school uniform. Grey blazers and brown plaid pants. Dear Lord, what evil is behind all this?) when she hears someone scream, "Fire!" Choko quickly runs towards the danger. She's able to bring out a mother and young baby but there's still another child inside the burning home. Choko valiantly dives back into the inferno and finds the child. However, she's overcome by smoke inhalation and falls to the floor as images of her family run through her mind. Luckily the firefighters have arrived and find them.

At the emergency room, Choko stands by as the doctors work on the little girl. They're able to revive her and Choko is relieved. Someone asks, "What about the other one?" and is told "she" didn't make it. Curious as to who the other victim is, Choko peeks around the curtain to see ... her own body on the table. The Uehara family (the live ones, that is) come into the room to mourn over her body. Choko is unable to be heard or seen by anyone.

Then The Light appears. Choko starts to step into it and dissolve when she hears Tonbo repeatedly crying for his mother to wake up. She steps back out and The Light is all, "Fine. Be that way." and disappears. Choko is crying over her family when she notices a mysterious young man standing out in the hallway. He seems to be able to see her and she goes racing after him. She catches up to him in the lobby and starts asking him all sorts of questions, like he's supposed to be the Information Desk of the Dead. He takes the easy way out and disappears.

Finally accepting she's a ghost, Choko decides to keep watch over her family. We jump forward three months. She wonders why her family can't get over her death in such a short amount of time. Whenever she tries to touch anyone, her hand simply goes right through them and they feel an intense chill. Tonbo is having difficulty seeing so Dad plans to take him to the eye doctor. (In an almost off-hand manner we also learn that Aoi is actually Choko's step daughter.)

Choko accompanies her son to school. He's picked on by other kids and is too depressed to participate in his classes. Choko is watching the school kids play ball, talking to herself about how powerless she feels, when the dead young man from before appears. He explains to her that if she thinks she's powerless then she will be powerless. As an example, the ball rolls towards the ghosts. Choko tries to pick it up but her hands move through it. The mysterious man easily picks the ball up and throws it back to the now frightened kid. (I'm reminded of the scene from Ghost where Patrick Swayze learns from the subway ghost how to kick a can.)

Back at home Choko practices on trying to touch things to no avail. Tonbo comes home from school and mopes around. On a table is a picture of his late mother. Her eyeglasses rest before the photograph. Tonbo tries the glasses on and is amazed at how well he is able to see now. Everything is in focus.

Including his mother.

Not only do the eyeglasses allow him to see his mother's ghost, they somehow enable him to hear her as well. (I mention this because this is one of my pet peeves. Seeing her through her glasses kind of makes sense, but why should the glasses make him able to hear her as well? Just sayin'. Also, I've just noticed he has the word Rainbow in big letters on the seat of his pants.) Tonbo tells his family about the glasses and Choko's ghost, but they just think it's part of his dealing with his mother's death. When Aoi and Kohei try on the glasses, they can't see her. It only works for the little boy.

We're back to the beginning as Tonbo, wearing the glasses, leaves for school. He's happy to be reunited with his mother but when they reach the school yard he insists she not accompany him any further. He doesn't like her spying on him all the time. So what does a ghost do with time on her hands? She goes to her old police department to check up on things. She overhears a couple of officers discussing a string of arson cases. They wonder if the fire Choko died in was also arson. Conveniently, an alert comes in to the department about a factory fire. Choko is on the case.

Outside the burning building a crowd has gathered to gawk. Choko notices one man who looks familiar. She remembers the other fire, the one that killed her, also had a crowd of spectators outside and this man was there as well. Choko is suspicious and follows him to his home. He has a scrap book filled with pictures and newspaper articles about all the fires. He also has a large calendar with certain days marked with a red star. She recognizes the red star dates correspond with the dates of the arson fires. This is the man who is ultimately responsible for her death. But... she's a ghost. What can she do?

That night Choko discusses all this with her six-year-old son, because six-year-old's can handle these kind of things. She attempts to use Tonbo as her mouthpiece and sends him to her old police chief, Mifune Yoshimitsu, to report the arsonist. The chief doesn't believe the child and thinks Tonbo is going crazy. Choko mutters to herself how they need conclusive evidence. Tonbo takes it upon himself to go get that evidence. Way to put your six-year-old into a dangerous situation, dead mom.

With an old-fashioned camera around his neck (you know - the kind that takes actual film), Tonbo shadows the arson suspect. This arsonist isn't much of an arsonist. He has one teeny tiny can of lighter fluid. He's about to set another building on fire when he spies Tonbo taking pictures of him. He chases after the child and tries to get the camera. Choko finally finds them but all she can do is give the arsonist the chill of a lifetime. It's enough to get him to let go of Tonbo. The boy dashes into a warehouse with the arsonist again on his heels. Choko goes looking for help, forgetting the past three months and how NO ONE can see or hear her.

No human, that is. She spies Mifune out walking his dog. The dog can see her and she causes the animal to follow her, meaning her boss has to follow his dog. The arsonist has cornered Tonbo when Choko and the dog arrive. The man can't see Choko but he's utterly terrified by this (adorable) little poodle. Mifune comes to find his dog and Tonbo reports the man as the arsonist, claiming he has photographic evidence as well. Again using him as her mouthpiece, mom and son also tell the policeman about the calendar and where he can find the scrap book in the man's apartment. (On a legal note, would any of this be admissible in court?) The arsonist tries to run. Action Mifune takes him down. The criminal is hauled off to jail and Tonbo is reunited with his (living) family.

Case closed.

Golden Time Episode 1

Lee Min Woo (played by that deep-voiced guy, Lee Sun Gyun) is watching a cheap knockoff of Gray's Anatomy when he hears someone come into the room behind him. Thinking its his friend, Min Woo asks if his hyung's woman has left now and was she pretty this time. But when he turns around it is to find it's not his hyung but Kang Jae In (played by Hwang Jung Eum). Min Woo is embarrassed, especially when the knock-off drama doctors start having sex and making loud noises about it.

Finally the friend comes in and introduces Jae In and Min Woo. Mr. Exposition goes on to give Jae In the life story of Min Woo, never allowing Min Woo to get a word in edgewise. Finally Mr. Exposition asks Min Woo to cover for him at the ER this weekend. This is when the film editors start doing that thing I simply can't stand. The camera cuts to him - to her - to the other guy - to him- to the other guy - to her. Keep on one actor for more than two seconds!!

Min Woo also gets suckered into driving Jae In back to Seoul. (They're not even out of the driveway when Mr. Exposition/Playa gets a phone call from another woman. BTW, his character's name is Sun Woo but do you care? I don't.) During the ride Jae In reveals she's going to be throwing a surprise party for Mr. Exposition since it's his birthday and their 100th day of dating. Min Woo, knowing what a player his pal is, asks her if she's already paid for the present she's giving Sun Woo and can she get her money back on it. Girl, this is a red flag!

Suddenly a vehicle cuts in front of them and Min Woo snaps into road rage. He races recklessly along the highway to catch up to the offending jeep while Jae In squeals annoyingly.  Just as they're about to catch up, up ahead is a multi-car accident that's already happened. The jeep is unable to slow down in time and crashes into the wreckage. Min Woo is just able to stop his own car before they become part of the mess.

Before they can catch their breaths, a truck coming from the other direction somehow doesn't see ALL THESE WRECKED AND BURNING CARS STREWN ACROSS THE ROAD. Hitting another car, the truck is launched into the air and comes crashing to a halt just in front of our lead characters and throwing a live chicken up on Min Woo's car hood. Maybe it was the chicken driving the truck because how could he not see ALL THESE WRECKED AND BURNING CARS STREWN ACROSS THE ROAD?!?!?

It takes a minute but finally Jae In remembers, "Hey, I'm a doctor. I should be helping these people." Min Woo, however, isn't that gung ho to get involved. Slowly wandering around and half-heartedly doing triage, Jae In comes across a mother whose child is trapped in her upside-down car. The two women attempt to pry the bent door open. Min Woo comes over to point out they don't have the proper equipment to extract the child or an ambulance to transport him to the nearest hospital. Just leave the kid alone and wait for the paramedics. Mom yells at Min Woo that if he isn't going to help then get the hell away. You're my favorite character so far, Bloody Mother With No Name.

Min Woo pulls Jae In away and talks about how they could be sued by these people if something goes wrong. All of a sudden Bloody Mother With No Name falls unconscious to the ground. No, not my favorite character! Finally the EMTs show up and Min Woo can go back to taking pictures with his cell phone. The child is cut out of the car and Jae In takes responsibility for him as his mother is being taken away in the ambulance. Then a car blows up, but that's not really important.

We move to the controlled chaos of an emergency room as the severely injured are brought in. This small place is unable to take in so many casualties at once so the chief doctor, Choi In Hyuk, orders the ER to be vacated within thirty minutes. It appears they're getting rid of everybody they can get rid of. Jae In bets $10 that the hospital can do it in the allotted time. Min Woo bets $20 that they can't. I bet $30 that I don't care one way or the other.

Min Woo, Jae In, and Kid With No Name hang out for awhile in the ER (Oh I've been through the ER with a kid with no name...) as more crash victims are brought in. They spot when Bloody Mother With No Name is brought in so the trio go to hang out in the examination room with the medical staff because you can do that in a kdrama hospital. Min Woo gives his opinion of what's wrong with the woman and Dr. Choi, who has never seen Min Woo before in his life, bases his treatment on what this complete stranger has told him.

Ah, but there are no available operating rooms (natch) so Choi makes the renegade decision of performing surgery in the ER. He goes to scrub up and our trio gets to stand by and watch because no one has bothered to say, "Hey, you can't be here with a kid! Authorized personnel only!" Nope, not gonna be said at all.

Surgery happens and I look away, 'cause I have a weak stomach. Good thing no one thought to close the blinds in this makeshift operating room, otherwise Jae In wouldn't be able to watch every bloody second. Min Woo acts like he can't stand the sight of blood, which is always a good thing to have an aversion to when you're a doctor. Jae In can't be torn away -- oh wait, she got a phone call. Yes, she can be torn away.

Min Woo goes to the gift shop to buy snacks. Jae In finds them in the lobby. They're all found by a grumpy old man and his posse. Jae In seems to know these people. After assuring them she's alright (she's got a cut on her arm and neck), the group walk out. Seconds later Jae In gets a call on her cell phone. It's Old Man, asking who's the geeky guy she's hanging out with.

Finally Husband of Bloody Mother With No Name shows up and Min Woo is able to unload the kid. I bet his arms are aching. Jae In goes to get her arm sewn up and Dr. Choi conveniently gets chewed out by his superior just outside her room. The cute young doctor sewing Jae In up must be a cousin of Mr. Exposition. Doctor Exposition throws confidentiality to the wind and tells Jae In and Min Woo all about Choi.

At last these two part ways. Jae In goes to watch her grandmother dance with a gay man. Who doesn't like to do that? Grandma isn't comfortable with Jae In's choice of interning at a small hospital just because it is also where Mr. Exposition is working at.

The medical staff at Choi's hospital get together to argue over what happened. I'm seeing all sorts of familiar kdrama veteran actors and I'm wondering how did they all get sucked into this horrible show?

Min Woo goes back to his boring, blood-free job. Does he never comb his hair? Mr. Exposition sends him a text with the address of the hospital where Min Woo is supposed to cover for him. It's a tiny hospital with empty parking spaces right up front and apparently only one nurse on duty in the ER. Min Woo expects a quiet night. You know what that means.

It means frantic parents rushing in with their young daughter who has quit breathing. Min Woo doesn't instill any confidence with his sweating and stammering. He works on the little girl for the longest time as mournful music plays. Admitting he's in over his head, Min Woo has the parents drive him and their daughter to Choi's hospital, leaving the other little hospital with only one nurse on duty in the ER and NO doctor at all.

The little girl is honestly DOA and at first Dr. Choi tries to make Min Woo make the call about the time of death. However, he quickly realizes how incompetent Min Woo is so the experience doctor calls it. Min Woo looks like he needs a doctor himself. He goes out and gets into a taxi cab, asking to be taken back to the first hospital. The driver replies it might be hard to get there with it raining so hard and some of the roads washed out. Then the driver asks Min Woo if he's a doctor. With tears in his eyes Min Woo keeps repeating, "I am a doctor. I am a doctor." And thus ends the only redeemable scene in this entire episode.

Two letters: P. U.

 

Three Kingdoms Episode 22

Cao Cao asks the bloody Ji Ping (who has bitten off one of his own fingers - go figure) who put him up to the assassination attempt. Ji Ping still won't rat out Dong Cheng, and when Cao Cao orders more torture, the old doctor escapes the soldiers and kills himself by that favorite Chinese drama death of ramming his head against something.

Cao Cao asks Dong Cheng if he's feeling any better. Perhaps he needs another dose of "medicine". Next to be dragged into the room is the slave of Dong Cheng who overheard his master's plotting with Ji Ping and went to warn Cao Cao. In a show of gratitude for saving his life, Cao Cao orders the slave to be executed since he betrayed his master. Ah, ethics.

While all this has been going on, soldiers have been searching Dong Cheng's estate and found the bloody imperial decree from the emperor. For Cao Cao's convenience, all the rebel lords in accordance with the emperor have signed the decree, so now the prime minister has a list of names. Nice going, guys. Way not to leave any evidence behind.

Wearing a silly helmet, Cao Cao and his men march into the imperial palace. The young emperor and Consort Dong are hiding out in his toilet cubicle. Cao Cao forces the emperor to watch as the pregnant Consort Dong is strangled. With Dong's still warm body remaining in the room, Cao Cao brings in a young woman. She's another one of the emperor's concubines, and she's Cao Cao's daughter. Did you know he had a daughter? I didn't know he had a daughter until this episode. He has all sorts of kids coming out of the woodwork now. Cao Cao has the crown plucked from the head of the dead queen and gives it to the emperor, strongly implying that Concubine Cao should now become the new empress. That wimpy kid declares it so. Cao Cao and his soldiers all drop to their knees and wish long life to the emperor. So cold.

Now that that's out of the way it's back to business and business is good. Business being war, because that's all that's really happening in this show. Cao Cao musters his forces and marches on Xuzhou and Liu Bei. Liu Bei sends a messenger to Yuan Shao's camp to ask for help. With Cao Cao and most of the army out of the city of Xuchang, this would be the perfect time for Yuan Shao to attack and take over the custodianship of the ineffectual emperor. However, the old man's young son has suddenly fallen ill and Yuan Shao doesn't want to hear any talk of going to war. He just wants to nurse his child back to health.

Guan Yu is stationed at Xiapi and from a discussion with a subordinate we learn there is a great and bloody battle going on at Xuzhou. Too bad we can't see it. With no help coming from Yuan Shao, Liu Bei bets it all on a surprise night attack. But once again...

Cao Cao has been making it appear his troops are exhausted when really he's been saving the best for last. Finally some battle scenes! Loudmouth and Zhao "No Lines" Yun hold the rear while Liu Bei makes his escape. He rides his horse to exhaustion. Feeling useless and hopeless, Liu Bei walks to the edge of a cliff and prepares to throw himself over when he's stopped by Xu You, an advisor of Yuan Shao's who had tried to get the old man to chuck his responsibility to his sick child and get him to march. Xu You convinces Liu Bei that he still has responsibilities to the Han Empire and can't kill himself just yet.

 

I've never been a fan of Liu Bei's and frankly, if he had thrown himself off the cliff, I would have been quite happy about it.

Three Kingdoms RPG Episode 1

As far as I'm aware this is my first Hong Kong drama. I have to be careful not to make it my last and judge other HK dramas by this unholy mess.

Long story short: Szema Shun is a modern day slacker who, other than a few side jobs, does nothing with his life but play video games. His main expertise is in the game Conqueror of Three Kingdoms. Shun learns a local game shop is going to be for sale and he hits his father up for the money. Dad won't part with a dime (or whatever it is Hong Kong has) to his ne'er-do-well son.

Shun then enters a video game championship and hopes to win the money for the shop that way. He makes it to the finals but loses in the end. Oh, and there's some other storyline with a rich guy trying to set Szema up for drug possession. Shun's two besties betray him so they can get deals, so the cops are after him.

Shun is out working as an extra on a movie location. He's one of those nameless soldiers in a historical battle scene, so he's dressed in fake armor, carries a rubber spear, and has a wig on. A typhoon comes blowing in and Shun runs to seek shelter in a cave. While in the cave, a cheesy special effect whisks him off through time to the true era of the Three Kingdoms.

This was just bad. The direction and camera work was bad. The acting was bad. The special effects are bad. I can't think of one positive thing to say about this episode.

Three Kingdoms Episode 21

Cao Cao's troops catch up to Liu Bei and inform him the prime minister wants him to return to the city, but Liu Bei refuses. When the generals return and tell Cao Cao about not accomplishing their mission, Cao Cao basically shrugs it off.

 

Liu Bei's men intercept and decimate Yuan Shu's troops. More importantly, Zhao Yun has lines! Yuan Shu and what few men he has left, as well as that damn seal he's always caressing, are holed up in a temple. Liu Bei sends Zhao Yun in with a letter which advises Yuan to not be captured and humiliated but to take care of business. Yuan Shu agrees and slashes his throat with his sword.

 

Liu Bei sends the much coveted imperial seal back to Cao Cao but he keeps the 50,000 men the prime minister lent him and goes on to conquer Xu Province once again.  Cao Cao collapses at hearing the news. For the first time in twenty-one episodes we learn Cao Cao has sons. As they hover at their father's beside, Cao Cao asks Cao Pi how his military studies are going and asks Cao Zhi how his poetry is doing.

Meanwhile, Yuan Shao is holding court and debating whether to march against Cao Cao or not. Some ministers are for it while others ask that it be postponed for a couple of years so the army and the land can recover. In the end Yuan Shao orders the army to assemble and start moving out immediately.

When Cao Cao learns of this, he pulls himself out of his sickbed and announces he will personally lead his army into the field against Yuan Shao.  Dong Cheng runs to tell the good news to the emperor, who is in his toilet. Not only that, but Dong tells how the court doctor, a one Ji Ping who has been treating Cao Cao, is actually a faithful servant to the emperor.

Later, Dong Cheng and Ji Ping have dinner and discuss plans of the doctor slipping some poison into Cao Cao's medicine. Ah, but Cao Cao has ears and eyes everywhere. When next the prime minister is supposedly down, Ji Ping brews him some medicine. When he brings the bowl over to his patient, Cao Cao asks that the doctor taste the medicine first. When the old man is hesitant, the heretofore unknown Cao boys leap into action and restrain the doctor. Cao Cao asks who put him up to this but Ji Ping claims he was acting on his own. The prime minister doesn't believe him and orders the doctor to be tortured.

Next, soldiers storm into the home of Dong Cheng and "insist" he come to the palace for a banquet. Cao Cao asks Dong Cheng to join him in a toast. Dong Cheng claims he isn't feeling well so he can't drink alcohol. He doesn't feel well? Then Cao Cao has just the person to treat him. The bloodied and tortured Dr. Ji is dragged into the room and dropped at Dong Cheng's feet.

Office Girls Episode 6

Gaksital was extra intense this week. What I need is a lightweight rom-com with an annoying theme song to lift my mood.

Manager Shi Te Long is missing Xing Ren more and more, and that bitch Mandy is not picking up the slack. Te Long takes Xing Ren's resignation letter and writes on it that he recommends the company refuse to accept it. He hands the letter to Le Le (who is wearing close to Daisy Dukes to the office. I absolutely will not accept the idea that professional Taiwanese businesswomen wear such teeny tiny shorts in real life. But I digress...) who is supposed to take the letter to her boss, VP of HR Feng Ren Yue.

As Le Le is walking down the hallway she's stopped by Kai Er, who asks where Zi Qi is. Le Le replies he's gone to visit Xing Ren, which doesn't sit well with the gold digger. When Le Le turns to leave she drops her armload of papers on the floor. As Kai Er is helping pick them up, she spies Xing Ren's letter and secrets it away. Back at her cubicle, Kai Er alters Te Long's notation to make it appear he does recommend the company accept Xing Ren's resignation.

Meanwhile, back at the farm - or wherever it is Xing Ren's mom lives - Mrs. Shen is teaching Zi Qi how to string beans. Mom apologizes for her small home and Zi Qi assures her its a wonderful place. A huge house doesn't make it a home if there's no love inside. They get to talking about his family. Zi Qi explains his parents are divorced and they were always too busy to bother with him. He admits he envies Xing Ren's close relationship with her mother. Mom responds that she's glad her daughter has such a nice boyfriend. Both Xing Ren and Zi Qi protest, but Mom still insists she knows what she sees.

A typhoon blows in early and Zi Qi is stuck with the Shen's. They don't have a roof, they have a sieve. There's a particularly large hole in the kitchen. Zi Qi and Xing Ren climb up to the roof to put a tarp over the hole and have a conversation. Because that's what you do in the middle of a typhoon: climb up on the roof and talk. As Zi Qi is climbing back down a gust of wind blows the ladder over and he falls the ground. He's just sprained his arm but he enjoys all the attention being lavished on him by the womenfolk.

The next day Le Le pouts to Te Long, asking why he couldn't give Xing Ren another chance. Why did he accept her resignation? Te Long is wondering why VP Feng approved the letter when he's told that Yu Cheng Feng is here. He rushes right over to fawn all over the designer. Cheng Feng asks where Xing Ren is. Zi Qi (who has finally showed up for work) walks over and proclaims that Xing Ren was snatched up by another, better, department store and Cheng Feng should think about following her. Te Long tries to cover for the store by saying Xing Ren is just off for some personal time. Cheng Feng won't do business without Xing Ren and starts to leave. Before he can totally escape the department store, Kai Er stops him to introduce him to her boss, VP Creepy Touchy. Creepy Touchy puts out his hand for a shake but Cheng Feng doesn't want to touch something that's used for creepy touching. The designer is now on Creepy Touchy's bad side.

Needing Xing Ren in order to keep Cheng Feng, Shi Te Long and Zi Qi travel to Casa Shen to bring her back. Mom is totally squealing over Zi Qi's return and insists they stay for lunch. Mom presents her daughter's boss with a bottle of wine she brewed herself. Te Long proceeds to get three sheets in the wind. He's thrown in the back of his luxury car to sleep it off and Zi Qi drives them all back to Taipei.

Not even home yet, they have to pull off at a gas station so slightly sobered up Te Long can go to the bathroom. Alone in the car, Zi Qi tells Xing Ren he'll help her recover her house money if she can just wait a year. She asks why a year. Remembering the contract and the condition of not telling anyone who he is, Zi Qi simply answers that a year from now he'll be a totally different person. Xing Ren scoffs at this. She believes he'll be the same a year from now as he is now. Zi Qi offers a bet. A year from now whoever is right gets to make the loser do one thing the winner tells them to do. I'm sure this bet will become important at the end of the show.

Lights And Shadows Episode 2

Oh Lord, it's on WAT. I hate WAT.

Lee Jeong Hye is forcibly removed from the tea house and thank goodness. She's awful. This clears the way for Plaid and Pal to negotiate with Sin Jeong Gu, the manager of the performing troupe. He wants to be paid in advance for his show. My scam radar is going off and I'm afraid naive Plaid is all in. But wait, perhaps he's not so dumb. After they leave the tea house, he orders Pal to go check with the performing troupe association and make sure Sin Jeong Gu is legit.

Slimy (and bruised) Yang Tae Seong wants Jeong Hye to appear in a film in which she'll have to be nude. Jeong Hye says she'll consider it. Stupid. No wonder you look like Korea's version of That Girl.

Proud Mary break! Although the singer doesn't seem to know all the words and simply repeats the first part over again. Still, A for Effort.

Plaid and Pal meet up with Tae Seong in a honky tonk. Plaid wants to know about Jeong Hye. Tae Seong claims she's an orphan and that he thinks of her like a sister. (A sister you want to strip for money.) As he's talking, Tae Seong suddenly becomes greatly nervous. The reason why saunters up to the table. It's Jilsuk from Queen Seondeok and he's wearing a purple leisure suit! He orders his minions to drag Tae Seong outside, excusing himself to Plaid and Pal. After a pleading Tae Seong is taken outside, Plaid wants to go stick his nose in other people's business, despite the begging of Pal to leave well enough alone.

Everybody was kung fu fighting - and losing to Plaid. He takes the minions down. Jilsuk - I mean, No Sang Taek - is impressed. Who knew this show had so much action.

Meanwhile, Senator Jang meets with Cha Soo Hyuk and his totally non-period hairstyle. Soo Hyuk agrees to work for the senator. He's shocked when they're joined by Jo Myeong Guk. He's publicly Old Man Who Is In Absolutely Everything's right hand man, but secretly has started working for the senator as well.

Back in Seoul, Plaid (Oh Lord, Plaid, what are you wearing now?!?) and Pal attend a performance of the troupe they're supposedly going to hire. My scam radar is still pinging away.

Mony Mony break! While whoever did the subtitles got the lyrics right, the singer seems to ad-lib a bit. Then Korean Elvis performs, followed by Korean Diana Ross. This does seem to be a show well worth the money.

After the show, as Plaid is ready to sign the contract, Jeong Hye interrupts and once again tries to audition. Once again she's forcibly removed. Is this going to be her regular schtick? Plaid asks Sin Jeong Gu to allow her to perform with the troupe at his theater.

Senator Jang has Old Man's taxes investigated. Traitor Jo attempts to convince Old Man to change his mind and join forces with Jang. Old Man is not impressed. He drives his luxury jeep over to Jang HQ and barges into the office, having bodily thrown people out of his way to do so. Now we know where Plaid gets his fightin' skills. He lets the senator know in no uncertain terms he will not become bedfellows with Jang. I'm still wondering why Jang is so intent on getting Old Man. I mean, he's only one guy who turned down making campaign contributions. Move on, Jang. Find other contributors.

Plaid returns home triumphantly, explaining to Old Man how they've hired a troupe and big name performers are coming to town. He orders Pal to go make up some posters, something with prominent pictures of the stars he's promising.

Yang Tae Seong tries to hit Jeong Hye up for some money but she doesn't have any at the moment. Next he goes to try and bum some off of Manager Sin. Sin at first tells him to get lost, yet Tae Seong seems to have something on the manager and hints at blackmail. Sin changes his tune and asks how much.

In between plastering the town with posters, Soo Hyuk talks Plaid into meeting with Jang and trying to patch things up between his father and the senator. During the meeting, Jang asks for 5000 vouchers to the mid Autumn festival show so he can get campaign contributions. Plaid points out that handing over that many vouchers would prevent him from making a profit off the show. Jang explains that Plaid is still young, he has plenty of time to make a profit, while the window of opportunity for making a friend of a senator is short. Son, like Old Man, is not impressed. In a snit, Plaid goes over to the opposition party and offers them 500 vouchers for their campaign.

Suddenly the subtitles go insane.

"Self to obey positive theater to establish later."

I'm left to guess what is being said at the very end of the episode. I do get that the bus with the performing troupe comes into town and (as anyone with a brain expected) there are no big name stars on it.



So far the endings of this show have been rather flat. I think they should have ended each episode like this, with the cast performing a classic song used on the soundtrack. They should have started it nice and easy, and then ended it rough.