Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Le Jun Kai Episode 9

Well, since I started the thing and since the episode is short I guess I should bookend the show with the finale. Wondering what happened between Episode 2 and now? Not much, really. Lots and lots of flashbacks showing us that Le Jun Kai was just as big an ass back in the day as he is in the present. Ass. Ass ass ass ass ass ass.
 
After getting a test done to prove Tian Tian is truly his, Jun Kai demands his son back. At first Li Ye refuses him but then she steps back and takes a long look at the hard scrabble life she is forcing her chubby chubbs to endure. Li Ye makes a mother's sacrifice and turns Tian Tian over to his father (who continues to be an ass) because at least this way her son will be warm, well fed, and have a chance at a good education. Jun Kai's sister proves what a useless caregiver she is by promptly losing her nephew. The boy is found by villain Lei Lun who abducts Tian Tian and ties him to a forklift. (It's supposed to be a dramatic moment but some of us couldn't help but laugh.)
 
When she learns about her son's disappearance, Li Ye miraculously grows a backbone and bitch slaps Jun Kai for losing Tian Tian. Unfortunately she goes right back to being a wet noodle. Jun Kae plans to go alone to meet with Lei Lun and tells Li Ye to stay right here. Of course she has to mess up his plans and follow him to the warehouse where Lei Lun and his lawn chair are waiting.
 
 
 
And now the end of Le Jun Kai.
 
 
Lei Lun has a contract spread out on top of a crate. With Tian Tian tied to the forklift, the villain orders Jun Kai to sign away his business or else it will be curtains for the kid. (I'm still not sure what this business exactly is, only that it involves Jackie Chan.) Jun Kai takes the pen Lei Lun offered and rams the writing utensil clear through the villain's hand. Gosh, Jun Kai - you'd be cool if you weren't such an ass.
 
To keep the other goons off his back, Jun Kai rips the pen free and now holds it menacingly at Lei Lun's throat. And here comes Li Ye to ruin everything and get captured by the goons. Not wanting her to get hurt, Jun Kai reluctantly releases Lei Lun. Meanwhile Jun Kai's useless sister and his right hand man are sneaking around elsewhere in the warehouse. Right Hand Man proves his worth by unleashing his ninja skills on a couple of thugs and goes on to rescue Tian Tian from the forklift.
 
 
 
 
And now we're back to the beginning when we first met Le Jun Kai as he was getting a beat down while Li Ye cried out helplessly. Jun Kai offers to give over everything if they'll let Li Ye go. Lei Lun says he do anything he wants to any woman Jun Kai ever loved. Suddenly it's all clear to Jun Kai. It was Lei Lun all those years ago who killed his first wife, not Li Ye's father. After another short beating this is the part where Lei Lun informs him how Li Ye knew all along that Jun Kai killed her father yet she still married him.
 
Suddenly Useless Sister and Right Hand Man stumble upon the scene. Right Hand Man wants to come to Jun Kai's defense but Li Ye screams for them to get Tian Tian out of there. The other goons start to go after this group which allows Jun Kai time to leap up and start giving Lei Lun a beating of his own.
 
As Jun Kai stumbles towards Li Ye he thinks back to all the times he's been an absolute bastard to her (and that's quite a lot, thank you) while also enduring various blows from hired extras, including a foam pipe blow to the head. Are these guys armed with Nerf weapons?
 
As he finally makes his way to his ex-wife, Jun Kai at least apologizes to her. A tearful Li Ye holds him in her arms, easily forgiving him for all the shit he's put her through. Suddenly (and not too clearly) Lei Lun rises up behind the couple and does.... something ... to Jun Kai. Jun Kai falls to the floor. Lei Lun is reaching for a very long knife/very short sword/somewhere in between when Li Ye reaches it first and has her second moment of glory when she slashes the villain's throat.
 
Jun Kai and Li Ye decide this is a good time to have a long conversation about their son. Jun Kai says it will take the both of them to raise the teletubby which is his way of asking her to come back to him. He reaches out to stroke her cheek as he professes his love for her.
 
 
Then he drops dead.
 
 
 
 
The End
 
 
 

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