Yes, there's another episode.
Yes, I'm watching it.
Yes, I have no idea why.
The show opens with Zoey #2 on a stage practicing a dance routine. (Viewers have been raving she's a better dancer than Zoey #1 was. I still don't see it. She's just flailing around to my eyes.) Half of the F4 have come to watch her dance and rewatch the video of last night's girl fight at the fundraiser.
Chloe and Piper then drop by for a visit. Zoey #2 points off camera to show them a non-existent poster announcing an expensive school trip to Hawaii. (Seriously, the Show couldn't afford to make a prop poster?) The boys are listening in as Chloe suggests they instead take a timeshare out in Malibu. When Liam learns about the girls' plans, he makes Malibu plans of his own.
The girls arrive at the palatial beach house. It must take hours for them to climb the stairs as it starts out daylight but it's pitch black when they come through the front door. Or perhaps it was a total eclipse as we viewers are shown shots of the interior of the house and it's daylight outside once again.
Anyway, the girls keep talking about someone named Brad. He may be a surf instructor. As the girls are giggling upstairs they hear someone enter downstairs. It's the F3 (Liam, Chase and Noah. Where's sensitive Oliver? And where'd the sun go? It's dark again.) The boys announce that they're going to be the girls' roommates. The blocking of the scene (that has only one angle) is rather awkward. All you see of the boys are their backs and sometimes they're standing right in front of whoever is reciting a line.
Then for some reason the three prostitutes show up at the beach house as well. Their appearance makes my laptop freeze up. Anyway, someone off camera suggests they all call a truce for the next three days since the entire cast (minus sensitive Oliver) will be sharing the house. This now includes the three other boys who once tried to rape Zoey #1. Good times, good friends. I know I'd like to share a beach house with the creeps who threatened to sexually assault me.
Later, sensitive Oliver finally joins the rest of the cast. The actor doesn't look well. Perhaps that's why he wasn't in the earlier scenes: he was off puking his guts out. Oliver and Zoey #2 share ear buds as they listen to a new song together. Liam looks on with hurt in his eyes. Meanwhile Piper and Chase have their moment of flirting while Chloe and Noah bond over Wii.
And so... nothing really happens for awhile. Liam clumsily tries flirting with Zoey #2, only to end up pissing her off and getting water thrown in his face. Soft jazz music plays as Liam practices asking Zoey #2 out to a party. (I don't know if the cameraman is grooving along with the music or had one too many for lunch as he can't keep the camera still.)
Zoey #2 is out back practicing her liturgical dance when she's joined by Oliver. Girl talk time! Have you ever been in love?
Liam's jealousy drives him to confront Zoey #2 and demand to know if she's into Oliver or not. Zoey #2 slaps Liam and storms off only to walk in on sensitive Oliver kissing Jade, who has just arrived. Once again I have to laugh at the inept camera work. Jade is talking to Zoey but we only see her from the chin down. Oliver is standing behind her and is nearly invisible.
Finally the last of the cast, Aubrey, arrives at the very crowded beach house. They put on their clubbing clothes to go out and hit the town. (And when I say "town" I mean the living room with the drapes closed so you won't notice they're using the same set.) Zoey #2 is sitting alone moping over sensitive Oliver when she's joined by Riley, Aubrey's male best friend. He's got a secret crush on Zoey, although I get the vibe he'd be more comfortable with a crush on Liam, IUKWIM.
Riley whines about being the son of a famous senator and how he's expected to follow in Dad's footsteps. Riley doesn't want to go into politics. He wants to go around setting up safe houses for victims of human trafficking.
Out on the dance floor Chloe is harassed by some creep (played by Rainbow Brite from the hair salon. He's gone straight!) The F4 come to her rescue. Noah comforts the shaken Chloe. Piper tells Chase this crazy pirate story. The blond prostitute is jealous of how much time Chase spends with the other girl. Chris the Rapist attempts to comfort the blond.
She's not the only one needing a shoulder to cry on. Jade and Oliver have been eating each other alive, putting a wet blanket on Zoey #2's evening. Liam asks Zoey to dance with him. The unseen DJ announces at the count of three everyone must kiss, which they do. Chloe kisses Noah, Chris the Rapist kisses the blond prostitute, the other mean girl kisses a guy I've never seen before, and yes, Zoey #2 kisses Liam.
Later, sensitive Oliver finally joins the rest of the cast. The actor doesn't look well. Perhaps that's why he wasn't in the earlier scenes: he was off puking his guts out. Oliver and Zoey #2 share ear buds as they listen to a new song together. Liam looks on with hurt in his eyes. Meanwhile Piper and Chase have their moment of flirting while Chloe and Noah bond over Wii.
And so... nothing really happens for awhile. Liam clumsily tries flirting with Zoey #2, only to end up pissing her off and getting water thrown in his face. Soft jazz music plays as Liam practices asking Zoey #2 out to a party. (I don't know if the cameraman is grooving along with the music or had one too many for lunch as he can't keep the camera still.)
Zoey #2 is out back practicing her liturgical dance when she's joined by Oliver. Girl talk time! Have you ever been in love?
Liam's jealousy drives him to confront Zoey #2 and demand to know if she's into Oliver or not. Zoey #2 slaps Liam and storms off only to walk in on sensitive Oliver kissing Jade, who has just arrived. Once again I have to laugh at the inept camera work. Jade is talking to Zoey but we only see her from the chin down. Oliver is standing behind her and is nearly invisible.
Finally the last of the cast, Aubrey, arrives at the very crowded beach house. They put on their clubbing clothes to go out and hit the town. (And when I say "town" I mean the living room with the drapes closed so you won't notice they're using the same set.) Zoey #2 is sitting alone moping over sensitive Oliver when she's joined by Riley, Aubrey's male best friend. He's got a secret crush on Zoey, although I get the vibe he'd be more comfortable with a crush on Liam, IUKWIM.
Riley whines about being the son of a famous senator and how he's expected to follow in Dad's footsteps. Riley doesn't want to go into politics. He wants to go around setting up safe houses for victims of human trafficking.
Out on the dance floor Chloe is harassed by some creep (played by Rainbow Brite from the hair salon. He's gone straight!) The F4 come to her rescue. Noah comforts the shaken Chloe. Piper tells Chase this crazy pirate story. The blond prostitute is jealous of how much time Chase spends with the other girl. Chris the Rapist attempts to comfort the blond.
She's not the only one needing a shoulder to cry on. Jade and Oliver have been eating each other alive, putting a wet blanket on Zoey #2's evening. Liam asks Zoey to dance with him. The unseen DJ announces at the count of three everyone must kiss, which they do. Chloe kisses Noah, Chris the Rapist kisses the blond prostitute, the other mean girl kisses a guy I've never seen before, and yes, Zoey #2 kisses Liam.
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