LEX Episode 1

This is part of DramaFever's Latino collection.

I try to be open minded about these TV shows from different countries, but let's be honest - bad is bad no matter what the language is.

LEX is the Latin word for law. It is also the law firm founded by three friends: Dani Leon (the woman), Mario Estrada (baldy) and Gonzalo Xifre (beardy). 

The first case is handled by Mario. He's representing a rich client who is being sued for sexually harassing a female employee. There's a security video clearly showing him doing the harassing. Mario destroys the evidence and in court he destroys the woman, making her out to be an alcoholic trouble maker who was probably trying to show her breasts to her boss.

Mario and Dani are engaged to be married. Dani claims she'll be out of town in Barcelona. Mario, wanting to celebrate his victory in court, takes home another woman to do the celebrating with. Dani was lying about being away because she was wanting to surprise Mario in his apartment. Well, she's the one who got surprised. Mario follows Dani to the bar where the cast hangs out. He keeps trying to tell her it was nothing and he still loves her. Ah, men. When he goes to the bathroom, the woman from the court case follows him in and shoots him. He lives but I doubt this will change him and make him a better man.

Dani is wanting Mario to sell his shares in the company and resign because she doesn't want to work with him anymore. Gonzalo attempts to get his two friends/partners to work things out.

On to the second case. Dani's client is a John Wayne Bobbitt kind of guy who got his penis cut off by a disgruntled girlfriend. Ah, men. It just so happens, though, that at the same time he was in the hospital for that, another man was brought in with his tallywhacker cut off in an accident.

Wait for it..... Wait for it....

Now the client is claiming he got the wrong penis sewn back on and he wants his original dick back because the one he has now is smaller.

Oh Spain, what the hell am I going to do with you?

Meanwhile, Mario is well enough to go back to work. In this convoluted story he now wants to represent the woman who shot him in an effort to win back Dani.

Juan, the guy who got the best end of the penis swapping deal, comes to see Dani and explain to her his side of the story. He's a virgin and has never had a girlfriend because he's always been ashamed of Mr. Tiny. But now he's met a girl on the internet and they're going to meet face to face for the first time. This is why he's fighting so hard to keep Mr. Big.

Asshole Mario tells Dani that although he had a naked woman in his bed he wasn't able to perform so therefore he didn't technically cheat on Dani. She's insulted that he would think she would be stupid enough to believe such crap.

A witness has been found who was in the bathroom the night of the shooting. Mario attempts to blackmail the witness (the married man was in a stall doing a waitress - does no one in Spain keep their pants on?) but the man dares the lawyer to try and prove anything. 

We go back to the rich lecher from the first case. Mario has one of the women from the office go apply for a job at the lecher's business. The old man is all over the woman. She's got a camera hidden in her purse recording all this. Mario sends the video to the lecher's wife. I really don't know why this is included in the story unless it is a very weak attempt to prove that Mario does know right from wrong.

"That bastard has my penis!" One of the great quotes of all time. Dani tries to get her client to offer money to Juan to get his penis back. I can't believe I'm typing this. Juan won't give it up. Possession is nine tenths of the law after all.

Back in court, the guy from the toilet is just starting to testify when Dani walks into the courtroom with the guy's wife and young son. Right afterwards walks in Mario escorting the waitress the guy had been doing in the stall. Toilet Guy then changes his story and claims he didn't see anything at all that night.

Juan finally meets the girl from the internet only to find she's in a wheelchair. Apparently that's all it takes to make him change his mind about giving the penis back. I still can't believe I'm typing this.

Blah blah blah  Mario makes a moving closing statement and wins his case blah blah blah. Dani forgives him enough to allow Mario to keep working at LEX but she doesn't forgive him enough to take him back personally. Mario goes home and cries. Well, that's what you get for being an asshole.