Let's see what that baby bouncer Liu Bei is up to today. Perhaps he'll chuck a toddler into a ditch. With two friggin' minutes of opening credits, I should have plenty of time to go to the kitchen and get something to drink.
Zhuge Liang advises Liu Bei to make an alliance with Sun Quan. (I can only hope this brings us closer to Ruby Lin finally clocking into the show.) As luck and the script would have it, the Southland has sent an envoy, Lu Su.
Lu Su comes right to the point about his visit. On the surface he's extending condolences over old man Liu Biao's death, while his real job is to put out feelers concerning Cao Cao's military strength. The news is not good as Cao Cao has a shitload of men and materiel. Lu Su agrees that at this point they need each other to face the Prime Minister. Zhuge Liang volunteers to accompany Lu Su back to meet with Sun Quan.
Meanwhile, Cao Cao's beard is getting even bushier. He makes the announcement that with the spring thaw he will lead a million man march across the Yangtze and deal with Liu Bei once and for all (again). He plans for this to be his last fight and afterwards he will retire from the battlefield. Yeah, right.
What it all boils down to is the build up to the famous Battle of Red Cliff. I still haven't seen the movie. I worry whether the show will have the money to do this right.
Cao Cao has the message sent to Sun Quan proposing their own alliance in hunting down Liu Bei. Oh, Cao Cao knows it ain't gonna happen. What he's doing is psychological warfare, getting the people of the Southland all up in arms because Cao Cao and his army are coming.
Lu Su and Zhuge Liang arrive at their destination, already knowing about Cao Cao's missive. Lu Su is summoned to appear immediately before Sun Quan. Worrywart Zhang Zhao is droning on and on about how outnumbered and outclassed the Southland is by Cao Cao's army. He recommends they just give up now in hopes of Cao Cao taking it easy on them. Some other no name courtiers back Zhang Zhao. Sun Quan asks for time alone to think about it.
Alone (well, except for all the guards and eunuchs standing around that is) Lu Su explains to his master why it's so easy for the others to recommend surrender. For minor pencil pushers like them life will go on the same no matter who is in charge. They don't have anything to lose while it is Sun Quan who has everything to lose. Furthermore, Lu Su warns Sun Quan that if he does surrender he'll just end up tucked away with the useless Han Emperor and the useless Liu Cong. He compares it to a birdcage, and three birds in a cage is very crowded. Very wise, Lu Su. I like you. Much better than that blowhard, Zhuge Liang.
After some rest, Zhuge Liang is brought in to the court. Zhang Zhao starts running his mouth. He's one of those people who smiles all friendly while gently insulting you over and over. His main point is how Liu Bei used to be a formidable warrior and statesman, but ever since he's been listening to Zhuge Liang's advice, he's lost everything and is on the run from Cao Cao. Umm, he's right, ya know.
Zhuge Liang counters with the retelling of how Liu Bei, outnumbered 5 to 1 by Cao Cao, was able to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat at The Battle That Happened Off Screen. Plus Liu Bei was magnanimous enough to refuse to abandon his peasants as they all fled for Jiangxia.
Next up is another courtier to try his hand at putting Liu Bei down. Zhuge Liang brags about how at least his master is not afraid to fight, unlike some other people who are scaredy cats *cough* allyoupeopleintheroom *cough*
Zhuge Liang continues to work his way down the room, counterattacking every argument thrown at him. Finally old man Huang Gai comes in and basically tells everyone to shut their traps, its time to meet Sun Quan.
Before meeting his master, Lu Su asks Zhuge Liang to not ever never ever no way no how mention how big Cao Cao's army is. He asks this at least three times. So naturally the very first thing Sun Quan asks is how big is Cao Cao's army and naturally Zhuge Liang tells him one million. Way to go, Zhuge.
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