Still no sign of Ruby Lin.
That old hack, Cai Mao, shuffles his way right over to pay his respects to Cao Cao. The Prime Minister showers him with rewards. Xun Yu, who is looking a lot more grayer since last we saw him, points out what I just said (Cai Mao is an old hack) and shouldn't be put in charge of the navy. Cao Cao is worried about Zhou Yu's powerful navy, and hack or not, Cai Mao has naval experience. (He does? When? When was that even mentioned?)
Next up for an audience is Liu Cong, the useless son who turned the province over to Cao Cao. The Prime Minister asks about the resources Jing Province has. Liu Cong proudly lists all the supplies, men and money they have. Cao Cao yells, "If you had all that, why did you surrender without a fight?! Huh?" Liu Cong just stands there like a deer caught in the headlights (once headlights are invented.)
Cao Cao now decides to send Liu Cong to Xuchang so he can shack up with that other useless fellow, the Han Emperor. Liu Cong whines about how Cao Cao had promised the young man could remain the Inspector of Jing Province. Cao Cao explains he'll still get to keep the title, just do his job from afar in Xuchang. He's altering the deal, boy. Pray he doesn't alter it any further.
Our next guest is Cao Ren, come to report more about that battle we didn't get to see from the last episode. Liu Bei and his men, as well as all the townspeople, are retreating to Jiangxia. Cao Cao plans to race there and take care of that pesky Liu Bei once and for all. (Yeah, we've heard that before.)
Zhao Yun is going against the flow of fleeing civilians when his Spidey senses start to tingle. A group of these refugees are mighty suspicious. He orders them to halt. The men pull out hidden weapons and attack. Alright, an action scene! Of course, Zhao Yun being Zhao Yun, he easily slaughters the group without breaking a sweat.
He had come back to check on Liu Bei's wives. I see at least one of them running around in the dust, calling out for Zhao Yun. Just then some of Cao Cao's cavalry reach her and are about to cut her down. Here comes Zhao Yun to the rescue. You have to see this to believe it. He grabs the bridle of the enemy's horse and flips man and beast head over hooves. Seriously! One handed. He just flips them right over.
He reaches the dusty wife. She's either Lady Can or Lady Gan. Anyway, she's okay, but the other wife, Lady Mi, and Liu Bei's infant son were separated from the group during the chaos. There's no time to search for them as more of the enemy are riding up. Zhao Yun must hold them off alone, which for a man who just flipped a horse, that shouldn't be any problem.
One of the enemy, Xiahou En, is wielding the Blue Blade sword, a match for a horse flipping man. Too bad he doesn't know what he's doing. Zhao Yun easily takes the sword away and swears to use it one day to decapitate Cao Cao. Zhao Yun goes on to kick ass and look for the other missing wife. He finds her (and I use the term "her" very loosely. Still looks like a man in drag) in a burning village. Fearing she'll only slow them down, she wants Zhao Yun to take the baby and flee on his horse. He doesn't want to leave her behind.
Suddenly the enemy attack. He runs forward and... oh no, he just cut off that horse's leg! And he did another one! Zhao, sometimes I like you, sometimes you're a poster boy for PETA. While he takes on the mob, getting injured during the melee, he yells for Lady Mi to get on the horse. Get on the damn horse, woman! Er, man. Er, whatever. But does she? Nooooo.
Instead she lays the baby on the ground and throws herself down a well.
What. The. Hell.
Zhao Yun continues fighting until everyone is dead. He ties the baby to his chest and starts to ride back. The only thing between him and Liu Bei is, well, Cao Cao's army. Zhao Yun (and his heroic horse that deserves some credit) boldly leap into the middle of the enemy and start slashing, thrashing, and hitting. Don't forget, this is all with a baby tied to his chest. It's Lone Wolf and Cub, Chinese style.
Cao Cao, enjoying his mid-morning snack, is watching all this from afar and wonders who this lone warrior is. Impressed with Zhao Yun's bravery, Cao Cao orders him taken alive. Oh no, the valiant horse is down! Zhao Yun and baby are having to fight on foot. Oh dear, I think I'm hearing cartoon sound effects. Yep, I'm hearing cartoon sound effects. Bad Show. Bad.
Seeing that his men are being wiped out because they're trying to take Zhao Yun alive, Cao Cao goes ahead and rescinds his order. It happens to quickly I'm not 100% sure but I believe the baby receives a blow to the head. Zhao Yun and the baby are tossed way up in the air, the soldiers below getting their spears ready for the return.
But wait! Valiant Horse is back up! Hell ya! The horse shoulders its way through the enemy and catches Zhao Yun before he hits the ground. Horse, Hero, and child make their escape. They reach a bridge where Zhang Fei and his men are waiting. (Zhang Fei says he saw everything. So why didn't you go over there and help him, Loud Mouth?!?) Zhang Fei stays behind to hold the army off.
An exhausted and bloody Zhao Yun kneels before Liu Bei and returns his infant son. Liu Bei takes the bundle of joy and... THROWS THE BABY TO THE GROUND!
What. The. Hell.
Liu Bei fusses at Zhao Yun for putting himself in so much danger and going to all that trouble just for a baby.
What. The. Hell.
Cao Cao, remembering Guan Yu told him about Zhang Fei, orders his men to retreat from the bridge. Liu Bei's people make it to the rendezvous point where they were expecting Liu Qi's troops, but no one is there. Looks like it's a good day to die. Liu Bei rallies his remaining men to fight to the very end.
Hark! Here come the CGI ships of Liu Qi coming down the CGI river. Liu Bei will live to not fight another day.
Show, I was all set to forgive you for not showing a battle scene during Episode 35. But then you go and throw the baby on the ground! That one moment simply ruined everything.
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