Ghost Episode 1

There have been a slew of new dramas airing this week. Great news. Hopefully I'll find one worth my time. Let's start with Ghost.

The press are covering the apparent suicide of celebrity Shin Hyo Jeong. She supposedly tweeted a suicide message and then jumped from a high rise building. The reason for her death may have been her name linked with a recent sex scandal.

Days earlier we see Kim Woo Hyun, played by So Ji Sub - the saddest looking man I've ever seen. Why so glum, Ji Sub? Woo Hyun is on stage about to give a lecture to a large group of what appears to me to be police cadets. First thing's first, though. Woo Hyun asks which student here has the phone number that ends with 2407. When the timid guy acknowledges his number, Woo Hyun explains why everyone must listen to this "bull shit lecture" about cyber-investigation on such a pretty day, proving that Woo Hyun just hacked into timid guy's phone messages.

Woo Hyun goes on to describe, for example, an illegal online gambling sight. People here in Korea are losing their shirts because they suck at gambling. The server on which the games are played are really in Japan, which looks to be absolutely covered in advertisements all over their buildings. (Does Japan really look like that?) The database server with all the important financial information is in Hong Kong. The best way to take this whole works down is to bust everyone everywhere on the same day. You have to surprise them before they're able to damage the hard drive or all the evidence is lost. (You getting this, future cyber criminals?)

Woo Hyun and his squad, all armed and dangerous, burst into the Hong Kong branch and start splitting heads. Who knew the life of a hacker could be so violent. Unfortunately, the cyber criminals were a step ahead and had set off a self-destruct program on their servers. Oh no, it's the Blue Screen of Death! Woo Hyun desperately tries to save something but it is too late. Then on one of the screens all the zeros and ones come together to form the letter H. Woo Hyun recognizes this symbol. It stands for Hades, someone he's butted heads with before.

The team is being reamed by their director (Jang Hyun Sung - the bad vampire from Vampire Prosecutor) for their failure. He throws a mouse across the room. Woo Hyun walks in just then and reams out the director for touching the computers. (Not only is Ji Sub so sad, he speaks in nothing but monotone. How is this guy an actor?) To make the director's day even worse, the head of the department comes in and tells the director to calm down. Poor picked on director.

Woo Hyun has a meeting with his team as they go over the servers Hades has used in the past. One of the team members holds up something with the letters NPAC on it and all I can think of is the Niswonger Performing Arts Center. No really, it's some kind of new reverse IP tracker. They go around and install these thingies at the sites where Hades hacked previously, believing that old adage that the criminal always returns to the scene of the crime.

Sad Woo Hyun and female team member Yoo Kang Mi discuss Hades over coffee. Turns out Hades has been tapping into police departments and even the Blue House and revealing classified information to the world. It's Wikileaks! Julian Assange is Hades!

As innocent Koreans lose their ability to communicate with each other face to face except through texting, rising star Shin Hyo Jeong wakes up and takes a picture of herself without makeup, tweeting it for her fans to see. One fan appears to be that perennial nutjob, actor Kim Sung Oh. (I'm not putting him down, but whenever you see him in a drama or movie, you're pretty sure he'll be playing a nutjob.) Then the rumors about a sex scandal start to spread about the young actress and Kim Sung Oh looks very disturbed.

That night there's a break for our cyber team as one of their NPAC thingies detect Hades. In a darkened stairwell we see a man with no life tapping away on his laptop. A picture of Shin Hyo Jeong comes up on his screen. We go to Hyo Jeong's awesome apartment which is decorated with huge pictures of herself. Aww, she looks upset as she gets on her laptop and logs into her Twitter account. Ah, now I see. Man With No Life is watching her through his laptop hacked into hers. He also has access to her Twitter account.

People everywhere who are looking at their phones instead of the person beside them see the message that Hyo Jeong just wants to die. Kim Sung Oh is crushed. Meanwhile Sad Sack Woo Hyun and Kang Mi drive to the place identified as where Hades' signal is coming from. It's Hyo Jeong's apartment building. As the two officers start towards the building, Hyo Jeong comes out to meet them the hard way - through the glass roof. Woo Hyun shows no emotional reaction.

The next morning (it's daylight already. What took the police so long to investigate?) the cyber team is taking pictures and some idiot starts hitting on Kang Mi. 'Cause everyone knows a police investigation into a suicide is the perfect time to score a date. Kang Mi asks who is in charge of this investigation. When she learns it is Chief Kwon Hyuk Joo she doesn't look pleased. Several years ago she had worked under the Chief and she had messed up bad, a fact the Chief likes to remind her of when he shows up. Zombie Woo Hyun and the Chief butt heads over evidence collection. Woo Hyun wins by boring the Chief to death.

I'm also bored to death. This is only twenty minutes into the show, yet it feels like twenty hours. So Ji Sub is absolutely terrible! Madonna has better acting chops than this guy, and that's saying quite a bit.

Three Kingdoms Episode 11

The wolves are gathering around Xuzhou. Cao Cao wants to attack in revenge of his father's murder (although he doesn't appear to be all that upset. Cao's had his eye on Xu Province for some time. Now he's been handed on a silver platter an excuse to attack). But the other warlords, like Yuan Shao and his brother, also want Xu for themselves and may join in the fight to prevent Cao Cao from succeeding.

Cao Cao and his men surround the city walls. Meanwhile, old man Tao Qian's son is out desperately looking for allies. The search is not going very well until finally Liu Bei, He Who Will Not Look You In The Eye, agrees to come to their aid. He brings with him Zhao Yun, a warrior said to be equal to Lu Bu.

Cao Cao's army begins their attack on the city, so at least we get some battle scenes. Suddenly from the left comes riding Zhao Yun and his troops coming to reinforce the city. Riding on horseback, Zhao stabs this guy through the chest with his spear. Without missing a beat, as Zhao rides past he grabs the bloody end of the spear sticking out of the guy's back and pulls it out. Zhao continues to kick ass like nobody's business, practically taking on Cao Cao's army single-handedly. Even his horse gets a couple of kills in. Now here come the Three Musketeers to join in on the slicing and the dicing. Cao Cao is forced to retreat. After the battle, old man Tao tries to thank Liu Bei by basically giving over the much coveted Xu Province to him, but Liu Bei respectfully refuses.

Can Love Become Money? Episode 1

Still looking for something worthy to watch. I vaguely recall hearing about this show. Look, there's  Uhm Ji Won who was in Sign and The Woman Who Still Wants To Marry, dramas I liked. Also, there's Yeon Jung Hoon from Vampire Prosecutor, another show I liked. Let's see if they can hold my attention.

Uhm Ji Won's character, Yoon Da Ran, narrates her poor and tragic life. As a little girl she watches as her home is repossessed. (And when Koreans repo, they repo everything! I bet there's a little red sticker on the roll of toilet paper in the bathroom, they're that thorough.) When she's eighteen her mother dies from ill health caused by poverty. At the sad little funeral for mom, Da Ran and her father are the only ones who are there to mourn. What they don't notice is right next door is another sad little funeral, this one has only a solitary boy to do the mourning. Later Da Ran runs to a roof (like all DramaKoreans do) and cries out for her mother. Again she doesn't notice that just one floor below her is that lonely young boy.

Time leap forward (I'm not sure how many years) and there is a splashy awards ceremony going on. Limos, cameras, screaming fans and random white people galore. Is it the Korean Oscars? No, it's an awards program for businesspeople, because businesspeople warrant screaming fans. The lonely little boy is now the grown up Ma In Tak (Yeon Jung Hoon), the winner of the solid gold award for best businessman. What's up with that hair, In Tak?

After the awards show there is a press interview with the winner. Look, In Tak is wearing socks! He's the only man in Korea who wears socks! In Tak is sitting on a couch with an admittedly attractive female reporter who is flirting like crazy with him. Suddenly her ass catches his attention. No, not her ass. It's a thread! In Tak goes ape-shit on his assistant because there's a thread on the couch. Somebody has some serious OCD issues. Or is that anal retentive issues? Whatever, the boy ain't right.

Grown-up Da Ran is working in a department store. She comes into work to see a woman trying to return a well-used bra. Da Ran recognizes her as an old school mate. The woman wants to return the bra because it isn't comfortable anymore. Da Ran guesses that the reason it isn't comfortable anymore is because the woman had her boobs done. The customer slaps Da Ran hard. Da Ran can't react because of that old axiom of the customer is always right. But then she gets a phone call that changes everything. Her boyfriend just passed the bar exam. That means Da Ran doesn't have to work at this store any more, which means she doesn't have to put up with this woman's shit any more. She shoves the used bra back at the woman, saying the customer can have all the plastic surgery she can afford but she'll never be a natural beauty like Da Ran. Go, Da Ran, Go.

There's a quick shot of Ji Won's Woman Who Wants To Marry co-star, Wang Bit Na, as she and Da Ran politely struggle over an ugly orange purse. (Nobody said high fashion was pretty.) Da Ran wins the tug of war and treats herself to an expensive ugly purse.

In Tak is trying out a new chauffeur today. He tells the man if he can get them to a certain building within twenty minutes, In Tak will give him a huge tip. The man drives like a maniac, weaving in and out of traffic. In Tak is holding on for dear life in the back seat. (Put your seat belt on, In Tak. You can wear socks but you can't wear a seat belt?) They arrive at the designated building with a few minutes to spare. In Tak gives the big tip as promised, but he also fires the chauffeur. What the hey, man? You're the one who wanted to get somewhere fast. You've got issues.

Inside the building In Tak is having a legal meeting including his uncle and aunt. As per Korean Drama Law, the dead rich grandmother has made a wacky will. She's left everything to In Tak's uncle and In Tak's wife. That is, if In Tak had a wife. No one can touch the inheritance until In Tak gets married. However, if he's still single by this time next year, everything will go to charity. Understandably, In Tak's uncle and aunt are urging him to quickly marry. Understandably, In Tak plans to remain single. Oh you crazy dead rich Korean grandmothers.

Da Ran and her boyfriend, U Suk, are at a restaurant having dinner. There's that ugly orange bag. U Suk slips a ring on her finger and asks her to marry him. Da Ran excitedly agrees, then worries that perhaps she's not good enough to be a prosecutor's wife. Her boyfriend replies that maybe she can continue her studies in fine art. Da Ran looks a little panicked at this. We flash back to when Da Ran and U Suk first met in an art gallery. He thought she was the painter of the artwork she was standing in front of at the time. What she didn't rush to tell him was she only worked at the art gallery and was cleaning the work. Ah, so Da Ran is a bit of a liar.

In the background we see In Tak enter. To shut his uncle and aunt up, at least for awhile, he agrees to a blind date they've set him up on. It isn't that blind as In Tak pulls out a folder and starts reading off intimate details of the woman's life: a list of boyfriends, a list of plastic surgeries, etc. The woman gets upset and makes a scene, drawing everyone's attention, including Da Ran. Da Ran feels a disturbance in the Force (is she psychic?) and automatically sides with the unknown woman against In Tak. Just look at him. He's obviously evil. Must be the socks.

In Tak's uncle (I have yet to catch his name) is talking to In Tak's assistant. Not the one In Tak went ape-shit on about the thread. He had a female one as well and she seems to be the only person who can halfway stand up to In Tak and his issues. Anyway, Unnamed Uncle and Unnamed Assistant are working together behind the scenes to get In Tak married.

Da Ran is meeting with her father. (Is that the Carpenters playing the in background??) She's on a mission to clean her old man up and make him presentable to U Suk's parents. They both collaborate on creating a successful back story for Dad, like he's a founder of a small business or something. Dad really wants to help his daughter out so later he's talking to some investment guy. The young man is trying to talk Dad into sinking his savings into a diamond mind in Africa. To sweeten the pot the investment guy tells Dad that the uber-successful Ma In Tak just that morning bought into the same company. Don't believe him, Dad!

Finally we get back to Wang Bit Na. Her character's name is Hong Mi Mi and she's an actress. She's out on location expecting to work, only to learn that the producers have cast someone else in her role. She begs the director to put her back in the picture. He gets all dirty-old-man on her and expects some kind of compensation if he does put her back in.

Mi Mi goes off to have a good cry. (I'm not used to seeing her like this. She was so strong and fierce in Woman Who Wants To Marry.) A man comes over to her and offers her a handkerchief. This is Kim Sun Woo, who saw what happened between Mi Mi and the director. Mi Mi knows Sun Woo and wonders why he's come looking for her after ten years. Sun Woo shows her a magazine with In Tak on the cover. Is this guy some kind of con artist? (Mi Mi, take off that damn purple yak fur coat!)

Sun Woo certainly seems to be prepping Mi Mi. She's going to be at a movie conference in a hotel on Jeju Island. In Tak will be there as in investor.

This is also where Da Ran and her dad are supposed to be meeting U Suk and his parents. But both men have been delayed so Da Ran has gone on ahead alone. At the airport, Da Ran and In Tak are waiting for cabs. He's got dark glasses on and has a Dalmatian with him. Da Ran just glances at him, not recognizing him as the guy from restaurant. Does she think he's blind? What's with the dog?

Mi Mi sends a message to In Tak asking to meet him, it is very important. He agrees to give her only ten minutes. Meet him at the coffee shop on the 11th floor. Da Ran's dad finally arrives and he gets on the same elevator as In Tak. Dad recognizes him and greets him like an old friend, saying he just sank all his savings into the same diamond mind In Tak did. In Tak motions to a small television in the elevator which is showing the offices of the scam artist Dad had visited. Looks like they're being raided by the ROK Feds. Dad looks apoplectic.

In Tak meets with Mi Mi, who asks if he recognizes her. All he can think of is a really trashy movie he saw her in years before. He starts to get up and leave when she hurriedly says, "I'm Hong Mi Sun." He seems momentarily stunned by this announcement, but then replies there are millions of Hong Mi Suns in Korea. He's not interested in Mi Mi/Mi Sun. The ten minutes he allotted her are up and he leaves. (Who Hong Mi Sun is/was is not explained, at least in this episode.)

Da Ran is waiting in a private dining room where everybody is supposed to be meeting but no one is showing up. Wait, someone did shows up. Some shady looking fellows walk in. (OMG, somebody get that one kid a barber. He can't see anything for his hair. Oh hey, there's Yoon Yong Hyun from Giant and History of the Salaryman.) They're all loan sharks and they're looking for U Suk. Whadya know, Da Ran isn't the only one in the relationship who was lying. U Suk has taken off for parts unknown and now the loan sharks expect Da Ran to pay back all he owes, plus interest, or else she and her dad are doomed.

What an odd little show.

Gyebaek Episode 3

Still nothing better has come along so I continue to kill time with Gyebaek.

So Mu Jin -- hold on, gotta go check how dinner is coming along -- so Mu Jin and his pregnant wife jump off the cliff and into the water below. The bad guys do what stupid bad guys always do: assume they're dead. Who needs bodies as proof? We can't see them, ergo they must be dead. Mu Jin and wife (yes, I'm sure she has a name, I just don't think she's important enough to learn it) make it to land. The pregnant wife who just jumped off a cliff appears to be in better shape than her husband.

Soldiers have returned the queen's body to the palace but there's no sign of Uija. The head soldier has already gotten his orders from the prime minister: he's to find the body of the prince and report the boy was killed by Mu Jin. Like the king's gonna believe that? Uija has left his hidey hole and stolen some clothes from stupid peasants who are always leaving their clothes outside so some protagonist can steal them. As if he wasn't having a hard enough time as it is, it starts to rain. As he seeks shelter, Uija remembers that bloody note his mother slipped him. It's time to see what it says. She advises her son that if anything happens (like, you know, his mother slitting her own throat kind of stuff), he should put on a disguise and not trust anyone, not even the king. That's pretty bad when you can't even count on your own father to keep you alive. Still, Uija manages to get back to the palace. The king is tearfully pleased he has his son back, but the prince is in no forgiving mood. Dad wasn't able to protect the queen or his son so what good is he?

Meanwhile, Mu Jin and his wife have made it to somebody's house. Who are these people? Where are they? The wife is in hard labor and Mu Jin's wound to his arm is looking pretty bad. Gyebaek is finally born, but Moma dies. I'm sure it isn't because of all the horseback riding and jumping off cliffs.

The Korean Drama Laws move us forward fourteen years. Here is another Seondeok refugee, I see. Oh no, poor Mu Jin has become a one-armed drunk. He also seems to have re-married, as Gyebaek has a step brother, Mun Geun. Gyebaek is kinda sweet on an uppity girl named Eun Go (another Seondeok alumni) who really needs a punch in the mouth. Gyebaek gets into a fight with a bunch of boys who chase him into a bamboo forest. Here the show gives us an early glimpse of how Gyebaek uses traps to survive against superior numbers.

Now it's time to check up on Prince Uija. He's decided the best way to survive these past years is to act like a buffoon and a suck up. A prince has gotta do what a prince has gotta do. Mishil-lite -- oh wait, I mean Queen Mishil-lite isn't entirely buying the act.

Oh no, one-armed drunk Mu Jin has become an assassin for hire. He's using Excalibur for evil.

Finally, Prince Uija has gone hunting with his half-brother, Kyoki the Bunny Slayer. Kyoki's arrow sure looks like it's aimed at his brother.

And scene.

JIN Episode 3

Gosh, I'm hungry. Is Fashion King really that bad?

Still in the quarantined part of town, Jin has a sort of class with Ogata Kouan and his medical staff about treating cholera. To his relief, Jin learns that Ogata can get rubber tubes brought up from Nagasaki (where there is a Western medicine school). Jin shows them a hypodermic needle and asks if it can be copied. Ogata believes it can be done. Since he's on a roll, Jin decides to draw a picture of an IV unit (amazing the people with his ink pen as well) and gives it to Ogata to have it made as well. While they're discussing all this, they don't see a determined Saki cross the barrier into the quarantine area.

Then I have a fight with my video feed.

When he finds her nursing an uncooperative patient, Jin tries to order her back home. Saki tells him her mother has disinherited her and she has no home to go to, but even if she did she would not leave. (And again we get that very unnecessary audio of people having diarrhea.)

Saki isn't the only one sticking around to help. Sakimoto Ryoma and some of the local boys are all pitching in to dig holes to bury the contaminated crap in. Well, somebody's gotta do it.

Ogata's craftsmen are quite successful at creating Jin's equipment. He gives a lesson to Ogata and Saki on how to hook someone up to an IV. Little Kiichi is looking bad (thumbs up to the makeup artists on this show) so he gets to be the first guinea pig. Ogata goes to his bosses and begs them to use this new way of treatment in other stricken areas. Meanwhile, Katsu Rintaro is trying to figure out a way to make this epidemic work for him.

Some time later we get the joy of seeing Kiichi and another male patient pissing out the back door. They're cured! (Couldn't they have just said they were cured instead of making us watch them pee?) Tachibana comes to inform his sister and Jin about the government's decision to initiate the new kind of cholera treatment all over the afflicted areas. Everyone is joyous.

Oh no! Jin suddenly doubles over. He's got the cholera! Now Saki must take care of Sensei. Tachibana returns with new medical supplies and suggests to his sister that she go home and get some rest. Before she can answer, Moma T arrives and declares Saki can't go home. She can't leave in the middle of a battle. Saki must stay and win this fight, then all of them (including Jin) can go home. (Oh, Moma T! You're Korean counterpart is just too wimpy compared to you. You deserve better.) 

As Jin is puking his guts up he hears a disembodied voice say, "Return to that world." We get a flash of Creepy Baby in a Jar (with its eyes open! Ah!) and modern Tokyo. Is the time portal about to reopen? Jin falls unconscious and has a dream/vision/near death experience. He's back in the present on the roof of his hospital. He sees his girlfriend, Miki, who tells him, "We'll meet again someday."

Saki is standing over Jin's body, begging him to come back. She starts to cry and as a tear lands on Jin's face he awakens.

Time passes and Jin, as well as Edo, recovers. Ogata Kouan asks Jin to help teach at medical school.

Then, since we're near the end of the episode and need a cliffhanger, tragedy ensues. Kiichi's mother is killed by a samurai who just wanted to test the sharpness of his sword. Jin runs to comfort Kiichi, looking like he's strangling the child. (Dude, ease up on the back hug.) Kiichi wonders aloud if it wouldn't have been better if the doctor hadn't saved his life.

Jin and Saki go to his favorite hang-out so he can cry and wonder about life, the universe, and everything. He tells Saki he's from the future but I can't tell if she fully believes him or not. He was so worried about changing the future. But what if all the people he saves today simply die another way tomorrow, like Final Destination. Why is he here? Saki assures Jin that he has at least changed her destiny. She feels more alive than ever. Jin cries some more. (This actor is what I call an Ugly Crier. Some men can cry and still look handsome. Some men can cry and screw their faces up in ugly contortions. The absolute worst are the ones who have snot coming out of their noses. I can't stand that. But I digress.)

After his good cry, Jin returns home (the Tachibana home) and decides to live life the best he can here in Edo. He writes to Ogata Kouan that he will take the teaching position at the school. Elsewhere, Sakimoto goes to Katsu, the man he's supposed to assassinate, and instead begs for Katsu to take him on as a disciple. Lastly, Nokaze continues to gaze into her kaleidoscope. Do you have nothing better to do?

Three Kingdoms Episode 9

With great fanfare Diaochan is escorted to the palace. Teary-eyed Lu Bu and Diaochan can only silently look at each other as they pass in the street. (Off topic, the actress looks fabulous in red.) Of course she isn't taken to the imperial palace but to Dong Zhuo's palace instead. He's all touchy feely. (Ack, my skin! How it crawls!) Diaochan manages to make excuses to get away from him for a moment. She starts to kill herself but the pleas of her father to save the Han come to her mind and she stops.

The next morning old man Wang finds a despondent Lu Bu sitting outside the imperial palace. Wang asks what the young man is doing here. Lu Bu says he was hoping to see Diaochan. This is when Wang breaks it to Lu Bu that Diaochan isn't here, she was taken to Dong Zhuo's house, his bed. Lu Bu can't believe his adopted father would do such a thing to him. Really, Lu Bu? You have no clue by now what kind of man Dong Zhuo is? Are you that thick? Wang uses his wiles to get the young man worked up into a frenzy. Lu Bu stomps off to Dong Zhuo's home, coming into the sleeping area just in time to see Diaochan getting up from the grizzly man's bed. (My skin! The Crawling!)

Out in the courtyard Lu Bu runs into that suck-up, Li Ru, who asks what is the problem. Lu Bu spills his painful story. Worried, Li Ru goes to Dong Zhuo and advises him to give Diaochan to Lu Bu in order to keep the general's loyalty. Otherwise Lu Bu may rebel or go join Yuan Shao. Dong Zhuo goes to Diaochan and tells her he's going to give her to Lu Bu. However, that would spoil Wang's plans. Diaochan manages to work up some tears, asking why Dong Zhuo no longer wants her. She doesn't want to go to Lu Bu. What, is Dong Zhuo afraid of Lu Bu? If this got out, that Dong Zhuo feared his adopted son and greatest general, what would the people think? Ah, smart girl. So smart. And so able to bear sitting on that creepy guy's knee. I salute you, Diaochan. Dong Zhuo therefore changes his mind and decides to keep the girl.

During court we catch word that Cao Cao's military strength is growing while Yuan Shao loses another ally. Also, there's a famine going on. While Dong Zhuo is busy with official business, Lu Bu sneaks away to find Diaochan. She tells him now that she's able to see him one last time she can finally kill herself and end this shame. Lu Bu begs her not to kill herself. He will come and take her away, just give him some time to come up with a plan. It is at this time that Dong Zhuo comes home and finds the young couple in an embrace. Dong Zhuo chases Lu Bu off. What's your plan, Lu Bu? Get the fat old man to die of a heart attack while chasing you?

Dong Zhuo goes back to Diaochan, who has ripped her clothes and made herself cry. She gives the story that basically Lu Bu was attacking her. Dong Zhuo totally believes this and vows to punish his villainous son. About this time old man Wang shows up. He pulls Dong Zhuo aside and practically gives the same speech Li Ru did earlier; that Dong Zhuo should give the girl to Lu Bu to keep the general's loyalty. Wang goes to tell his daughter he's taking her to Lu Bu's place. With Dong Zhuo watching, Diaochan refuses to go and instead slams her head into a stone pillar. They do that a lot in Chinese dramas, I find.

JIN Episode 2

This episode should be much shorter than the first one which lasted for a millennium.

Jin learns that the samurai he met earlier and thought looked so familiar is the legendary Sakimoto Ryoma. I'm not up on my Japanese history so I had to Wiki him. He's the (future) leader of the movement to overthrow the shogunate. Right now, though, he's just ambling around Edo. Jin wonders to himself if Sakimoto is Father of Creepy Baby in a Jar who somehow time traveled forward to 2009. (At this point I still think it is Jin himself. How would Sakimoto know what to pack in a medical kit?)

A cholera outbreak begins.

Sakimoto has a meeting with some other samurais who want to kill Battleship Magistrate Officer Katsu Rintaro. Sakimoto eagerly volunteers to join in on the assassination. That night as he's walking along the streets, Sakimoto comes to the rescue of an old man. The guy turns out to be the owner of an expensive brothel. As a thank you for saving his life, the man offers Sakimoto one of the ladies. He ain't turning the offer down. It is here that Sakimoto spies Nokaze (who isn't walking oddly like she did in the last episode. What was up with that??)

Next morning Saki is asking Jin technical questions. She's wanting to be his assistant and learn all she can. Mama T breaks up their lesson. She asks Jin why doesn't he get his head shaved and look like a respectable person. It's just a suggestion. (And you know what it means when a mother makes a "suggestion.") As Jin goes on a stroll through nature he starts to worry that he shouldn't be practicing medicine in this time period. What if he saves the life of someone who was meant to die, messing up the future?

When Jin returns to the Tachibana household it is to find he has some visitors. Ogata Kouan, a Japanese doctor who has studied Dutch (Western) medicine, has heard about Jin's medical skills and has come to ask if Jin knows how to cure cholera. Our boy is feeling conflicted and cops out, saying he doesn't know the cure.

Jin and Saki go to check up on the woman he operated on in the first episode. She's doing fine, but her cute little boy, Kiichi, suddenly comes down with cholera. His mother begs the doctor to help him, but again Jin denies knowing what to do and tries to duck out. Saki, who looks like she suspects Jin does know what to do, refuses to abandon the boy. She confronts Jin, asking what possible reason could there be for a doctor to allow a young child to suffer? You go, Saki! Use the Power of Shame.

Saki's superpowers work and Jin advises the neighbors on preventative measures and basic sanitation. Jin plans to stay with Kiichi, who has been put into quarantine. Saki wants to stay as well but Jin orders her away, gently reminding her to think about her mother. Saki reluctantly returns home but is feeling useless. She wants to be actively fighting against the cholera. Saki starts to leave when the formidable Mama T stops her, threatening that if her daughter leaves this house she'll never enter it again. Saki defiantly states she will go fight in the memory of her father and rushes past her mother. Saki! Saki! Saki!

With the help of the neighborhood making homemade ORT's (oral rehydration therapy - sugar and salt solutions), Jin works himself ragged to treat Kiichi as well as other new patients in the quarantine area. Saki has gone to beg Ogata Kouan to come help Jin.

Tachibana is on his way to check up on his sister when he stumbles upon Sakimoto and his co-hort starting to attack Katsu. I'm sure this isn't good, but when Tachibana starts to cry out a warning he suddenly grabs his head on the side where Jin had operated last time. Just as the co-hort is about to slice his victim, Sakimoto trips the man up. Co-hort (I'm too lazy to go back and find out what his character's name is) realizes that Sakimoto never intended to kill Katsu and turns on his former partner. But again, just as he's about to slice, he gets a case of the squirts. (With unfortunate sound effects. I don't wanna hear it!) It's the dreaded cholera. Tachibana is about to draw his own sword and execute the man when Sakimoto has the gall to ask for a doctor. Tachibana waffles for a moment before he finally puts his sword away and tells them where to find Jin.

Jin is about to collapse from exhaustion when Ogata and his medical staff show up. However, since Jin lied to him earlier about not knowing how to treat cholera, Ogata needs his trust to be regained. Suddenly one of Jin's patients, an old man, dies, making Ogata and his people doubt that Jin knows what he's doing. They all start to leave despite Jin falling to his knees and begging them to stay. Just then one of Ogata's people falls to the ground sick with cholera. None of his fellow doctors will touch him. By now Sakimoto has come upon the scene, his shitty friend on his back. Sakimoto says he sees which doctor won't touch a sick man and which doctor will stay until the bitter end and goes over to Jin, asking for help. This finally gets the old man to unbend and he carries his sick colleague over to Jin as well. Is there anything greater than the Power of Shame?

Revenge Episode 22 Season 1

Reckoning

Emily screams for Daniel. She's made it appear that someone has broken into the house and ransacked the place. Daniel immediately goes to check his briefcase and finds it empty. He asks what did Emily see and she describes the White Haired Man. Daniel goes to New York to tell his father about all the evidence being stolen. Conrad says that isn't the first time the White Haired Man has been in Emily's house. He shows the video of Emily and Daniel sleeping that Emily actually sent him. Conrad calls his security and has them search the Grayson Manor.

Emily takes a hard drive and plugs it up to her laptop. Of course the information is password protected and of course Emily calls Nolan, who isn't answering his phone. She goes over to his house when she sees an incoming call from Jack. She doesn't answer. He leaves a message that he wants to talk about last night. (You know, when they made out over the still warm body of a dead dog. Ick.)

Emily notices Nolan's door is slightly ajar and she cautiously goes inside. On the coffee table is a lap top with a live feed going on. On the screen is a note saying "Call my cell phone or I die." When Emily calls the White Haired Man (WHM from now on) pulls the note aside and we can see poor bloody Nolan handcuffed in the background. Emily tells WHM that Nolan isn't the one he wants, it is her. She wants to settle their business face to face.

She meets WHM and tells him she has the Grayson evidence linking WHM and his associates with terrorists organizations, so take her to Nolan. WHM makes Emily chloroform herself. It is no big surprise when she comes to to find herself chained to the wall next to Nolan. WHM threatens to slice and dice Nolan unless Emily tells him where the evidence is. Its all in a locker at the - darn, I forgot - bus depot, but he'd better hurry. Emily claims she's rigged an email to be sent to the authorities telling everything. He's got one hour.

After he leaves Emily uses her mouth to pull something out of the fabric of her sleeve. Ah, clever. She frees herself and Nolan, telling him where the evidence really is hidden and for him to go and get it to the Feds. She, however, is staying in the dungeon of doom.

At the prep school Declan and Yonkers (I forget her name) run into Charlotte. Charlotte is actually nice to them both. Declan and I both are wondering what she's really up to. Later Charlotte imitates her mother and calls a private investigator, hiring him to learn everything he can about Yonkers, claiming the student is bullying Charlotte.

Jack goes into New York to personally return the $1,000,000 check to Daniel. After he leaves Ashley walks up and hints to Daniel that Jack is no straight and narrow guy. When Daniel asks what she means, Ashley says it involves Emily as well so he should ask her for the full story. Oh Ashley, you bitch.

Nolan leaves the Grayson evidence in the trunk of the SEC agent. Conrad asks Lydia to marry him.

Emily sits patiently with a big silver axe. (Really, Ems? An axe? That's your choice of weapon?) When WHM returns they tussle briefly and she quickly loses the axe. There's more fighting and finally Emily gets him down on the ground. Using the axe she slowly presses it across his throat. Then wouldn't you know it we get one of those annoying flashbacks to her childhood where her beloved father asks his little girl to never lose her pure heart. Back to the present Emily releases WHM and leaves him alive. WTF???????? Boo.

Victoria and the SEC (whoops, that came out SEX the first time) agent discuss the evidence. He informs Victoria that Conrad had hired someone to kill David Clarke in the prison. Emily returns home and Daniel confronts her about kissing Jack. Emily admits she did kiss him and returns her engagement ring.

The WHM goes to Conrad's office to tell him he needs to get out of town since the feds have the evidence. As WHM is walking around the office he picks up the picture frame that Emily has hidden the camera in. She's watching on her laptop. The WHM winks into the camera. Score one for him. See, this is what happens when you leave your enemies alive, Ems.

Charlotte spreads news to the student body that Yonkers once had an affair with her history teacher at her previous school. Declan is disgusted with Charlotte.

Emily goes to see Jack, planning to tell him everything, only to have Amanda - a pregnant Amanda - show up as well. How did she get away from the Japanese guy? Ashley goes to see how Daniel is doing since the breakup. It's obvious she's going to go after him. Oh Ashley, why is your unimportant character still on this show?

Victoria has talked Lydia into flying with her to Washington D.C. on a private plane and testify against Conrad. What no one notices is a white haired man working around the bottom of the plane. I get the feeling Conrad knows what is going to happen to the women and he's okay with it. Finally a decent song is playing during this slo-mo scene. I am just not a real fan of this show's soundtrack. Charlotte, who is feeling guilty over what she did to Yonkers, hears a breaking news report about the plane blowing up and her mother possibly being dead. She tries to reach out to Declan but he curtly orders her to never call him again. In despair, Charlotte OD's.

Nolan, who goes to console Emily over Amanda being back, finds he has to console her as well for the evidence on the plane being blown up. Not so fast. Nolan being Nolan made a back up of the contents on the hard drive. One of the things he found on it was a video from a security camera with Victoria, Conrad and WHM talking. Victoria says she knows the truth about David Clarke's wife, the one who supposedly died in 1990. Emily's mother is really alive. I figured there would be more about her. During the fight between Ems and WHM he complements her fighting skills and says she must have gotten it from her mother, like he knew her.

Three Kingdoms Episode 10

Ten down, eighty-five to go.

Old man Wang comes home to find he has a guest. It's Chen Gongtai. Remember him? He's the one who helped Cao Cao pull such a boner and kill everybody at his uncle's place. Since he and Cao Cao parted ways, Chen has been wandering around seeking for another master to serve. He's not been successful and so has come to Chang'an. Chen has heard about Dong Zhuo and Lu Bu fighting over a beauty and Chen has already figured out Wang is behind all this.

A distraught Lu Bu shows up looking for advice on what to do about the situation. Wang and Chen certainly give him advice as both repeatedly urge him to kill Dong Zhuo. Finally Lu agrees to do it.

Dong Zhuo receives news that the child emperor will abdicate and allow Dong to assume the throne. Lu Bu comes to apologize for his wrong doings. Dong is in such a good mood he easily forgives.

The next day as Dong Zhuo's walking into court, all the ministers are surrounding him and calling him emperor. He's just tickled pink, the old rat bastard. He asks where Minister Wang is. There's old man Wang, up at the top of the steps, with a decree to read. Wang announces that the (child) emperor declares Dong Zhuo a traitor and gives permission for anyone to kill Dong. Suddenly armed men come racing out of the palace. Dong Zhuo shouts for Lu Bu to come to him. Oh, Lu Bu's comin' for ya. Riding up on his Red Hare horse, Lu Bu slams his halberd into the fat belly of Dong Zhuo. Ding Dong the witch is dead.

The young emperor rewards old man Wang with the position of Chancellor (Dong's old position) and gives Lu Bu some military honors. Diaochan is dressed in wedding red (looking absolutely fabulous) but she's worried Lu Bu won't accept her since she's been defiled by Dong Zhuo. Lu Bu re-pledges his love for her. Everything seems to be going well, so I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop.

And here's the other shoe. Now that he's sitting in the big Chancellor's chair, Wang is letting it all go to his head. There are a couple of generals that used to serve Dong Zhuo asking for clemency. Chen Gongtai advises they be forgiven but Wang refuses. When the generals of the Xiliang army hear they haven't been forgiven they decide to attack Chang'an. Who's sorry now, old man Wang?

Wang and the emperor go to the gates to talk to the Xiliang. The rebel generals now declare that Wang is a traitor and killer of innocents. If the emperor turns the old man over to them, and opens the gates of the city, they promise not to harm the emperor. Seeing no alternative, Wang jumps off the wall to his death. (I wasn't expecting him to die so soon.) The gates are opened and the Xiliang come rushing in.

Chen goes running to find Lu Bu (who must live outside of the city) and tells him the emperor has been captured and Wang is dead. Lu Bu's army is too small to take on the rebel army. Chen advises that they head to Jing (wherever that is), take over a city, strengthen their forces, and basically start their own empire. The easily led Lu Bu agrees, as long as he can take Diaochan with him.

Meanwhile, in Xuzhou, Cao Cao's father, Elder Cao, is passing through. The local leader, Tao Qian, knows they need to make nice with the Cao faction so he sends a military escort for Elder Cao. However, this escort decides instead to kill Elder Cao, take all his money, and head for the mountains to become bandits. This doesn't bode well for Xuzhou.

JIN Episode 1

I just watched the first episode of the Korean version of Dr. Jin. Its a bit messy. I kept seeing other comments about how the original Japanese version was so much better. I've only seen one other Japanese show and that was Ouran High School Host Club. Time to try another one.

Brain surgeon Dr. Jin is working the night shift when an unidentified man is brought into the hospital. Scans show he has a brain tumor. Jin gets right to work (and it is just as grossly graphic as the Korean version) and cuts into the man's brain. Surprisingly, the tumor is in the shape of a baby fetus. Yuck. Jin puts the fetus in a jar on a shelf.

Another young doctor and nurse get to have a conversation that tells the audience about the history of Dr. Jin. A few years back he was about to get married to his girlfriend, Tomonaga, when it is discovered she has a brain tumor in a very dangerous place to operate on. Jin is willing to attempt the surgery despite other experts telling him not to. He manages to remove the tumor, but during the surgery he makes a mistake that puts his girlfriend into a vegetative coma. Way to go, Jin.

After a visit with his girlfriend in a coma, Jin goes up to the roof to recall the day before the surgery when he and Tomonaga both expressed their fears about tomorrow. Then we get a shot of the Creepy Baby in a Jar. Then we go see the man Creepy Baby came out of. (Father of Creepy Baby?) He appears to be regaining consciousness. Also, his head is swathed in bandages so we don't get to see what he looks like.

Two men I'm going to assume are police officers ask Dr. Jin about Father of Creepy Baby. The man has no ID on him. All Jin can tell them is the man appears to have been attacked by a sharp metal object (sword, maybe?), he has multiple bruises, and that he had a strange baby tumor in his head. We keep getting shots of Creepy Baby in a Jar. Ah, stop that! Suddenly Jin grabs his own head in pain, then shakes it off.

Later that evening Jin looks like he's trying to get comfortable on a couch. He's talking with another doctor about Creepy Baby and getting a biopsy on it. Other Doctor says Jin could write a paper on it and be a big hit. Jin just laughs it off. Ever since he put his girlfriend in a coma, he's been reluctant to be all that he can be in the medical field. After giving Jin an old picture of Jin and Coma-girl, Other Doctor leaves. There's a quick shot of Creepy Baby. Jin grabs his head. Behind him on the wall there appears a shadow scurrying by. Ah, is Creepy Baby on the loose?!

Dr. Jin goes down to the pathology department where Creepy Baby in a Jar is kept. He's holding the jar up to his face. Suddenly Creepy Baby opens it eyes. OMG! OMG! This is nightmare-inducing! Jin is just as shaken as I am, yet when he looks again, Creepy Baby's eyes are closed. Another doctor comes to tell Jin that Father of Creepy Baby has disappeared. Jin turns the lights out and leaves. We see the shadow again. Oh, it's Daddy who is the shadow from earlier. As everyone starts searching for the missing patient they find evidence that the medicine shelves have been raided.

Jin finds Daddy on the fire escape and tries to get his patient to come inside. That's when he notices that Daddy has a bag of medical supplies and a jar of Creepy Baby. Jin grabs his head again. Daddy says, "I must go back to that world" and tries to get away. Jin and Daddy struggle. Jin manages to get the bag of medical supplies away but Creepy Baby in a Jar goes flying through the air. Jin reaches out to grab it and he starts rolling down the stairs and into a time warp.

When Jin comes to he finds himself on the ground in a forest. Taking a pen light from his pocket he searches around, managing to find the bag of medical supplies, but no Creepy Baby in a Jar. As he looks around he sees torches in the distance and people shouting. Jin starts running towards them, asking for help. When he gets closer he discovers a handful of samurai are sword fighting. Has he stumbled upon a movie set, he wonders. Then he gets splashed with real blood. Nope, this ain't no movie set. That's when the other samurais notice Jin.

They can't have any witnesses so one samurai goes to kill Jin when a good samurai, Tachibana Kyoutaro, saves Jin and tells him to run away. Unfortunately Tachibana receives a head wound. Another samurai starts to slash Jin when Jin flashes on his pen light and scares the samurai. The voices of other people coming scare the bad samurai away. Dr. Jin examines Tachibana, who begs Jin not to let him die or his mother and sister will be thrown out on the streets. The group of men who were coming are (I think) from the Mito clan and know Tachibana. When they see Jin's hospital uniform they assume he some kind of Dutch doctor. Jin orders them to carry Tachibana home. Jin must perform surgery in the next hour or it will be too late.

Once there, Jin and Tachibana's sister, Saki, basically ransack the house looking for tools and stuff to be used for brain surgery. Then Jin starts stripping. Dude! Oh wait, he's just getting out of his bloody clothes and into cleaner, more time-appropriate clothes. Still, you just don't start stripping in front of a girl you just met.

Jin starts unpacking the medical bag to see what he's got to work with. Turns out Daddy of Creepy Baby did a pretty good job. (Just as with the Korean version, I think Daddy Creepy is actually Dr. Jin himself. Of course that means Dr. Jin operated on himself. Whadya mean, Einstein says that's impossible? Screw you.) Saki brings the boiled tools Jin asked for. Basically they're carpenter tools, hammers and chisels and stuff. Just as Jin is about to begin Tachibana's mother storms into the "operating room". She's not 100% on board with this whole surgery thing and warns Jin that if he kills her son she'll kill him. Fine, he says. In return she must never tell anyone what happens in this room. Then we get another long, bloody surgery sequence that I can't watch. Lets just skip over this and get to the part where the surgery is all over and Tachibana is nicely bandaged up.

Jin says Tachibana should recover in three days. (Really? You can recover from brain surgery in three days?) Mama Tachibana is as skeptical as I am and insists that Jin stay for those three days. As Saki is preparing him a room she explains her mother's hostility. Four years ago their father had come down with cholera. They'd gone to a Dutch doctor for treatment but Father died anyway.

The next day Jin tries to make sense of what has happened to him. He learns from Saki that he is in Edo (Tokyo) and the year is 1862. But when the Tachibana family start asking him questions, Jin pretends he fell in the forest and a blow to the head prevents him from remembering some things. Mama Tachibana is not happy with this. Now that her son has regained consciousness and appears to be recovering, she wants to get rid of Jin. As man of the house Tachibana pulls rank and insists Jin is welcomed to stay. Mama T then scolds her son that he was attacked in the first place because he's been hanging out with the wrong kind of people. People who lean more to Western ways and modern ideas. Mama T is not to be messed with.

Geez Louise with cottage cheese, how long is this one episode???

Dr. Jin overhears this conversation and he decides to leave on his own. He returns to the forest where he first appears. If he can find the Creepy Baby in a Jar perhaps that will get him back home. He sees a river nearby and recognizes it as the same river his modern day hospital is built next to. He stands on the edge of a cliff, wondering if he falls again if he'll return to his own time. Suddenly an uncouth samurai tackles Jin to the ground, telling him not to rush to his death. Jin assures the man he wasn't about to commit suicide. Jin asks the man his name because for some reason the samurai seems familiar, but the man is called away. Jin starts to chase after him and ends up in a busy market place.

A young boy is about to be trampled when his heroic mother throws herself in the way, the horse's hoof coming down on her head. Good thing there's a time-traveling brain surgeon nearby. There are going to be soooooo many head injuries in this program. Jin sends for his surgical tools still at the Tachibana house. Saki packs them up and rushes to where Jin is, offering to act his assistant. Unfortunately during her hurried packing she failed to include the anesthesia and to go back and get it would take too long. Looks like the injured woman is just gonna have to bite the bullet.

And then I just skip a bit more because really this episode has gone on too frickin' long! The woman survives her surgery and Mama T has a change of heart and allows Dr. Jin to stay at the Tachibana home. That night as he's looking at the picture of him and his girlfriend he notices something different. The first time she was making a peace sign with her right hand. But now in the picture she's making it with her left.

Meanwhile on the other side of town a man is informing the courtesan Nokaze (who looks like Jin's coma-girl in the future) about a mysterious man in town with miraculous healing powers. Nokaze seems to know more about the situation than she fully reveals at the moment. She's called to the tea house so she and her entourage head out to the red light district. Why is she walking that way? Is that how geishas walk? Other stuff happens but by this time I've totally lost interest because I feel like I've been watching this for six hours. I'm exhausted.

Drunken To Love You Episode 1

I'm still in the process of educating myself about Chinese dramas. I've noticed that usually they are divided into three categories: Mainland, Taiwan, and Hong Kong. I'm trying to learn what the difference between all of them are. I guess up until this point the few Chinese dramas I've watched are under the Mainland category, so I have purposely hunted up something different to try. Not only will Drunken to Love You be my first Taiwan drama, it will be my first Chinese contemporary story. No top knots or aerial sword fights that I know of. Let the adventure begin.

The Chinese really do like their long opening credits to shows. Anyway, from what I understand so far, short-haired modern gal Lin Xiao Ru is planning for a vacation in Las Vegas, hoping that her boyfriend, Yi Xiang, will pop the question there. She's so confident this will happen she's even willing to risk quitting her job at... uh, where does she work and who is this pregnant woman she's talking with on the phone? Hopefully as things go along they'll clear up for me and I'll get a better understanding.

An airline pilot is announcing the plane's descent to Taiwan's airport. Is this Yi Xiang? OMG, somebody get this man some 5 Hour Energy, quick! He sounds like he's about to pass out asleep at the most critical moment. And who is this random white guy sitting next to him?

Another whiplash scene change takes me to a Mont Blanc fashion show at a hotel, with models showing off various pieces of jewelry. From all the "Tiffany!" comments I see at Viki, I take it this lead model is Tiffany Xu, who will be playing Tang Ai Wei. A photographer falls to the runway taking pictures. Is he trying to get a shot up her dress? Tiffany - I mean Ai Wei - aw hell, I'll just call her Tiffany, twirls forcefully, the skirt of her dress knocking the photographer's expensive camera out of his hands. Ok, she's obviously not someone to mess with. (I do hope Yi Xiang is getting some sleep somewhere. Besides the cockpit, I mean.) After the runway portion is over there is a press conference. This is Tiffany's last modeling job. She'll next be moving on to acting in a film. That annoying photographer is asking if she'll do any frontal nude scenes for the movie. I'll give Tiffany's character credit for trying to remain professional during these crass questions. We also learn that the only reason she got the lead role in the film is because the actress previously cast for it ran off to get married and got pregnant. Annoying Photographer asks Tiffany if she would give up her career for marriage. Standing in the back of the crowd is Song Jie Xiu, who is looking longingly at Tiffany. (Jie Xiu is called Xiu Ge by an associate. Xiu Ge sounds to my American ears like "Sugar" which is what I'll call him.)

Sugar gets a phone call from some guy to remind him of a very important meeting with a Miss Shen Hui Qin. He'd better hurry because she's only giving them three minutes of her time. Sugar hurries to the meeting, introducing himself as an architect/designer. Hui Qin likes what she sees, and I don't mean his blueprints. When Sugar starts to sit across from her, she pulls him over to sit next to her on the couch. The sound effects people include a cartoon boing sound as she does this. Within two minutes Hui Qin is sold and gives the job to Sugar. She gladly hands over her house key as well as her car key. These keys may be important to the story later on.

Hui Qin is flirting outrageously with Sugar. Sugar points out the wedding ring (on her index finger?) prevents him from being anything more than her designer. Hui Qin insists the ring is just from a friend and as she struggles to take it off it suddenly comes loose and goes flying across the floor. Just at that moment Xiao Ru is walking by holding a tray with hot coffee on it. (I think she works here at the hotel.) She steps on the ring and falls (again with the cartoon sound effects!) right into Sugar's lap.

Oh dear Lord, I don't know if I can describe what happens next. She's still on her knees when he jumps up. She tries to wipe the hot coffee off his family jewels. The camera angle suddenly switches to the back of her head and it looks like she's.... Then she grabs his legs, shaking him and begging that he not call the manager. Again the camera angle changes to the back of her head vigorously moving... Dear Lord! I thought Asian television was more conservative than this. Sugar gets a text from Tiffany waiting in room 612 and quickly exits. Hui Qin is frustrated. Xiao Ru offers to get the woman something to eat but Hui Qin snaps that the only thing she wanted to eat has just left. Ack! I totally see the difference now between Taiwan and Mainland dramas.

A room service lackey tells Xiao Ru she doesn't feel well and Xiao Ru agrees to take the cart up to room 612. Inside the room Tiffany is telling Sugar she's pregnant. He tells her to get an abortion. Oh my. But wait, he's just helping her with her lines from the movie she'll be doing. Sugar is worried that success will spoil Rock Hunter and Tiffany will fall in love with her leading man. Apparently this is a regular problem in Taiwan. 

Xiao Ru arrives with the room service cart. As she waits for the door to be answered she spies that Annoying Photographer hanging around. She believes he's here to reveal an affair which would be bad publicity for the hotel. When Sugar answers the door, Xiao Ru rams him back with the cart so the Annoying Photographer can't get in. Sugar recognizes Xiao Ru and demands to know what's going on. Xiao Ru says his wife has sent a photographer to get evidence on him. Is that a condom package in Sugar's hand? Whatever it is, Xiao Ru assumes it is a condom and she screams at him to flush the evidence. Flush it!

Tiffany and Sugar try to come up with a plan for her to avoid the paparazzi. She can't have a scandal just when her acting career is getting started. Xiao Ru comes up with a suggestion: she and Tiffany switch clothes. As the Annoying Photographer waits just outside the hotel room, Tiffany (wearing the hotel uniform) backs out, head down, and pushes the cart down one way of the hall. The paparazzi dismisses her. Then right after, Sugar and Xiao Ru (under a sheet) rush out and run down the opposite way. Naturally the paparazzi follows after the suspicious couple. Hmm, pretty clever. And again with cartoon noises. Why??

The photographer catches up to the duo in the stairwell and he yanks the sheet away, only to find Xiao Ru. He isn't fooled, though. He knows Tiffany had been in that room. Even though he didn't get a picture, he's not giving up on the story.

Later, Xiao Ru meets up with that extremely pregnant woman she was talking with earlier. Pregnant woman has a gift for her friend's trip to Las Vegas. It's a boatload of condoms (that pregnant woman obviously didn't bother to use herself.) Another hotel employee comes rushing up to tell Xiao Ru there is a difficult customer out front that only she can handle. It's all planned as Xiao Ru discovers the difficult customer is actually Yi Xiang. Thankfully he sounds well-rested. Xiao Ru is surprised to see him as she expected to meet up with him in Vegas. She sees he's been looking through a travel brochure and has marked a page with a little white chapel. When she asks about it he explains this is the same church his parents got married at and he would very much like to visit it. Xiao Ru immediately thinks to herself that Yi Xiang is going to propose to her in Vegas and they'll get married at this same chapel. They seem like a cute couple together. I wonder how it will all go wrong.

We go back to Sugar at his design office/coffee shop. He and his co-worker are discussing work and how Sugar just can't leave well enough alone and keeps revising and revising. (The sound man on this show appears to be asleep on the job. I could do a better job of micking the actors.) The co-worker doesn't know about Sugar's relationship with Tiffany. Co-worker talks about how difficult it would be to be the boyfriend of Tiffany with all these perverted men drooling over her nude pictures. This starts putting seeds of doubt in Sugar's mind but in the end he stops by a jewelry store and buys the exact same engagement ring Tiffany had been modeling in the show.

As he is walking out, Yi Xiang is walking in. He's here to pick up a ring, so it looks like Xiao Ru's instincts were right. Suddenly the music turns somber. Yi Xiang receives a phone call. We don't get to hear what is being said (because the sound in this show is awful) but from the serious look that comes over him, I take it it is not good news.

I think that's the end of episode 1. It's very confusing how they've got it set up at Viki.

Three Kingdoms Episode 8

Old man Wang looks in much better shape than last time we saw him. Diaochan is doing a graceful dance for her dad and lovestruck Lu Bu. Wang discreetly retires so the two lovebirds can be alone together. Diaochan tells her woeful tale. Her real family were of noble lineage, but were framed for a crime they didn't commit. The entire clan was wiped out with only Diaochan able to get away. Later, old man Wang adopts her as his own, though she still fears if Dong Zhuo finds out the truth about her, he'll have her killed. Lu Bu swears to protect her and asks for her to make him the happiest man on earth.

Lu Bu goes to find Wang and ask for his daughter's hand in marriage. Acting surprised at all this, Wang calls in Diaochan and berates her for trying to rise above her station, she's not worthy of the great Lu Bu. The smitten general leaps to Diaochan's defense. He knows it is the other way around, that he is no worthy match for Diaochan. Still, he would swear by heaven and earth to love, honor and obey her or may the gods strike him down. Wang pretends to think things over and in the end gives his blessing to the couple.

Later that night, after Lu Bu leaves, Wang reveals his plan to his daughter. He wants to present her to Dong Zhuo. Diaochan nearly faints, she's so shocked. Wang reasons that the randy bastard will want Diaochan for himself. This will make Lu Bu crazed with jealousy and he'll kill his adopted father. Diaochan asks the very valid question of how is old man Wang any different from Dong Zhuo in this dispicable plot and she dashes away. Over several days Wang wages a hunger strike in order to blackmail Diaochan into agreeing to his plan. In the end she tearfully gives in.

One day after court old man Wang hangs back and invites Dong Zhuo over to his house to observe the plum blossoms. Oddly enough, Dong Zhuo seems genuinely touched by this invitation. Naturally as he enters Wang's abode he spies Diaochan and she captures his interest. He's certainly making my skin crawl. I don't know how she is keeping a cool face. Diaochan does a little dance for their guest and Dong Zhuo has rivers of drool rolling down his unkempt beard. Dong Zhuo comes up with the idea of Diaochan entering the court and becoming a consort to the child emperor, when we all know it is Dong Zhuo who is diddling all the royal consorts whether they like it or not.

Lu Bu hears about this and he's steaming mad. He storms into Wang manor demanding an explanation. Wang is all, "What can I do? I'm powerless to stop Diaochan from entering the palace. What can I do?" Lu Bu and Diaochan spend a tearful moment together (with dirty old man Wang hanging around outside the window). Diaochan says they were not meant for each other in this lifetime, perhaps they'll have better luck in the next. Lu Bu assures her he won't give up on her.

Lu Bu goes to see Dong Zhuo. Reminding his adopted father of all his military accomplishments, Lu Bu asks for Diaochan as a reward. Dong Zhuo tells him it is too late, if only he had come earlier. Basically all the paperwork is done and she's officially an imperial consort. The ministers would be up in arms if Diaochan were allowed out of her contract. Lu Bu looks devastated. I find myself feeling quite sorry for him at this moment.

Gyebaek Episode 2

Mishil-lite tries to get Mu Jin to come over to her side, using their past relationship as a means to bend him to her will. Mu Jin makes it clear what was in the past stays in the past (and in Vegas) and he will not betray the king. Later that night, unable to sleep, Mu Jin tries to calm himself with a little wood carving. His pregnant wife comes to check up on him and sees what he's carving. They are two little wood figures that Mu Jin says represents her and their child. (Just like the little figurines Maximus had in Gladiator! I know, I know - I need to let this go. I just can't!)

A Buddhist monk is being tortured. The jailer in charge asks the monk who he is spying for. The monk admits he's working for Koguryo. The jailer says there is a way for the monk to save himself and whispers instructions in the man's ear. When next the jailer asks who he is working for, the monk changes his story and says he is for Silla.

Mu Jin is escorting the queen and prince to a local Buddhist temple. On their way back they are confronted by a troop of soldiers. There is the jailer from the previous scene. (I don't know this guy's rank or name so I'm calling him the jailer.) When Mu Jin asks what the meaning of this is, the jailer brings forth the monk, claiming he just caught this guy around the same temple the queen and them had been to. The monk pleads for the queen and Mu Jin to forgive him for being caught, acting like he knows them. The Jailer holds up a map of the capital, saying the reason the queen had gone to the temple was to give this map to the spy from Silla. Ah, clever.

The jailer wants to arrest the queen but of course Mu Jin isn't having any of that. He orders his men to stand guard around the queen. Yet when the jailer orders the royal guard to stand down, they back off, leaving poor Mu Jin all by himself. Mu Jin and Excalibur start to attack when the queen orders him to halt. She'll give herself up in order to avoid any bloodshed. As they're slowly returning to the palace the queen rips a piece of cloth from her dress and using her own blood writes a message on it.

When the king hears the queen has been arrested he's totally helpless. Mishil-lite comes to visit and she's all, "This can't be true. We'll investigate and find out the truth." The queen and Prince Uija are put under house arrest and are about to be separated, which I think is a good thing. Uija is too much of a moma's boy. He needs to cut the apron strings and have some masculine influence in his life. Anyway, before they are separated his mother is able to secretly hand her bloody note to her son, ordering him to read it later.

Mu Jin is being tortured, trying to get him to confess to being a spy. The king tries to cut a deal with his prime minister/father-in-law. The Minister of Justice is questioning the monk spy about details of how he got the map. This minister seems to be an honest guy. He's not totally buying the monk's story and goes to send someone off to investigate the temple. When the minister comes back to continue questioning, it is to find the monk spy has been murdered by the Purists.

Mishil-lite comes to gloat over the bloody Mu Jin. She offers him one last chance to save himself if he'll incriminate the queen. Does she not know this man she claims to have loved? Of course he won't do that. The minister of justice decides that even though the case is sloppy and the monk is dead, there is still enough evidence to convict the queen. Their laws state that she and her entire family must die, queen or no queen.

Mishil-lite informs the king that the Council of Nobles are going to vote to put the queen to death. Mishil-lite offers to help the king by providing a carriage to whisk the queen and prince away to the border with Silla. The king will lose his beloved family, but at least they'll be alive somewhere. However, she insists that Mu Jin stays.

Mishil-lite goes to where the royal family is being held. When the guards try to stop her, Mishil-lite and her dainty maids slaughter the guards. Take that, dudes in armor! Wait, I shouldn't be cheering them on.

In another action scene, one lone ninja takes out the guards stationed around where Mu Jin is being held prisoner. Seriously, no wonder Baekje fell if all their soldiers are taken out by one ninja. The ninja frees Mu Jin and returns Excalibur to him. Wait, that voice... could that be the balls-free king in the ninja outfit? I was not expecting that. Mu Jin rushes home to find his wife and watermelon are okay. He and his pregnant wife ride off on horseback which I'm sure is totally fine for a woman that far gone in pregnancy to do.

They catch up to the carriage carrying the queen and prince. Mu Jin takes over driving the carriage but a hoard of ninja Purists stop them. They're being led by Mishil-lite in all her ninja glory. When the queen overhears that Mishil-lite had been sending them back to Silla (the queen didn't know where they were going), the queen jumps out of the carriage, refusing to allow herself or her son to be branded traitors to Baekje. With one last command to Mu Jin to not allow Uija to go to Silla, the queen pulls out a small knife and slits her own throat. (Squeamish Hulu blurs this out.)

Sa Taek Bi orders the Purists to kill everyone. Mu Jin and Excalibur keep the ninjas busy in order to give pregnant wife and prince a chance to get ahead. After killing a few Purists, Mu Jin is able to catch up to the duo. (actor Cha In Pyo has been working out. Not that I'm complaining. Hell no, I'm not complaining! If I'm going to do any complaining it would be for the show not giving enough shirtless scenes to the man.) Suddenly the prince gets all stubborn. He tells Mu Jin to go ahead and escape, but he's going to take his mother's body back home, inherit the throne, and kill everyone involved. Mu Jin accepts the prince's decision and creates a hidey hole for the boy, leaving with some last minute instructions on how to get back to the capital safely.

Mu Jin and wife are caught on the edge of a cliff, naturally, surrounded by Jilsook sorry, Kwi Un and his men. Mu Jin has been wounded and his fighting skills are starting to suffer. When Kwi Un starts to go for the unprotected (and is she in labor?) wife, Mu Jin grabs her and they jump off the cliff into the sea, which I'm sure is totally fine for a woman that far gone in pregnancy to do. Is anyone else having Queen Seondeok flashbacks besides me? I mean, besides all the Queen Seondeok cast being reused in this drama, but that show also had a pregnant woman going over the side of a cliff into the sea.

Crime Squad Episode 1

(Dear Lord, how I loathe Charter Internet commercials.)



Two cops are chasing after a little man to arrest him for wearing the ugliest shirt I have ever laid eyes on. He deserves the death penalty! Little man has some stamina in him as he races across town. The lead cop is played by Song Il Gook and he is sporting a slightly less offensive hairstyle from the last one he had in that magnificent cheesefest, A Man Called God. As he continues to chase Little Man he accidentally bumps into a young woman, spilling the contents of her purse onto the ground. Time grinds to a halt as the two look at each other. This is Korean drama's way of establishing future love pairings. Little Man manages to board a train and gets away.

Detective Park Sehyuk (Song Il Gook) goes to a rundown building and bangs on a door. Inside, four men are playing cards and are frightened to death to hear Sehyuk demanding to be let inside. They're so frightened one of them rips a long, loud fart that I swear Sehyuk is able to hear outside. (Why, Asian dramas? Why must we have such bathroom humor?) Reluctantly the men allow Sehyuk inside. He knows them and their past criminal histories. He threatens to pin some thefts on them unless they help him locate drug dealer Ma Jongpil, the Little Man with Poor Fashion Taste.

Little Man is sweating it out at a bath house when Sehyuk shows up. There's another chase scene as half-naked Ma Jongpil runs to his locker to retrieve a baggie of drugs and swallows the evidence. Sehyuk tries the Heimlich on Jongpil to try and bring the evidence up but it is too late. So we get to see Jongpil straining on a toilet seat while Sehyuk patiently waits for the baggie to come out the other end.

And that's when I decide after only three and a half minutes that no, this drama is not for me.

Three Kingdoms Episode 7

CGI ships go sailing down the CGI River. It is the Sun faction who got through the fake fight with old man Liu Biao's troops. Claude Rains is instructing his eldest son on all the rewards they should send the old man when hidden archers up on the cliffs attack the ships. Dang, Daddy Sun is a pin cushion! He still has life enough to order the ships to make a break for it. However, Liu Biao's men have studded the CGI River with sharp boulders, making it impossible for the ships to get through. Daddy Sun says they'll have to go ashore and fight it out on solid ground.

There's a bloody - and to be honest, rather confusing - battle. Sometimes it is really hard to tell who is who. In the hold of the ship, Daddy Sun admits to Kid Sun how he was right about the imperial seal being bad luck. He tells Sun Quan to someday give the seal to one of Yuan Shao's brothers so that that family can kill each other over the seal. Daddy doesn't want his boy to see him die so instructs one of his generals to take the boy ashore.

Daddy Sun's older boy, Sun Ce, is valiantly fighting and manages to capture the general of the enemy, causing their troops to retreat. But while everyone has been fighting on land, some of the enemy has managed to sneak on board the boat with Claude Rains and are making off with him. Sun Ce wants to pursue but his generals and younger brother stop him. Dad is probably dead and Sun Ce's duty now is to get back home and protect the Southland. Sun Ce won't leave until he retrieves his father's body. They figure to trade the captured enemy general for the body and brave young Sun Quan volunteers to go handle the negotiations with old man Liu Biao.

I'd like to take a moment to give much respect to the child actor playing Sun Quan. Dramawiki lists him as Zheng Wei. 

Old man Liu is worrying his old man head off over what he's done when Sun Quan comes to beg for his father's body. Liu's minions whisper (very, very loudly) they should kill the boy and take over the Southland. Sun Quan replies that his father's last words were to not seek vengeance with Liu Biao's people as it was Yuan Shao who was the main instigator. The people of the Southland just want to be friendly neighbors with the Jing. This wins old man Liu over and he returns the body.

Dong Zhuo's suck-up (what was his name again? Li Ru?) comes running up to inform the despot of the death of Sun Jian. Suck-up continues to suck up by urging Dong Zhuo to take the throne and declare himself emperor. Surprisingly Dong Zhuo is still hesitant, wondering how the people will take it. Suck-up suggests his master get his feet wet first by declaring himself as Imperial Father. Once they see how the ministers react to that they'll go from there. Dong Zhuo likes that idea and orders all the ministers to come for a feast. He also gives Suck-up a promotion. It's like I always say, sucking up is the only way to make it in the world.

As the ministers show up at Dong Zhuo's new digs, old man Wang and another minister, Zheng Wen, gossip about how much this house cost, how Dong Zhuo has taken all the maids and consorts from the imperial household, and how many troops guard this palatial pad. Yet inside it is this same Minister Zheng who begs Dong Zhuo to take the throne and start a new dynasty. I swear, there's so much sucking up in this episode I'm surprised there is any air left.

Just as Dong Zhuo is about to ask the other ministers how they like the idea, Lu Bu comes in and whispers in his father's ear. Dong Zhuo has his men seize Minister Zheng and drag him outside. Dong Zhuo reveals that Zheng was actually in cahoots with the rebel Yuan Shao and that Dong Zhuo's scouts have just intercepted a secret message between the two. Dong Zhuo stomps around the hall, asking if there are any other ministers who are faking their loyalty to him. He'll be able to tell by just once glance who is a traitor. He glares right at Wang but the old man has his poker face going strong. Dong Zhuo has another test. He gives each minister a cup of dead Zheng's blood. To prove their loyalty they must drink. As the ancient Chinese used to say: gag me with a spoon. Poor old man Wang looks green around the gills but he does what he has to do.

Back home Wang is so disgusted with himself he threatens suicide. Diaochan talks him out of it. A servant comes to announce Lu Bu is here. Wang thinks Lu Bu has come to arrest him but the servant informs Wang the purpose of the visit is to deliver a birthday gift to Diaochan. Wang then learns that this isn't the first visit Lu Bu has made to their home. It takes Wang foooorrrrreeeeevvvveeeerrrr to realize that Lu Bu is sweet on his daughter and I still don't think he's hit on the idea that Diaochan feels the same way as Wang suddenly begs his daughter to try and fall in love with Lu Bu in order to save the Han dynasty. Diaochan asks how can she save the Han but all her father answers is that he'll tell her later. Oh come on, Diaochan. Don't turn stupid on me now.

Gyebaek Episode 1

It is a full week for me, what with the season finale of Revenge and the wrap up of Rooftop Prince. That always leaves me in a quandary as I wonder, "What will I watch next?" So I'm trying out some different flavors and see what catches, what doesn't.

Okay, seriously, the first battle scene is nothing but a rip-off of the movie Gladiator. There is a difference between homage and almost shot for shot stealing. Does Ridley Scott know about this? We see the Baekje general Gyebaek in full battle armor daydreaming in a field of flowers. (Remember Maximus and his field of wheat?) He's recalled back to the task at hand which is a face off with the army of Silla. Geez, even the majestic music is Gladiator-esque. I expect to see Russell Crowe to show up any second. (I used to have a 'thang' for Russell back in the day.)

A soldier rides up to Gyebaek to report that the army of Silla, led by Kim Yushin, is on its way. (This is so odd to be against Silla and Kim Yushin as it was the legendary Queen Seondeok that started my Korean drama/Kim Nam Gil addiction. But I digress.) The Baekje are outnumbered ten to one, but they have the advantage of barrels of explosives and being the stars of this show. I don't know who this guy is playing Kim Yushin, but anybody can do a better job than that piece of wood, Uhm Tae Woong. There's the sky filling with arrows, barrels exploding, horses being abused, masses of humanity clashing against one another, the sun disappearing in one shot and appearing in the next, then Gyebaek unleashes hell and rides in with his cavalry. Roma Victa!

Kim Yushin calls for a retreat of his forces. Everyone falls silent so Gyebaek can yell a challenge to Yushin, chastising the Silla general for having to get Chinese troops to fight Baekje, which will fight in the fields and fight in the hills, we will never surrender!

Korean Drama Laws rules that we go back in time to when Gyebaek is a huge watermelon in his mama's belly. His mama is really annoying and whiny, but I'll be generous and lay that on the pregnancy hormones' fault. We're introduced to his dad, Mu Jin, whose eyebrows and well-trimmed beard make me think he should be playing Mephistopheles instead. Mu Jin's job is to guard the royal family and lately he doesn't feel he can do an adequate job until he gets a special sword from the armory. The blacksmith directs Mu Jin to find what he needs at that pretty waterfall that's used in just about every Korean historical drama. And there's Excalibur! Or at least the Korean version of it. Thank goodness no one walking by said, "Hey, someone left a sword out here at this pretty waterfall. I should take it home with me," before Mu Jin showed up.

As Mu Jin is riding home that night he's attacked by ninja assassins. He easily subdues them with the power of his eyebrows. More ninjas are fighting to get to the queen and young prince Uija. Mu Jin leaps into battle and tests out Excalibur on several bodies. After they're all dead, Mu Jin sees that the ninjas have the tattoo of the Purists. These are people who don't want the mudblood prince on the throne because his mother is from Silla.

As Mu Jin is escorting the royal family to safety we get a glimpse of Sa Taek Bi, the king's second wife. (Good Lord, it's Oh Yun Soo from that beautiful mess, Bad Guy. I didn't recognize her at all.) She's obviously evil. I mean, look at her eyebrows. I know, I'm obsessed with the eyebrows in this drama, but they all have a personality of their own.

We get a quick glimpse of the Hideout of Many Doors where Kwi Un, leader of the Purists, sits under a spot light. (He's another actor from Queen Seondeok that I've noticed littering this production.) You know that old saying, "Don't kill the messenger"? Well, Kwi Un doesn't believe in that. You bring bad news, you get the tiki statues blowing poison darts at you.

The King wants to name his son, Uija, as crown prince and heir to the throne. The ministers aren't too keen on the idea while the military leaders are all for it. The King orders his prime minister to be stripped of his titles and tells a general to take the disgraced man out to exile. Just at that moment Sa Taek Bi/Mishil-lite walks in and basically countermands that order. Caught between a rock and a hard place the general scurries away. Well, now we know who wears the pants in this kingdom. We also learn that the prime minister is Mishil-lite's father. She has a young son, Prince Kyoki, who enjoys stabbing rabbits.

The king is feeling the weightlessness of his balls and is taking it out on his bodyguards. Thankfully Mu Jin arrives and is able to defuse the king with a slow-mo sword fight. Later that night over dinner the king decides it would be safer for his wife and son if he didn't make Uija the crown prince. Suddenly Mu Jin's ninja-senses start tingling. Someone's up on the roof! However, the king won't let him take action. The king knows there's someone up there but he wants them to overhear his plans.

Sure enough the conversation is related to Mishil-lite but she's not completely buying it. She still wants to get rid of "that Silla tramp and her brat" and sends orders to Kwi Un. (What is up with that hair, Kwi???) Later a note is passed to Mu Jin that Taek Bi wants to meet him in a secluded place. During their tete-a-tete she makes reference to their past relationship. A-ha! I had a feeling these two had a past. Their eyebrows were meant for each other. The episode ends with Taek Bi declaring Mu Jin is the only man she has ever loved. What kind of cliffhanger is that? Boo hiss boo.