The next day all the ministers are heading into court. Unaware of how Cao Cao has totally messed things up, old man Wang is gleefully informing the other ministers that Cao Cao has killed Dong Zhuo. Everyone's step is a little lighter, their hearts a little freer. That is until Dong Zhuo shows up, alive and well. Wang has a classic "Oh Crap!" look on his face.
Inside the court, Dong Zhuo is ripping everyone a new one. While he's still after Cao Cao's head, he knows someone in this court put Cao Cao up to the attempt and Dong Zhuo swears to find the culprit and eat him for dinner. Poor Wang is ready to pee in his pants from fear. Out of nowhere Dong Zhuo changes the subject and asks Wang why he wasn't invited to the old man's birthday party. Wasn't he good enough to drink Wang's wine?
Wang knows the jig is up. He goes back home and tells everyone to basically run for the hills. If they stay they'll be killed. We're now introduced to Wang's beautiful daughter, Diaochan. She goes looking for her father to learn what all the commotion is about and discovers him holding a knife and contemplating suicide. She talks her father out of it, pointing out that until Dong Zhuo captures Cao Cao, he can only suspect that Wang was in on it. If Wang were to kill himself, that would just verify Dong Zhuo's suspicions and he would have the entire household killed.
Just then Lu Bu and his hairy minions show up. Old man Wang, who has a much better poker face than that doofus, Cao Cao, goes to greet him. Lu Bu explains he's here to arrest Cao Cao. Wang asks why would the fugitive be here? Search all you want, he's not here.
While Lu Bu is looking around he stumbles upon the lovely Diaochan and violins begin to play. Or whatever the Chinese orchestra plays. Maybe they do have violins. Anyway, it's quite clear that Lu Bu is instantly smitten. He apologizes for intruding but he's here to arrest Cao Cao. Diaochan says the name sounds familiar to her. Ah yes, that's the man who rudely crashed her father's birthday party and was insolent. Her father publicly scolded the rascal and had him thrown out of the house. If Lu Bu doesn't believe her, he can asks all the other party guests.
Lu Bu then spies an ornate dagger on display and goes over to look at it. Clever Diaochan explains that this is her father's famous knife, the Seven Stars Dagger. Lu Bu believes if this is the true Seven Stars Dagger, then the one Cao Cao had must be a fake, and that old man Wang is not involved with the traitor. Oh Diaochan, I'm going to like you.
Next we see three men in an orchard. This same scene was in that other dreadful Three Kingdoms drama I mistakenly watched before. It took those weepy guys twenty minutes to swear eternal brotherhood with each other. Thankfully in this drama it only takes a minute or so. All we learn are their names: Liu Bei, Guan Yu and Zhang Fei. Who are these men? What have they got to do with the story? We don't find out as the scene quickly ends and we now join Cao Cao (the big doofus) on the lamb.
Wanted posters of him are up so he's disguised as a peasant. Not too well disguised as he's recognized and apprehended by a guard at a city gate. Cao Cao is taken in bondage before the city magistrate, Chen Gongtai. Cao Cao tries to give a false name and claim the guards have mistaken him for someone else. But it turns out this magistrate has an unpleasant past with Cao Cao and recognizes him. He taunts Cao Cao that the failed assassin has a huge bounty on his head. It would take Gongtai over three hundred years to make that much money. But he doesn't see why Cao Cao is worth that much. He'll take Cao Cao's head to the capital tomorrow and claim the reward, so tonight C.C. will be the magistrate's "guest" in a prison cell.
Yet that night, when Gongtai comes to visit Cao Cao, it is to explain that he had to say all those things because the walls have ears. Secretly, Gongtai also holds a grudge against Dong Zhuo and he admires Cao Cao for trying to kill the tyrant. Cao Cao says he realizes now that assassination was a stupid thing to do. Even if he had succeeded, who's to say an even worse fellow would take Dong Zhuo's place? What Cao Cao should have done was raise a militia and fight Dong Zhuo man to man - er, army to army. Gongtai is just so taken with all this that he pleads to join Cao Cao on his quest, even if that means leaving his family behind.
In the morning the two men ride out on the dusty trail. They stop to take a piss. (Seriously, why do we need to see this??) Gongtai recommends they join up with a Yuan Shao who is already leading a rebellion against Dong Zhuo. Cao Cao nixes this idea saying 1) They wouldn't be given very high positions in his army, and 2) Yuan Shao isn't a very good leader. Turns out years before it was Yuan Shao who had invited Dong Zhuo and his thugs into the capital to get rid of a nest of pesky eunuchs. After Dong Zhuo killed the eunuchs, he decided this was such a nice place that he would stay. So it's basically all Yuan Shao's fault that they're in these dire straits in the first place.
Cao Cao suggests they go and rest awhile with his uncle, Lu Boshe. Lu is so glad to see his nephew alive that he orders a feast. Anonymous Offscreen Voice replies that they're all out of wine. Lu Boshe orders someone to go to town and buy some wine. This makes Cao Cao nervous as there are wanted posters of the two men all over the place. He fears someone would be tempted to turn them in. Lu Boshe offers to go to town himself, then.
While Uncle is gone, Cao Cao takes a nap but Gongtai is awfully nervous. He hears someone outside sharpening a knife. He wakes Cao Cao and they hear voices saying things like, "Tie them up. Don't let them get away. We'll kill them all." Fearing that they've been betrayed, Cao Cao says their only choice is to fight their way out. And fight they do. They come out swinging with their swords, slashing men and women left and right. Then the two men make a discovery. There are some pigs tied up. The two men comprehend that what they had heard were the servants planning on killing the pigs for the feast that night.
Oh, you idiots! You great big, gi-normous, thick headed idiots! And you're the heroes of this story? I'm beginning to like Dong Zhuo more and more. And where's Ruby Lin?
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