Prince of Lan Ling Episode 46

I begin this last episode with trepidation. I know once it ends I'll fall into a deep bout of the "Now What'll I Watch?" blues.

 

 

Prince of An De brings Xiao Cui to stay with Xue Wu while the menfolk go off to fight. Xue Wu asks her husband if she can at least keep Snowy the faithful horse with her.

 

The Zhou army is just five miles away from Ye City. King Yuwen Yung learns about Duan Shao's execution scheduled for noon that day. Yung surprises his advisors by ordering everyone to hold off and just observe until after noon. Does Yung know who Duan Shao is and knows Chang Gong will be staging a rescue attempt?

 

Zheng Er is still in the (nearly empty) palace. She has the chained imperial tutor brought before her. Duan Shao demands she just kill him and get it over with. Zheng Er informs the prisoner she needs him alive as bait. It must be working as a report is brought in of spotting the masked assassin in the city. He's even sent the empress a message. "A life for a life."

 

The masked man has the audacity to simply ride up to the steps of the palace. A confident Zheng Er orders the mysterious assassin to take off his mask. What he does do is pull out some smoke bombs, run up the steps, take Zheng Er hostage and carry her off to another location. Zheng Er tells Gao Chang Gong to release her. The warrior takes off the mask to reveal

 

Holy crap, it's Xue Wu! Another awesome fake-out, Show! Damn, you're good.

 

Chang Gong and his masked merry men are about to leave An De Manor to go rescue Duan Shao when something odd happens. Shi Shen and the merry men all turn and block Chang Gong's way. Shi Shen explains he's following Xue Wu's orders. She's wanting to save her husband from the taint of killing his own kinsman. Also, the prince is the only one qualified to take over the throne after Gao Wei is dealt with. Therefore she will be playing the part of the Lone Gunman in this assassination.

 

Chang Gong orders his brother-in-arms to either kill him or step aside. Shi Shen asks for a chance to make it up to the prince by aiding in the rescue attempt.

 

Xue Wu holds a knife to Zheng Er's throat as she demands to know where Duan Shao and/or Gao Wei is. Zheng Er presses her throat against the knife. She goes through the list of all the terrible things she's survived through this show. In other words it's going to take a lot more than a big knife to scare the shit out of her. (She does have a point, ya know.)

 

The women are interrupted by Chang Gong. He takes over holding the knife to Zheng Er's neck and ordering her to take them to Gao Wei. Suddenly Xue Wu is hit with an arrow from the battlements. It's Gao Wei and he's already got another arrow nocked. He first aims it at his old rival but then Gao Wei swings over to release the projectile at Zheng Er.

 

Xue Wu realizes the arrow in her chest is poisonous. Chang Gong picks her up and leaves everyone behind to go find a doctor. Gao Wei comes down to untie Zheng Er and tell her he knew all along she was poisoning him. He knew she didn't love him but he had hoped if he was patient and waited long enough she would finally feel some kind of affection for him. He's lost everything: his people, his army, his kingdom - all for her. 

 

Gao Wei pulls the bottle of Ancient Chinese Ambien from Zheng Er's robes and downs the entire contents. Everybody has blood coming out of their mouth. Everybody has a death scene.

 

Chang Gong is pleading with his wife to hang on as he carries her along. Xue Wu knows its too late and asks for him to stop. (Now I'm having Bridal Mask flashbacks.) She gives him permission to find himself another wife, provided the other woman isn't prettier or smarter than Xue Wu. Seriously, she says that. Chang Gong swears she will be the only wife he will ever have. With one last request, to take care of Ping An, Xue Wu makes a beautiful corpse.

 

For some reason the Qi soldiers in the city start herding all the townspeople into shacks so they can be burned alive. This is so masked An De and his men can come to the rescue. In the midst of the fighting an extra comes to announce Gao Wei's death. An De takes off his mask and orders the Qi soldiers to stop harassing the people as the war is now over. The soldiers run off. An De's people free the townsfolk who are glad Gao Wei is dead and are actually looking forward to the Zhou coming in.

 

An De rides out alone to meet with Yung. He's the one who has to break the news to the king about Xue Wu's death. It's a bittersweet victory for Yung as he rides into the city and takes over the throne. He orders everyone to turn around so they won't see his tears of sorrow. 

 

Time passes and now it's Yung's turn to have a bloody mouth death scene as the poison in his system finally gets to him. 

 

An De tells how Prince of Lan Ling disappeared after the loss of Ye City and hasn't been seen since. Perhaps its for the best as Chang Gong, off raising his son alone, has now grown a pornstache.

 

 

 

And I leave you with that.

Prince of Lan Ling Episode 45

Yuwen Yung plans to take down Qi State utilizing shock and awe. They'll come in from the north, from where the Qi will least expect a Zhou attack. Yung predicts he'll need only three battles to win the war.

 

Prince of An De tries to talk some sense into Emperor Gao Wei, who is still playing at being a beggar. Gao Wei appears to be flying high and doesn't really care about Ping Yang City falling to the Zhou. It's up to Zheng Er to manipulate her husband into donning his armor and leading his army into battle. All she's really interested in, though, is whether all this fighting will make Chang Gong appear.

 

Oh, we get some anime as the Great Omniscient Voiceover tells us something about the battle of Ping Yang.

 

Hulu Senior receives word that some faithful Qi soldiers are still in the walled city. At three o'clock in the afternoon they plan to open the city gates so Gao Wei can lead his men inside. Zheng Er asks for him to wait while she gets ready. She so wants to see this. Hulu Senior worries that they'll miss the deadline if they wait much longer. Zheng Er takes her own sweet time getting dressed and Gao Wei insists on waiting on her. The result being he misses his chance at victory. Ping Yang falls to the Zhou.

 

Zheng Er finally shows up and pouts that it's not her fault. Who cares about a stinky old city anyway? Hulu Senior has had enough. He starts saying what everyone else is thinking: that Gao Wei is weak and Zheng Er is evil. Gao Wei is so enraged he strangles Hulu Senior with a bowstring. Duan Shao is put under arrest to be executed later. 

 

 

(Yep, more and more I'm convinced everybody's gonna be dead by the last episode.)

 

Gao Wei is convinced Ye City (the capital) can't be defended and the court should hightail it down south somewhere. The emperor tells Zheng Er about his brilliant plan to burn down Ye City before the Zhou can enjoy it. During the confusion, Gao Wei and Zheng Er can simply slip away, with everyone else thinking the royal couple was killed in the fire. Zheng Er acts like, "Sure, I'm down with that. Just let me go pack a couple of things first."

 

Chang Gong is infuriated to learn about Hulu Senior's death and Duan Shao's scheduled execution for tomorrow afternoon. Xue Wu insists whatever his plan is to include her in it. His plan is to not only rescue the imperial tutor but to also wipe out the royal couple.

 

As part of the emperor's plans, Eunuch Si Xi has procured two corpses (one of them Zheng Er's evil maid) and dressed the dead up as the royal couple so it is their bodies that will be found in the upcoming fire. As the old saying goes, two can keep a secret if one of them is dead. To make sure this little subterfuge doesn't get leaked, Gao Wei poisons Si Xi.

 

 

Another one bites the dust.

 

Zheng Er comes in to makes Gao Wei take another sleeping pill. (Both just ignoring the still warm body of Si Xi lying on the floor at their feet.) With the emperor fast asleep, Zheng Er starts to make her move. What she doesn't see is that Gao Wei is really awake. He didn't swallow the pill. He gets up to secretly follow her.

Prince of Lan Ling Episode 44

The shoe is on the other foot now as it's Zu Ting who is Yuwen Yung's prisoner. Zu Ting pleads for his life. Yung demands the antidote to the poison forced down his throat. The astrologer first admits there is no antidote, but then he backs up and claims he can make one - just don't kill him. Prince of Lan Ling comes in and Yung hands Zu Ting over to him. Chang Gong barely hesitates before drawing his sword and striking the astrologer down. So, that's the end of Zu Ting.

 

 

(I'm getting the feeling the entire cast is going to end up dead by the final episode.)

 

Chang Gong leaves, not seeing Yung start to spit up blood already. (I thought this poison was supposed to take three years to kill him?) Xue Wu wakes up to find Yang Shi Shen is standing guard over her. Shi Shen is a total blabbermouth as he tells her how Yuwen Yung is with Chang Gong right now. Way to break the news to her, Shi Shen.

 

When the masked warrior comes to check on his wife, Xue Wu calls Chang Gong out on how a whole year has gone by and he couldn't bother to tell her he's alive. She unties his mask and cries with relief to see it really is her beloved prince. (Poor Yung watches from the sidelines.) Lots of crying scenes.

 

 

In the midst of this reunion, Xue Wu finally looks over and notices heartbroken Yung walking away. She runs to catch up to him. Yung swallows his tears, as well as the pain from the poison, as he wishes her well. As Yung rides back to his palace he keeps coughing up more and more blood. He recovers enough to tell Shen Ju he plans to launch an attack on Qi State. Then he's in pain again. The imperial physician has nothing but bad news as he confirms what Zu Ting already said: Yung has only three years left.

 

With death staring him in the face, King Yung makes peace with Queen Axina. She's not fooled at all. She knows he's needing her father's troops to help conquer Qi.

 

 

Gao Wei starts dressing up and acting like a beggar. (Just like the real-life Gao Wei did.) Zheng Er just pops another pill into his mouth and sends the emperor to his bed. So it is the empress who receives the news that Zu Ting has been killed by Prince of Lan Ling.

 

 

Yuwen Yung has called together his commanding officers to go over his war strategy. And look, there's Yang Jian, a face we haven't seen since the first episode. Where the hell have you been, man?

Prince of Lan Ling Episode 43

Xue Wu returns home to inform Old Woman Whose Name I Still Don't Know about the theft of all their savings. But later, when she hears Snowy making a fuss, Xue Wu goes outside to see her bag has been returned. The Masked Man of La Mancha wasn't fast enough in slipping away and Xue Wu chases after him. She asks if he's the legendary warrior for good everyone has been talking about. (Seriously, you have to ask? Do people just walk around every day wearing a metal mask that you have to make sure you've got the right guy?)

 

Chang Gong doesn't speak, only nods his head in answer. Xue Wu happens to notice a bug bite on his neck and warns if it isn't treated it can have serious consequences. Chang Gong can't risk blacking out in the middle of a fight so he silently agrees to Xue Wu treating him with some herbs. She's surprised when Snowy calmly allows the "stranger" to pet him.

 

 

They go inside the house where Xue Wu is so trusting she allows this unknown man to hold her baby. For a brief moment she envisions Chang Gong holding his child. Xue Wu goes to prepare some tea (leaving her baby alone with a guy she just met and knows nothing about) but when she returns it is to find the Man In The Iron Mask has disappeared. He's left a note, though, thanking her for treating his bug bite. If she ever needs his aid again, send him a smoke signal.

 

Zheng Er is back to pushing the pills on the emperor. Gao Wei sadly tells his empress how much he loves her. He loves her enough to take the pills (which he knows can kill him) if that's what she wants. As she watches him take the pills, Zheng Er has tears in her eyes. It's like she knows he knows and yet is still willing to sacrifice his life for her.

 

 

 

Chang Gong returns to his hideout to find An De and Shi Shen have started assembling some merry men to help him out. Meanwhile, Xue Wu realizes she gave the masked man o'war the wrong medication for his bug bite. She must find him!

 

Zu Ting learns the masked man of constant sorrow has been spotted near Mount Phoenix. The imperial astrologer moves his men out in hot pursuit. The reason Chang Gong is going to the mountain is because Xue Wu has sent up her smoke signal so she can give him the right bottle this time. They both must escape together when the Qi soldiers give chase.

 

Chang Gong hides Xue Wu behind a very thin tree that doesn't hide her at all while he goes out to deal with the armed forces. His strength is so great that one arrow can go through two armored men. He draws the soldiers away from where Xue Wu is huddling behind a stick. She gets up to leave when she spies something the masked man has dropped on the ground. It's her ceremonial belt which she gave to Lan Ling. (I still argue that it was Yuwen Yung who had the belt last.)

 

The Qi lose Chang Gong in the forest of thin trees. Zu Ting figures out the burning hay they found must have been a signal for the masked warrior. This is something the astrologer can use.

 

Chang Gong realizes he's lost his precious belt. Xue Wu is sitting at home wondering who the masked man is when he comes knocking. She demands to know his identity and reaches to pull his mask off. He stops her so that he can unmask himself. We're forced to slowly watch him remove the mask and Xue Wu's surprised expression when she sees

 

Yang Shi Shen! Awesome fake-out, Show. Xue Wu seems to accept his story about being the masked hero, but after he leaves she realizes Shi Shen didn't have the same bug bite as the man she met before.

 

Yung has to sneak out of the palace so he can pay a secret visit to Xue Wu.

 

Xue Wu is preparing to sneak back into Qi to further investigate her suspicions. As she's just leaving the house, though, she sees a smoke signal coming from the mountain. Xue Wu correctly assumes this is a Qi trap for the masked warrior. Change of plans as now the divine sorceress sprints for the mountain in hopes of stopping Chang Gong before he's ambushed.

 

Yung arrives at Xue Wu's house. Old Woman tells the king about the Qi being on the mountain and Xue Wu racing there to try and save the masked man. Yung sends some men to go make a second smoke signal. This should put the masked warrior on his guard. Yung easily catches up to Xue Wu and tries to stop her from getting involved in danger. Before he can get her away they are both surrounded by the Qi. Zu Ting is beside himself with glee with capturing both Xue Wu and the King of Zhou.

 

 

 

Don't worry, Chang Gong is on top of things. He orders his merry men to assemble for an attack on Zu Ting's base. Zu Ting, still laughing his ass off at his good luck, has Xue Wu chloroformed. Zu Ting isn't going to be taking them back to the crazy emperor and the even crazier empress. The astrologer has his own plans. He forces a slow-acting poison down Yung's throat. It's so slow it will take three years for it to kill the king. Only Zu Ting can make the antidote so there's no chance Yung will ever kill him. All Zu Ting asks is for Zhou to attack Qi. In the upcoming chaos, Zu Ting will then rebel against Gao Wei and then Toothy will take over the throne. Zu Ting cackles so much I think he laid an egg.

 

Outside, Chang Gong and his men (now all wearing masks) are attacking. One of their band is captured and Zu Ting threatens to kill the man if they don't stop fighting. Chang Gong reveals his identity, stunning the Qi soldiers as well as the astrologer. Zu Ting orders the soldiers to arrest Chang Gong but they're so happy to see their beloved prince is still alive that they throw down their weapons and join the forces of good. It is Zu Ting who is taken prisoner.

 

Chang Gong goes inside Zu Ting's tent. Xue Wu is still knocked out from the drugs but Yung is awake and sees that Lan Ling is still alive. The two go have a man-to-man talk. Chang Gong thanks the king for taking such good care of Xue Wu. Yung sucker-punches Chang Gong in the abdomen. That's for not telling Xue Wu you're alive, punk! Gotta love that Yung.

Prince of Lan Ling Episode 42

The Qi people are suffering. Hunger. Crime. Rampant corruption. The people need a hero. A hero who dresses in black and wears an uncomfortable metal mask. You know that thing's gotta chafe.

 

Gao Wei, with a half-naked Zheng Er on his lap, holds court. He's still convinced he saw the ghost of Lan Ling in the palace. Zu Ting recommends stocking the palace with dogs and chickens and such, as it is believed animals can see the supernatural. Gao Wei agrees to this and even plans to bestow honorable titles upon the animals.

 

Gao Wei learns about a masked rebel who has been stealing from the rich and giving to the poor. Prince of An De volunteers to go capture the masked hero.

 

Later, Zheng Er asks the emperor how he's feeling since he's been taking the Ancient Chinese Ambien drug. Gao Wei thinks its a miracle drug. He can sleep the night through guilt free. Zheng Er replies since the drug works so well, why not take it more often? You pill pusher, you.

 

An De and Yang Shi Shen dress up as hot pink soldiers and pretend to be transporting supplies in order to lure out the masked bandit. Oh, they lure him out alright. There's a three-way fight with the man in black coming out the victor. Chang Gong removes his mask. An De cries like a baby to see his beloved Lan Ling is alive.

 

 

Chang Gong fills the guys in on how he cheated death and Zheng Er's part in it all. Since Gao Wei didn't keep his end of the bargain and become a better, kinder emperor, Chang Gong has turned into the masked rebel. Furthermore, Chang Gong has been keeping his eye on his family, secretly checking in on Xue Wu and Ping An over in Zhou. Since his life is in constant danger now as the masked avenger, Chang Gong doesn't want to put his wife in any danger by knowing he's alive. An De and Shi Shen promise to help the masked marvel any way they can.

 

(Seriously, his alter ego needs a name. Something cool. Somebody needs to come up with something.)

 

Yung and Zhen Er come to the farmhouse to visit Xue Wu and her gigantic baby. She's extra pleased that Yung was able to find Snowy, Chang Gong's horse. (Xiao Dong was riding Snowy when he raced to Zhou to get Yung's help to find Xue Wu.) Yung has also brought some old woman I've never seen before but Xue Wu knows her. She's here to keep Xue Wu company and help with the infant.

 

The old woman won't shut up as she praises King Yung for bringing all the folks from Beggars Village over to Zhou. He gave them all land to farm and so they're not beggars anymore. Yung asks the divine sorceress to be in charge of the new Beggars Village. (If they're not beggars anymore, why call it the Beggars Village?) In return, Xue Wu asks if Yung can arrange a meeting between her and An De.

Chang Gong continues his secret trips to Xue Wu's farmhouse. An De reports back to the palace. Gao Wei is a bit high on his happy pills so its Zheng Er taking care of the state business. She wants to know how the campaign to capture the masked marauder is going. An De acts embarrassed that he's not been successful in catching the rascally rabbit. Zheng Er is suspicious and so orders Zu Ting to take over An De's job.

Gao Wei comes down off his high long enough to discover he's made a dog a high official. The emperor has to ask Eunuch Si Xi to fill him in on what else has been going on. Gao Wei learns about Zheng Er giving the orders around here and he doesn't look too pleased. He starts pretending to take the pills while secretly sobering up.

Xue Wu is delighted when An De and Xiao Cui come for a visit. She's further thrilled to learn the couple has recently married. Happy times come to an end as An De fills Xue Wu in on how bad things have gotten in Qi. They talk about the fomenting rebellion and the mysterious masked warrior.

Thinking Gao Wei is knocked out by the drug, Zheng Er speaks freely with Zu Ting in front of the emperor. Zu Ting is the one who has been supplying the drug and he demands to be treated better. Zheng Er laughingly replies she's got the power now to send the imperial astrologer back to the pig sty since the emperor is so zonked out of his mind.

After hearing all this, Gao Wei has a private examination done. The doctor warns the emperor to stop taking the drug as it can be a dangerous poison when abused.

Xue Wu is out at the marketplace purchasing some cloth. A piggy pick pocket notices she's got plenty of money to spend. As she's walking home, Piggy snatches Xue Wu's bag. Piggy thinks he's gotten away until he runs into masked Chang Gong.

Prince of Lan Ling Episode 41

With the emperor on his way, Chang Gong gives Zheng Er two choices. She can either go greet Gao Wei and allow the prince to quietly slip away, or she can reveal Chang Gong is still alive. In which case Chang Gong will tell all as to who was keeping him alive and lying to the emperor.

 

Zheng Er chooses to let her man go.

 

Unfortunately, Chang Gong stupidly hangs around too long and is spotted by Gao Wei. At least the guilty emperor simply thinks he's seeing a ghost and freaks out.

 

Zheng Er may have let Chang Gong go but that doesn't mean she's let him go for good. She once again swears vengeance against him for breaking her heart.

 

Over in Zhou, Yung requests Xue Wu to come to another morning meeting. After the slap from the queen, Xue Wu wisely declines the offer. (More time must have passed as Xue Wu is starting to get a bigger belly.) If Mohammad won't come to the mountain, the mountain will come to Mohammad. Only Mohammad keeps avoiding the mountain. Yung sends the always reliable Shen Ju to corner Xue Wu and extend an invitation for an inspection. He promises it will all be strictly business.

 

 

Meanwhile, Chang Gong and his snazzy hat learns about Xue Wu being with Yung in Zhou State.

 

Xue Wu learns the "inspection" was just a ruse so Yung could get her alone outside of the palace. She explains the reason she's been avoiding him is because she doesn't want to create any more friction between Yung and Axina. He poo-poo's the whole idea. His marriage to Axina was always political. While they are on friendly terms, Yung doesn't consider himself and his wife in love or anything schmaltzy like that.

 

Axina, however, doesn't see it that way and is already plotting on how to get rid of the divine sorceress.

 

Wow, a lot of time must have passed as the court physician predicts Xue Wu will be going into labor any day now. The queen sweetly suggests Xue Wu go have her baby at a Buddhist temple. Yung thinks that's a great idea and sends Xue Wu on her way.

 

 

Yung and Axina drop Xue Wu off at a mountain temple. No one notices the evil eye exchange Axina has with the head monk. Nor does anyone hear the ominous music playing.

 

Wait, maybe I'm wrong! Shen Ju (the real hero) and his masked men think the monks around here are acting mighty fishy and bear watching.

 

That evening Xue Wu goes into labor. She goes looking for help only to stumble upon a monk/masked men battle royale going on outside. Shen Ju yells for her to escape. Labor pains or not, this girl's going out the window! The evil head monk is in hot pursuit.

 

Xue Wu is running through the forest. I sure hope there are no sink holes or steep cliffs around as she's always finding those.

 

Yung drops by Axina's quarters. He notices the queen is acting awfully nervous tonight. Anyway, he lets her know that he's already agreed to Xue Wu's request to retire to the borders to raise her baby. She'll no longer be a part of Zhou state affairs (and thus no longer a threat to Axina). 

 

Xue Wu stumbles to the ground, the evil monk with a sword slowly stalking her. He's about to strike when one of those masked men comes out of nowhere and kills the monk. The masked man disappears back into the forest when Shen Ju and his men start to catch up. (You know who the masked man is. I know who the masked man is. Xue Wu doesn't know who the masked man is.)

 

Axina offers the king some tea. Yung roughly knocks the teeny tiny cup out of her hands. He gave Axina every opportunity to come clean about what she was up to but she never took it. Yung storms off in a huff leaving Axina on the floor crying after him.

 

 

Xue Wu is heavy into labor and Shen Ju is forced to take her to a nearby farmhouse where the wife is drafted into being a midwife. Standing outside the door, listening to Xue Wu's cries of pain, is masked Chang Gong. The midwife worries that neither Xue Wu nor the baby is going to make it. Chang Gong clenches his fist in helplessness.

 

Xue Wu has a vision of the supposedly dead Chang Gong cheering her on. This gives her the motivation to finally push that baby out. Good Lord, look at that huge baby! No wonder she had a difficult birth. By the way, it's a boy. She names him Ping An.

 

Xue Wu asks Shen Ju what the deal was with those monks. He tells her how Yung was suspicious of the queen and so asked Shen Ju to keep an eye out on the divine sorceress. Xue Wu says she won't be returning to the palace. She'll just stay here and settle in this nice farmhouse. (Um, don't the original occupants of the house have a say in this?)

 

Xue Wu wants to thank the masked guard who came to her rescue in the woods. This puzzles Shen Ju as all the masked men were with him. C'mon, Xue Wu: put two and two together!

 

Shen Ju reports back to his king. Yung is so angry at the murderous monks that he orders all of them to be executed. Buddhism will no longer be practiced in Zhou. Axina, a devout Buddhist (and murderer), tries to talk Yung out of his orders but he won't budge.

 

Chang Gong is... somewhere when he comes upon some hot pink Qi soldiers trying to steal some kids. I don't know. All I know is he dons his mask and kicks Qi butt.

 

Thus Zorro the Gay Blade is born!

Prince of Lan Ling Episode 40

Queen Axina has a big dinner laid out and I cry foul once again as she has corn on the cob. Potato Rage! Anyway, this is all for King Yuwen Yung's benefit but he's not there to enjoy it. He's been spending more and more time with Xue Wu. Purely for state reasons but that doesn't mean Axina isn't feeling a wee bit jealous.

 

Gao Wei continues to suffer from insomnia. Zheng Er introduces him to Ancient Chinese Ambien, knowing full well the dangers of addiction. With the emperor knocked out cold, Zheng Er goes to visit with her captive. Chang Gong turns on the charm, lulling Zheng Er into a state of false security.

 

Zheng Er is still crazy enough to suggest they run off together and start anew. She knows he doesn't love her but she's willing to wait a millennium until his feelings change. Chang Gong acts like he's tempted. He takes a long hairpin out of her 'do as a sign of affection.

 

Look at that poor woman back there. She has to stand there all day holding a heavy incense burner.
You know that has to get real old real fast.

 

Yung's birthday is coming up. Xue Wu and Dubbed Zhen Er try to figure out what to give the king who has everything. They take Yung out to the waterside pavilion for a bitchin' fireworks display. Xue Wu notices one of the fireworks didn't go off and she investigates. Yung sees the fuse is still lit and grabs her away just as the thing misfires. He gets a small burn on his shoulder and Xue Wu insists on treating him inside the pavilion.

 

 

Then there's a downpour which makes them even more late for the birthday feast Axina has been working on all day. Yung makes his move, confessing his feelings and asking if Xue Wu feels anything for him. She doesn't answer, which is all the answer he needs.

 

The banquet is a bust and all the guests go back home. Axina continues to wait for the king to return. When the group returns from the pavilion, Axina notices the burn mark on Yung's back. Without thinking, Axina slaps the fire out of Xue Wu. There's trouble all around. Yung is pissed off at Axina. Axina is pissed off at Xue Wu. Xue Wu doesn't want trouble between the couple and accepts the blame for the king being injured. Zhen Er just stands there.

 

Over in Qi, Zheng Er is packing up her bags, thinking she's about to run away with Chang Gong. And look who's here after using the hairpin to pick the locks on his shackles. Chang Gong demands to know where Xue Wu is. Zheng Er starts to call for the guards. He threatens to kill her right here and now if she doesn't answer his question.

 

Then, just to make things more interesting, it's announced the emperor is on his way over.

Prince of Lan Ling Episode 39

Xue Wu is understandably dazed and confused when the palace tailor comes to measure her for new clothes as an imperial concubine. She goes to see King Yung to ask, "What up wit dat, dude?" Yung shows her the bodies of two assassins killed just last night. (So, they just keep the corpses right outside the royal stateroom?) Yung explains that he had to give her some kind of title in order to protect Xue Wu - as well as the baby she's carrying - from any further attempts on her life. He also shows her the letter the late Chang Gong wrote to him, asking for protection for his wife. Xue Wu thanks Yung for being such a good friend.

 

 

A depressed An De has been turning to the comfort of alcohol. Xiao Cui takes him out to the work site of the Celestial Garden to show him how the people are suffering. Now sober up and do something about it! With Prince of Lan Ling dead and the divine sorceress run off, the role of savior now falls upon the playboy shoulders of An De.

 

An De receives a missive from Xue Wu, briefly explaining her new title is not to be taken seriously and that An De will be an uncle in a few months.

 

 

Queen Axina learns about Xue Wu's new designation and doesn't know how to take it. Xue Wu assures the queen she's not the least bit attracted to Yung so is not a threat in that department. As soon as her child is born, Xue Wu plans to leave. 

 

We see Zheng Er once again sneaking away from the palace at night. This time we get to see her destination. Somewhere she's secretly keeping an unconscious Chang Gong chained to a bed. Don't get kinky, now. Chang Gong finally wakes up and demands to know what is going on. Remember how eager Zheng Er was to pour the prince some poisoned wine. It was because she had replaced the poison with her own special drug which would simulate death. Also, that time Gao Wei was going to stab the prince's corpse to verify death - Zheng Er had put a bloody piece of animal meat on Chang Gong's abdomen. She directed the emperor's dagger to stab the meat instead of Chang Gong.

 

The empress claims she went to all this subterfuge because she didn't want Chang Gong to have such an easy death. She wants him alive to suffer! (Also, and we all know this, she's still in love with him.) But let's get back to the suffering. Zheng Er tells him how Xue Wu fell off a cliff and died. As proof, Zheng Er brings out the silver comb Chang Gong recognizes as the one he gave Xue Wu.

 

However, Chang Gong tricks Zheng Er. He says the comb came as a set. Where's the gold one? Zheng Er claims she was nice enough to leave the gold comb with Xue Wu's body. Thus Chang Gong now knows the empress is a big fat liar. He can only hope Xue Wu made it to Zhou safely.

 

Yung has Xue Wu summoned to his morning court although some of the ministers don't trust her hearing Zhou state secrets. One guy says the peace treaty between Zhou and Qi is about to expire. Now is the perfect time to build up an army. Yet another guy points out it's not been a good year. They should concentrate instead on agriculture. Make love, not war.

 

Yung asks for the divine sorceress's opinion. Xue Wu works out a compromise between the military and the farmers. I'm not really sure what this scene was for.

Prince of Lan Ling Episode 38

Xue Wu makes it to the prince's centopath but there are two men from the Fuchsia Brigade guarding it. They haven't seen her yet. Xue Wu uses her superior chemistry skills to start a fire with oleander. When the two guards go to investigate the fire, their skin starts to itch from the burning plant. (Something similar was done in Three Kingdoms.) The itchy guards leave to go rinse off in the river. This gives Xue Wu the opportunity to have plenty of flashbacks at the tomb.

Yuwen Yung and his people have been searching for Xue Wu for days. A scout rides up to report he's seen a large amount of Qi palace guards heading somewhere to apprehend a wanted criminal. Yung just knows this has something to do with the divine sorceress. Ariel, Ookla, Ride!

After spending way too much time at Chang Gong's tomb, Xue Wu starts to leave only to turn around and face Zheng Er and her troop. The empress delights in informing Xue Wu all her prayers and flashbacks were for nothing as Chang Gong's body isn't even here.

Zheng Er is just about to stab Xue Wu in the belly to kill the baby when Thank the Drama Gods! here comes Yuwen Yung to the rescue. Where'd all that smoke come from? As Xiao Dong is helping Xue Wu get away, she drops the comb Chang Gong had bought her on their last day together. Zheng Er finds it.

The Qi are in hot pursuit of the fleeing Zhou. Arrows are flying everywhere and one of them hits Xue Wu in the back, knocking her off the horse. Xiao Dong runs back to where she is just as Zheng Er and her troops catch up. Zheng Er orders the arrows to be released. Xiao Dong uses his body to protect Xue Wu and block the flying missiles from hitting her.

Yung picks up Xue Wu to carry her away. Despite looking like a pin cushion, Xiao Dong has the strength left to lift up a large log and throw it at the Qi archers. They quickly regroup and shoot him up with even more arrows.

Cute Boy, no! People, I cannot convey just how upset I am at Xiao Dong's death.

Yung carries Xue Wu all the way to Zhou and the palace. The imperial physician is summoned immediately. What with all the arrow wounds and falls from horses and such, the doctor isn't sure he can save both mother and child. Xue Wu begs her "Weirdo" to save the baby. Yung promises her they will both make it, but secretly he orders the physicians to save the mother if it comes down to a choice.

Zheng Er has a major meltdown when she learns Xue Wu has now found asylum in Zhou. Gao Wei, who already can't sleep because of his guilt over Chang Gong, orders the empress to just let Xue Wu go. Zheng Er pretends to obey him but as soon as Gao Wei isn't looking she orders Zu Ting to do whatever it takes to kill Xue Wu. Also, Zheng Er is still sneaking out of the palace at night.

Yung finds his own court is divided as to whether it's a good idea or not to give shelter to Xue Wu. To settle the matter, Yung makes the surprise announcement that Xue Wu will now be his imperial concubine. If Qi/Zheng Er keeps sending assassins to kill the divine sorceress, it will be considered an act of war.

Prince of Lan Ling Episode 37

King Yuwen Yung is back on his big-ass CGI boat. Shen Ju, the man who knows everything, is there to inform the king about the Prince of Lan Ling's death. Yung is more concerned about the whereabouts of Xue Wu. A weak Xiao Dong is brought before the king. Cute Boy is here to personally deliver a letter written by Chang Gong to Yung. The prince knew Yung to be the only man strong enough to be able to protect Xue Wu from Gao Wei and especially Zheng Er. He therefore officially gives over his wife to the king's protection. Yung is truly sadden by his rival's death.

 

Xiao Dong begs Yung to find and save Xue Wu. They were separated in the valley near the border. Yung plans to take a small contingent into Qi territory to search for the divine sorceress.

 

Xue Wu awakens in the peasant's hovel to learn about Chang Gong's death and her own pregnancy.

 

Gao Wei's guilt drives him to drink. Zheng Er sneaks out of the palace for a mysterious reason.

 

The people are turning Lan Ling Manor into a shrine of sorts. Gao Wei realizes that killing Chang Gong didn't make anything better for him. In fact, things are worse.

 

With a baby now to think about, Xue Wu pulls herself together. She starts by inventing sulfur matches. (Which, according to Wikipedia, may actually have come from this time period and place.) She asks A-wen, the peasant guy who saved her from the river, to find the prince's tomb. Even though she knows it would be dangerous, Xue Wu wants to go pay her final respects to her husband.

 

 

Suddenly soldiers show up and Xue Wu must hide. The soldiers are here to gangpress A-wen into working on that damn Celestial Garden the emperor is building. A-wen begs to be spared as he's the only son left to take care of his elderly mother. The crooked captain says he just might spare A-wen, for a price. Overhearing all this, Xue Wu exposes herself to offer up one of her hairpins as a bribe. Luckily the crooked captain doesn't recognize the divine sorceress. He takes the hairpin and leaves, but Xue Wu fears he'll be back for more.

 

Crooked Captain returns to the city to see the latest China's Most Wanted posters. It's a drawing of Xue Wu, public enemy #1. Now Crooked Captain knows who the girl in the hovel really is. When Zheng Er hears Crooked Captain has seen Xue Wu, and that Xue Wu is pregnant, the empress makes him take her back to the peasants' homestead.

 

A-wen and his mommy are still there but Xue Wu is long gone. Zheng Er threatens to kill the son if they don't speak up. Mommy claims that evil Xue Wu put them under a spell to make them help her. The witch went down the path towards the west.

 

Zheng Er and her soldiers head that way. A-wen and Mommy hurriedly pack their bags to run away, not noticing he's dropped an important piece of paper on the floor. Zheng Er realizes the peasants lied to her and she heads back to the shack. While the soldiers are searching for the missing pair, Crooked Captain finds the paper. It's directions to Chang Gong's centopath. Zheng Er gleefully orders her men to head to the empty tomb as Xue Wu is walking right into their trap.

Prince of Lan Ling Episode 36

Before joining Xue Wu for lunch, Chang Gong secretly takes the pill An De slipped him. The prince has to do some finagling in order to get his wife to drink the spiked wine with him. The pill he took earlier will prevent Chang Gong from falling asleep like Xue Wu does. Xiao Cui disguises herself as the divine sorceress in order to distract the ninjas hanging around outside. This allows Xiao Dong time to slip out the back with the unconscious Xue Wu.

 

 

An De once again tries to talk his beloved brother out of this crazy thing. Chang Gong instructs An De to not seek any kind of vengeance against the emperor. An De just cries his little heart out. 

 

Alone in his chambers, Chang Gong takes out the ceremonial belt Xue Wu made in her village. (Although technically I thought Yuwen Yung had the belt back in Episode 6.) He reverently kisses the belt and then ties it around his waist.

 

Xiao Cui (who got away from the ninjas) seeks comfort in Prince An De's arms. Chang Gong pays off all his servants and sends them back to their hometowns. Faithful butler Wang refuses to leave his master's side.

 

Gao Wei, Zheng Er, and Zu Ting (Team Evil) arrive at Lan Ling Manor to check out how the whole dying process is going. They've brought along some poison wine. Zu Ting claims to have found a chest full of treasure in the prince's study; proof that Chang Gong was stealing from the country and thus deserves to die. Chang Gong reminds Gao Wei of his promise to become a benevolent ruler after the prince's death.

 

Zheng Er isn't happy that Xue Wu is nowhere to be found. She orders Zu Ting to find the divine sorceress and kill her. Zheng Er eagerly offers to pour the poison wine for Chang Gong. For just a brief second Gao Wei has a look of disgust on his face at his wife's actions. Just a second. The royal couple look on silently as Chang Gong drinks from the teeny tiny goblet. Blood begins to pour from his mouth as he slowly does the Nestea Plunge.

 

 

Xue Wu comes to in the carriage being driven by Xiao Dong. She orders him to stop but he has his orders. Xue Wu threatens to jump from the moving vehicle of he doesn't tell her what's going on. Xiao Dong knows she'll do it so he stops the carriage and tells her about the emperor's order of death. Xue Wu begs Cute Boy to take her back so she can be with her husband and Xiao Dong was just about to do it when Zu Ting and his soldiers start to catch up with them.

 

They try to escape only to be trapped by a steep cliff. (Where's that bright light coming from?) Xue Wu suggests they run the carriage over the cliff to delay their pursuers. Furthermore they should split up so at least one of them can avoid capture.

 

Xue Wu is running through the foggy forest, Zu Ting and his men are right behind. Whoops, there's that pesky steep cliff again. Xue Wu falls over the side.

 

Chang Gong's body lies in state at the palace. Gao Wei can't stop staring at the corpse. Is he really dead? Maybe he's not really dead. Zheng Er has the imperial physician double check just to assure the emperor. He's dead. He's deceased. He's kicked the bucket. He's bought the farm. He's bit the dust. He's crossed over. He's punched his ticket. He's better off in a pine box on a slow train back to Georgia.

 

Gao Wei still isn't assured. He takes a dagger and is about to stab the body but at the last second stops his hand. It's Zheng Er who puts her hand on top of his and makes Gao Wei stab Chang Gong's remains. Gao Wei gives her that look again:

 

 

I can only hope the emperor is starting to realize this bitch be crazy.

 

Zu Ting reports back to Zheng Er about Xue Wu falling over the cliff and into the rushing river below. Zheng Er sends the astrologer back out there. Until she sees Xue Wu's body, she won't believe the divine sorceress is dead.

 

The next morning a couple of peasants find Xue Wu washed upon the shore. They recognize who she is and take her back to their hovel. They bring in a physician who can tell just from her pulse that not only will Xue Wu be fine from her ordeal but she is also pregnant.

 

Zheng Er wants to have a cenotaph built for Chang Gong. Not out of any sense of respect towards the man. Zheng Er knows if Xue Wu is still alive she'll eventually make it to the monument to pay her respects. That's where Zheng Er will have her arch rival captured.

Prince of Lan Ling Episode 35

The peasants present for the wedding ceremony between the emperor and the divine sorceress start to protest. Xue Wu is the Prince of Lan Ling's wife. How can Gao Wei marry her? Zheng Er tries to explain to the people that Xue Wu isn't really a divine sorceress but a witch and she's the one to blame for the country's drought. The people shout back, "We know who the real witch is around here!" and start throwing rocks. It's like we're in the Ukraine all of a sudden.

 

With everyone distracted, Xue Wu pulls out her homemade bomb. She's about to light the fuse when Chang Gong and his men ride into the fray. The peasants start cheering and shouting out his name. Chang Gong has brought Canal Man (whose name I still don't know) with him. He announces to the people that this water disaster is man made. Although he doesn't outright say her name, Chang Gong implies Zheng Er is the blame.

 

Gao Wei says he has something to say to Chang Gong and will meet with the prince back at the palace. Chang Gong goes to retrieve his woman right as the heavens open up and a downpour begins. The peasants cheer that the rains came with the prince and he's saved the day once again.

 

 

Over at the palace, Chang Gong pleads with Gao Wei to get his act together and put Qi State first. Gao Wei claims he really does want to be a good king but there's one thing standing in his way: Prince of Lan Ling. Here's the deal - if Chang Gong will willingly give up his life, then Gao Wei promises to be a better leader.

 

To the emperor's surprise, Chang Gong agrees. Gao Wei actually starts to question his actions. Zheng Er presses her husband to stick to the plan. Let the prince die. He's too great of a threat to them.

 

Chang Gong returns home to Xue Wu, assuring her everything is alright but not telling her about the emperor's fatal demand. An De has heard about what's been going on in the city and has rushed back. He and Chang Gong are about to start talking serious when they realize Xue Wu is eavesdropping. Instead they speak about how the emperor is truly sorry for what he's done and won't retaliate against them.

 

After Xue Wu goes back inside, Chang Gong comes clean about what Gao Wei asked him to do. An De immediately starts planning on getting a carriage and some money together so Chang Gong and Xue Wu can escape tonight. Chang Gong puts a halt to the escape plans as it appears he's willing to fulfill Gao Wei's request. Whatever it takes to save the people from tyranny.

 

An De tries to talk the prince out of this crazy idea but Chang Gong stays firm. With tears in his eyes Lan Ling asks An De to look after Xue Wu.

 

Even Zheng Er is having some regrets as she thinks back to the early days when her crush on Chang Gong first began. The next morning both she and Gao Wei act like they're quite happy as they await the news about Lan Ling.

 

 

Chang Gong makes the most of what time he has left with the oblivious Xue Wu. He offers to comb her long hair so she won't see the sadness in his eyes. Xue Wu asks him to teach her how to fight with a sword so she'll be better able to defend herself. She still doesn't trust Gao Wei and believes the emperor will try something again.

 

After the lessons, the couple walk hand and hand through the marketplace. Chang Gong buys her a silver comb. Suddenly his spidey senses start to tingle. There are ninjas nearby! (Sent by the empress to make sure the prince does kill himself.) He rushes Xue Wu back to Lan Ling Manor.

 

Already there is An De. He, along with Xiao Cui and Xiao Dong, have put out some food and An De adds a drug to the wine. When the couple enter, everyone slaps on a happy face and excuses themselves so the Prince and his wife can have a romantic lunch together. As An De is leaving he slips a small pill to Chang Gong.

Prince of Lan Ling Episode 34

This wig is heavy on the side. It's a wonder Mao Lin Lin is able to hold her head up straight.

 

Chang Gong and Zheng Er take a walk along the battlements. When the Prince of Lan Ling asks what the empress wants, Zheng Er points at Xue Wu down below. Chang Gong warns that he will defend his wife with his own life.

 

Back at Hu Kou Barrier (remember that from way back when?) the soldiers are starving to death. Yang Shi Shen is facing a rebellion from the unpaid brigade. He assures the men he's sent a message to the prince and the prince won't let them down.

 

Chang Gong begs Gao Wei to pay his soldiers. The emperor will only agree to sending half of the wages owed and puts Chang Gong in charge of taking the money to the border. Turns out this is all a Zheng Er plan. She wants Chang Gong far away so she can strike against Xue Wu.

 

Chang Gong and Xue Wu say their goodbyes. She wants her husband to take one of their dirt dolls with him. As she's passing the figurine to Chang Gong it slips and falls to the floor. Omen!

 

Zheng Er meets with the man in charge of the water canals. She hands over to him some secret orders as well as some men to help him out with his instructions. Oh yes, and his family has been "invited" to stay at the palace, just in case he doesn't feel like following orders. Later the man reads the orders, supposedly from the emperor, commanding the floodgates to be opened.

 

Chang Gong and his retinue are moving slowly when he hears the sound of rushing water. He sends a man to investigate and learns about the floodgates being opened. Finding this strange, Chang Gong orders his men to ride back. They encounter Canal Man (I don't know his name) who is being held at swordpoint by the empress's men. Chang Gong and his stuntman leaps and swirls, performing some impressive sword moves, and frees Canal Man, who tells Chang Gong it was the emperor who commanded the water to be released.

 

Zheng Er is holding another prisoner death match, this one for her husband. I'm rather creeped out at how much Gao Wei is getting off at seeing people fight each other to the death. Zu Ting reports to them about the city's water reservoir has now been emptied (as planned) and that it won't rain for months.

 

 

Over in Zhou, Yuwen Shen Ju is already reporting about Qi's water crisis as well as how Gao Wei has cut his soldier's pay in half to be able to pay for the new garden. You are so on top of things, Shen Ju. I'd follow you on Twitter. 

 

The people of Qi are already suffering from the drought. One of Zu Ting's stooges, dressed as a peasant, tells the suffering people that there is usually water under big trees. Everyone starts to dig around this tree with lovely yellow leaves. While digging, a young man uncovers a statue of Buddha. Written on the back is some kind of prophecy concerning the divine sorceress marrying the chosen king. 

 

Other statues with the same prophecy are found elsewhere. The people are all talking about the wrath of the gods because Xue Wu didn't marry Gao Wei. An De suspects Zheng Er is behind this, but he's sent out of town by the emperor so now Xue Wu has no one to protect her. Not that she can't protect herself. She has a supply of gunpowder.

 

Gao Wei sends soldiers to go fetch the divine sorceress so he can marry her. Xiao Dong races to warn Xue Wu ahead of time. While Xiao Dong and the rest of the servants swear to defend their lady, Xue Wu commands them to not fight.

 

When Zu Ting and the military escort arrive, Xue Wu acts compliant and dresses up in her wedding finery. Ah, but what's that up her sleeve? Some of her private stock of fireworks. Xue Wu gives Xiao Cui a message to give to Chang Gong when he gets back. She says something along the lines of she'll make sure Chang Gong and Qi won't have to put up with a crappy emperor in the future. Um, you're not planning on becoming a suicide bomber, are you, Xue Wu?

 



Prince of Lan Ling Episode 33

 

Hulu Sr. and Duan Shao come to Lan Ling Manor to inform the prince that they've been suddenly ordered to report to the northern frontier. Supposedly they are to check the threat of invasion from the Turks. What this really does is strip Chang Gong of two of his strongest supporters.

 

Gao Wei is building a huge garden for his new empress. While they tour the worksite they encounter a man being whipped. The emperor stops to ask what is going on. The whipped man explains he has two young children to feed but his wages aren't enough so he stole some food.

 

Gao Wei has the whipped man and his family brought before the royal couple. Gao Wei makes the magnanimous offer of allowing one of the screaming babies to be killed in their father's place with the added benefit of the surviving baby getting more to eat. This gives Zheng Er the brilliant idea to start having every baby girl in Qi state killed. Somehow this slaughter of the innocents will help build a stronger army in the future.

 

What. The. Hell.

 

This Celestial Garden being built is crippling the royal treasury as well as causing a burden to the people. Xue Wu worries that Chang Gong won't be able to help himself and will end up arguing with the emperor.

 

The garden isn't being built fast enough. There aren't enough workers. Zheng Er once again comes up with a brilliant idea. There are no wars going on right now. Why not use the soldiers? Specifically, why not use the soldiers from Chang Gong's army?

 

Chang Gong tries to talk the emperor out of this. Not only does he not succeed, but the emperor makes the prince announce the soldiers will all be docked one month's pay in order to buy new clothes for the new empress. This is all part of an act so Gao Wei can step up and tell the men he would never ask them to make such a sacrifice. Chang Gong then publicly resigns from his military position.

 

As he's leaving the parade grounds, Gao Wei orders the prince to kneel for the next couple of hours. To show where their loyalty really lies, all the soldiers also kneel. The emperor orders them, even physically tries to make them stand back up but they refuse. I am Spartacus! It is only when Lan Ling orders them to that the soldiers stand up. Gao Wei gives Chang Gong such a "You are dead meat" look as he finally leaves.

 

 

A storm breaks as Chang Gong remains kneeling on the ground. I'm having a Bu Bu Jing Xin flashback. Sure enough here comes Xue Wu to stand by his side in the rain.

 

Later, Empress Zheng Er invites Chang Gong and Xue Wu over for some tea. This is a rather odd place to be having tea. Is that an arena set up there? Oh, I have a bad feeling about this.

 

 

Yep, that's an arena, alright. Zheng Er has invited the couple over for some tea and massacre. While armed soldiers surround the outside of Thunderdome, prisoners are marched into the small enclosure. A lotta men enter, one man leave, as the prisoners must fight each other to the death. Let the Hunger Games begin.

 

Chang Gong demands this brutality to be stopped. Zheng Er counters that it was his own Gao family who came up with this prisoner massacre in the first place. One can't go against family tradition. The one survivor, a boy who managed to live by sheer luck, is brought before the empress to be pardoned. In his exuberance of thanking Zheng Er he accidentally slings some of his blood on her dress. Zheng Er motions for a nearby soldier to kill the offending survivor.

 

Chang Gong asks just what does Zheng Er want? She tells him to walk with her, she'll tell him what she's after.