In front of his troops, Yuan Shao holds a ceremony to pledge himself and his army against the evil Cao Cao. From his prison cell, Tian Feng (remember that poor guy?) hears all the commotion and asks his guard about it. When he hears Yuan Shao is planning to march, Tian Feng begs for pen and ink so he can send a message to his lord to not go to battle just yet. Yuan Shao isn't pleased with Tian Feng's nagging and he flings the missive to the ground. One of the Yuan boys recommends Tian Feng be beheaded but Xu You is able to nip that particular plan in the bud. Yuan Shao climbs into his big ass Cadillac of a war chariot and they're all off to Xuchang, where Cao Cao and the emperor reside.
Cao Cao receives the news that Yuan Shao's army is 700,000 men strong, but he's not worried. It's not the quantity, it's the quality. Three Yuan Shao's can't equal one Cao Cao (those are his words.) The prime minister plans to take Yuan Shao down in one battle with only 70,000 men who are the cream of the crop, the best of the best. It's all or nothing. As Cao Cao climbs into his own big ass Cadillac of a war chariot, suck up Xun Yu reminds him the army had only 15 days worth of grain so they better be quick about it.
The two armies line up against each other and make a lot of noise. Cao Cao sets out a nice little picnic out in the middle of the battlefield and invites Yuan Shao over for some tea. Xu You doesn't trust Cao Cao and advises his lord not to go over, but Yuan Shao sees no harm in hearing what Cao Cao has to say.
After stalling for time and reminiscing about their long lost youth, Cao Cao gets down to business. He's supposedly suing for peace, offering to hand over several provinces to Yuan Shao. And look there, cowering in his wagon - it's the useless emperor. Cao Cao offers to hand him over to Yuan Shao as well. The two men dicker over possession of the city of Xuchang.
Xu You is getting worried. Alas, no one will listen to him. Not until it's too late. For Cao Cao has been stalling not only to allow his cavalry time to ride up behind Yuan Shao's forces, but also to let the sun move into just the right position. Yuan Shao's army are facing West and now the sun is in their eyes. Cao Cao suddenly drops his car salesman persona and tells Yuan Shao he'll never defeat him. Then Cao Cao does this sassy wiggle of his head. I can't describe it adequately, you'll just have to see it. Cao Cao goes laughing and waddling back to his own line (another thing you'll just have to see) and orders his men to engage in battle.
Epic Battle Scene! Probably one of the best in the series so far.
No comments:
Post a Comment