Three Kingdoms Episode 31

In the middle of the night, Liu Qi goes to warn Liu Bei about General Cai. He urges the imperial uncle to flee right now and head back to Xinye. Liu Bei, that twerp, claims it would be rude to leave in such a hurry without giving proper goodbyes to Liu Biao. (Liu Bei, sometimes I wish you would just get killed. This is no time for manners! Haul ass!)

 

By the time Cai Mao and his men surround the guest house, Liu Bei had finally wised up and made himself scarce. As Cai looks through the empty building he hits upon an idea. He writes a seditious poem on the wall, something about a dragon shouldn't be confined in a small pond. When Liu Biao comes to see what all the fuss is, Cai Mao shows the old man the poem and swears it was written by Liu Bei. Liu Biao isn't buying it. There's a telling moment when the old man orders the troops to return to camp but no one makes a move until Cai Mao says to return.

 

The old man is so angry he makes himself sick. Lady Cai plots to keep her husband alive yet sick enough, long enough, until she can gain complete control of the province.

 

Liu Bei made it back to Xinye. Liu Qi stops by with a request from his ailing father that the imperial uncle accompany the young man to a harvest festival at another town. Zhang Fei is totally against it but Liu Bei is back on the etiquette bandwagon, saying it would be rude to refuse Liu Biao's request.

 

As Liu Bei and Liu Qi are moving through a crowded marketplace, they're accosted by a strange man by the name of Xu Shu. This man warns Liu Bei to not ride his horse any more as the animal will bring his bad luck. Instead, he should give the horse to his enemy so the animal can harm them instead. Liu Bei seemed spooked by this strange fellow.

 

While everyone is wining and dining inside a building, outside Cai Mao and his men ride up and surround the place. Liu Qi again urges Liu Bei to discreetly slip away through a side door. Liu Bei hems and haws a bit, claiming he's been running away most of his life, he's tired of it, but at last Liu Qi manages to talk his elder into leaving. (Liu Bei sure has changed since he hit the big 5-0.)

 

Riding the bad luck horse he was warned not to ride, Liu Bei is chased by Cai Mao and his men. He finds himself trapped on the banks of a wide river, Cai Mao closing in. The horse jumps into the water, swims across the river and jumps up the impossibly high bank on the other side. Who said this horse was bad luck?

 

Tired, dirty, and alone, Liu Bei comes across the hovel of an old man known only as Water Mirror. Things get a little metaphysical as Water Mirror explains the river Liu Bei just crossed was the sight of a great battle many years ago. The river is filled with the souls of heroes and the unavenged, and that must be why Liu Bei and his hexed horse were able to make it across.

 

Over dinner, Liu Bei and Water Mirror discuss life, the universe and everything. Water Mirror tells Liu Bei that his brothers (the Musketeers) are great warriors, but he has no worthy advisers for civil matters. But don't worry, one day Liu Bei will meet the man of his dreams (Zhuge Liang).

 

Later that night the two men are joined by that strange man from earlier, Xu Shu. He explains the thing about the bad luck horse was a test to see how virtuous and compassionate Liu Bei is. Liu Bei begs the man to become his right hand advisor. Xu Shu at first claims he's not worthy of the position. Water Mirror convinces him to take it.

 

Back to Xinye, which appears to be an awfully dusty place. Xu Shu knows Cao Cao will need at least a year to rebuild and re-equip his army after battling with Yuan Shao. After that, the enemy is sure to come here to conquer Jing Province. As Xu Shu lays out his plans for action, Guan yu and Zhang Fei start to itch with jealousy. You gotta hand it to Xu Shu, though, that since he joined the rat pack, Liu Bei seems more energetic and decisive.

 

There's a quick shot of Cao Cao announcing his plans to attack Liu Bei, then the show ends abruptly mid-scene. (What am I going to do with you, Chinese TV? What am I going to do with you?)