Cao Cao Top's ministers convince him to attack "Emperor" Yuan Shu. I can only hope that Cao Cao's woolly bully beard is a casualty of war. After a grand ceremonial send-off, the army begins its march. Cao Cao is riding in the imperial chariot. As they are traveling through farmland, Cao Cao's horses are spooked by a bird. By the time his driver regains control the chariot has trampled through some wheat fields. Cao Cao reminds his men that he made it a law that anyone in the army that damages any crops is to be put to death immediately. He instructs Xun Yu to cut off his head as Cao Cao cannot be above the law. Xun Yu manages to talk Cao Cao out of the beheading part. Instead, Cao Cao cuts off his (beard! beard!) topknot (darn).
Meanwhile, Lu Bu is drinking chocolate milk. Oh, wait, that's a mustache! (Show, if you're going to have facial hair, at least have good facial hair.) Anyway, Yuan Shu sends an offer to Lu Bu to marry his son and heir to Lu Bu's daughter, who has never been seen nor mentioned until this moment. Ever the impulsive one, Lu Bu agrees. Chen Gongtai happens to show up just in time to prevent the still-unseen daughter from being taken away. He chastises Lu Bu like, "I've only been out of town for a few days and you've already done something completely stupid!" Just then an imperial/Cao Cao decree is delivered, making Lu Bu officially the protector of Xu Province and ordering him to send troops. Chen advises the moron to accept the appointment but send no men. I restrain myself from wiping the chocolate milk off of Lu Bu's upper lip. It is So Bad.
The Three Musketeers oversee their CGI troops as they are the only ones to come join up with Cao Cao's forces. Privately, Cao Cao takes a poll of his ministers: should he kill Liu Bei or not? In the end he decides to allow Liu Bei to live. For now.
Cao Cao's forces have surrounded the capital of Yuan Shu's empire. Yuan gives some hasty orders but Old Man With No Name jumps in and recommends their best bet is to just lock the gates and stay put until Cao Cao's food supplies run out. If only we knew your name, Wise Old Man.
Sure enough, the Supply Officer informs Cao Cao that the food is running out. At most they have enough for three more days. Cao Cao orders the rations to be cut in half. The soldiers don't like this and threaten to rebel. Cao Cao has the supply officer beheaded. After sticking a terribly fake head on a pole, the men are told the officer had been stealing from the granary. The last of the rations are given to the men to strengthen them to take the city within three days.
Battle scenes! Those are always good. Cao Cao is victorious and Yuan Shu is on the run. Cao Cao tries to convince Liu Bei to serve under him but Liu Bei politely refuses. When Cao Cao warns that sooner or later he will come to Xu Province, Liu Bei in return warns that he'll be forced to join with Lu Bu and fight unto the death. With a bit of cheek Liu Bei asks, "If you're not going to kill me now, please allow me to leave."
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