Cao Cao is stuffing his face with the longest pair of chopsticks I've ever seen when he receives a letter from Liu Bei. Then my internet connection gets flaky. Argh, why must this day be so trying?? Liu Bei tries to convince Cao Cao into forgiving old man Tao Qian and withdrawing the siege of the city. Cao Cao replies that when his men take the city, every man, woman, and child will be slaughtered. Elsewhere, as Cao Cao has been away busy with Xuzhou, there's trouble back at his home base of Yanzhou. Trouble in the form of the flowing Fabio locks of Lu Bu. This is when Cao Cao learns that his old buddy, Chen Gongtai, is the brains behind Lu Bu's brawn. Having to chose which city is more important, Cao Cao changes his message to Liu Bei and agrees to a truce.
Inside the city walls the Xu leaders are literally on their knees thanking Liu Bei for saving them and begging him to take over the province. Once again Liu Bei respectfully refuses and attempts to leave. Tao Qian, desperate to keep Liu Bei nearby in case Cao Cao returns, offers a border city of Xiaopei for the Three Musketeers and their men to garrison in. Tao will provide all their food and supplies. Liu Bei at least agrees to this.
Later (it doesn't say how much time has passed), Liu Bei is called to the side of the dying Tao Qian. (He's probably dying from the smoke coming from all those candles. Can you say fire hazard?) Tao has heard that Cao Cao was able to defeat Lu Bu and the old man worries Cao Cao will return to take the city. With his last gasp Tao Qian orders Liu Bei to become the protector of Xu Province.
In the middle of funeral rites the alarm bell is sounded. Lu Bu and his army are at the city gates, wishing to speak to Liu Bei. Lu Bu wants to join up with Liu Bei against Cao Cao. (And, if the opportunity arises, Lu Bu/Chen Gongtai will take over Xuzhou.) Say, I just noticed that guy playing Zhao Yun ain't bad looking. Liu Bei is willing to consider an alliance. After all, Lu Bu did kill Dong Zhuo. Loudmouth and Longbeard aren't too keen on the idea. Lu Bu can't be trusted. Zhao Yun looks on, saying nothing. Don't you have any lines, Zhao? Wait, he does have one line. Zhao, you need to get a better agent.
Liu Bei allows Lu Bu into the city. They have a little dinner party where Lu Bu gets totally shit faced and starts bragging about how he's going to conquer the world. Longbeard slyly asks if Lu Bu is so great, why was Cao Cao able to defeat him. You go, Longbeard. Nanny Chen Gongtai is finally able to get the young drunkard out of the room and remind him to straighten up and act right. For now.
Cao Cao is still stewing over Xuzhou and plans to immediately try another invasion. He's talked into waiting, for surely Lu Bu and Liu Bei will eventually fall out with each other, presenting a better opportunity to attack.
Lu Bu has settled into Xuzhou and invites Liu Bei over for lunch. Diaochan dances and sings for entertainment. (Is that the actress actually singing? Whoever it is, she has a lovely voice.) Elsewhere in the city Guan Yu and Zhang Fei fret that Lu Bu is using the legendary beauty Diaochan to seduce their brother. (Liu Bei does have that dreamy, love-struck look about him at the banquet.) Hilariously, Loudmouth crashes the party and challenges Lu Bu to a fight. Liu Bei is embarrassed and scolds his brother away. Lu Bu, restrained by his wife, says he must leave the city. Liu Bei still has use for the young general and so offers him the exact same proposal Tao Qian offered Liu Bei earlier: to garrison at Xiaopei and let Xuzhou pay for everything.
Meanwhile, Cao Cao receives a letter from the emperor in Chang'an. After silently reading the letter, Cao Cao and his people exchange somber looks. And then the episode ends. Ah, darn you, show! Any other time your endings are rather lame. Finally you succeed at a cliffhanger. What did the letter say?
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