Lu Bu is enjoying life and poor Chen Gongtai has to literally drag the young warrior to the battlefield to save Xiaopei. Lu Bu invites Liu Bei and Big Fat Ji Ling to a feast. Boorish Zhang Fei invites himself to the shindig. Lu Bu makes a wager with the combatants: if he can hit a far target with his bow and arrow, then they'll call the battle off. Naturally Lu Bu hits the target. Even Loud Mouth is impressed.
Big Fat Ji Ling must return and report to his boss, Yuan Shu, that the war was called off. Yuan wants to immediately mobilize and march directly against Lu Bu, but Old Man With No Name (what is his name??) jumps in and cools Yuan's down. Just then it is announced Sun Ce has come to visit. Remember Sun Ce from way back? Oh my gosh, he's got a horrible mustache now. Yuan Shu wonders why Sun Ce is here since Yuan had ordered Sun to go and conquer the far away city of Lujiang. Sun Ce answers that he's already conquered the city and here is the head of the governor to prove his story. So suck on it, Yuan.
Sun Ce goes to pray at his father's tomb, relating to the dearly departed how the family had fallen on hard times, forcing Sun Ce to submit to serving Yuan Shu. Suddenly a man throws a sword at Sun Ce. This is Zhou Yu, an old friend (who happens to throw swords at his friends). He wants to join up with Sun Ce and urges his friend to cut ties with Yuan Shu.
Sun Ce receives word that his hometown is under attack. He goes to Yuan Shu to ask for permission to leave and to borrow some troops. Yuan hems and haws and finally allows Sun to go, but he can't spare any troops for right now. Sun Ce offers up that gosh darn ugly Imperial Seal to his master. Yuan is beside himself with joy and asks Sun how many men does he need. Sun just asks for four, all former retainers of the late Claude Rains. Yuan Shu agrees to let them all go. Old Man With No Name looks distressed.
Yuan Shu just can't get enough of his new precious. (Why don't you just marry the damn seal?) He's not getting any younger, so since he has the Jade Imperial Seal, why not declare himself emperor? Old Man With No Name tries to talk him out of it but doesn't succeed.
When a graying Yuan Shao gets word of what his brother has done, some of his courtiers urge Shao to assume the imperial throne. (Well hell, since everybody else is doing it, I declare myself emperor!) Thankfully, a few level-headed ministers are able to talk Shao down and just wait for Yuan Shu to shoot himself in the foot.
Lastly, we get a shot of Cao Cao (who has taken to gluing wool to his face) reacting to Yuan Shu's declaration. Honestly, the episode ends with Cao Cao in mid-sentence. Why can't Chinese TV get an ending right?
No comments:
Post a Comment