Almost Human Episode 1

A buddy cop drama?!? Who would have thunk it? Starring Caesar. Julius Caesar (for us old folks) and some other guy.

 

 

 

The year is 2048, and as we all know here in the present, the future sucks. (Hunger Games. Divergent. Just about every other friggin' YA novel out there right now.) With crime out of control and the police heavily outnumbered, the new plan is to pair every cop with an android. No, this isn't Robocop. Well, maybe a little bit.

 

The scene opens with a heavy gun battle straight out of a video game. Detective John Kennex is determined to come to the rescue of his fallen partner. The other androids refuse to help Kennex as the wounded Pehlam has a very low chance of survival and they must protect the other humans. So Isaac Asimov be damned!

 

As Kennex struggles to carry Pehlam away they're shot at by some massive weapon. Pehlam is finished off and Kennex has his leg graphically shot off. Eww.  Before he can crawl away from the carnage, the evil criminals throw a futuristic grenade and Kablooey!

 

Two years and one coma later, Kennex struggles to remember the details of that fateful day and identify the criminals behind the slaughter. As Kennex walks the streets of Bladerunner he has a strange encounter with an android cop who mentions something about people coming over The Wall.

 

The next morning Kennex gets called into police headquarters which is located in the much nicer, much cleaner part of the city. (Looks a great deal like Oasis Landing from the Sims 3 game.) His return to work has mixed reviews from the other cops.

 

There's been a crime recently that may have been done by the same "Insyndicate" that was behind the battle from the first scene. A truck is attacked by masked Anonymous/V members. One of the thieves was shot during the robbery and he's currently being treated at the hospital. Kennex goes to check it out, displeased that he's obligated to have an android partner go with him.

 

The truck that was robbed had been transporting "programmable DNA" as well as something called Myklon Red. This red stuff makes Kennex have a flashback of the botched raid. There had been cannisters of Myklon Red at the sight. Back to the present/future, another (human) cop, Detective Valerie Stahl, explains how this robbery was in the territory of the Khmer Black Gang but she doesn't think they're the ones behind this. As Kennex and his android partner are returning to HQ, Kennex gets tired of the robot, opens the car door and literally throws his partner under the bus. (And how many billions of dollars did that cost the taxpayers, Detective Kennex?)

 

Depeche Mode time!

 

Kennex needs a replacement and goes to see Rudy (the skinny one-eyed guy from the Pirates of the Caribbean movies.) All Rudy has in stock right now is a DRN, or Dorian. Kennex is rather wary of this as Dorian comes from a model series that is known to have problems.

 

Elsewhere, the evil 'N Sync are looking at their Kindle Fires and start shouting, "He's on the move!" Ah, but who is "he" exactly?

 

Officer Whitey McWhite is stopping to grab a cup of coffee when Anonymous strikes again. Officer Whitey's android is damaged in the attack but is still able to record his partner's abduction. Back at HQ Kennex takes a page from The Shield and starts beating up the one Anonymous member they have in custody. Dorian figures out that the suspect from the robbery actually shot himself. The suspect, Trevor, admits he did it as a way to get away from 'N Sync as they're evil. He gives Kennex an address where the kidnapped officer might be.

 

While Kennex and his crew race to the address, Trevor asks to go to the bathroom. Alone in the stall, Trevor gags himself in order to regurgitate some electronic doodad that he sticks to the back of the toilet. Eww.

 

Kennex and Dorian find Whitey McWhite sealed inside a booby-trapped box. Kennex attempts to call the cop who is transporting Trevor to warn her this is a setup. The call is abruptly interrupted when the cop car is attacked and Anonymous rescues Trevor. Meanwhile the booby trap is tripped and the sealed box is filled with a gas that melts poor Whitey McWhite. Eww.

 

Rudy is sent a sample of Whitey's blood. After some exposition of how futuristic cops have to be regularly inoculated and stuff, Rudy says the melted man had Myklon Red and programmable DNA in his blood specifically targeting the inoculation. Whatever. It's designer disease created to target the police force.

 

Kennex goes all Total Recall as he goes to a black market recollectionist in order to dig up more memories of the first raid. The recollectionist warns its too dangerous for Kennex to do this. Kennex is like, "Oh, well, if its dangerous then I won't do it."

 

Of course he doesn't say that!

 

As blood pours from his nose, Kennex starts to seizure as he goes back to that dog day afternoon. Only this time he's able to make a break through and see the person who threw the grenade at him. It was his ex-girlfriend! OMG, Neil Sedaka was right - breaking up is hard to do!

 

The evil 'N Sync are on the roof of the police station. They set up a piece of equipment that will knock out all the cop androids. Dorian is an older model so what's the frequency Kenneth doesn't work on him. Next the Insyndicate is planning to take out the human police force with their designer disease gas when a firefight breaks out and the evil 'N Sync are killed or captured.

 

The reason the criminals were hitting Cop HQ is because of something that's being stored in the Raiders of the Lost Ark evidence warehouse. The problem is the cops don't know what exactly "it" is evil 'N Sync was willing to kill for. That's for later episodes. If there are later episodes, that is.