When Cao Cao hears that his childhood friend Xu You has come to visit, he abandons his pedicure and rushes outside without even bothering to put his shoes on. Xu You is trading sides, which, come to think of it, was exactly what dead man walking Tian Feng warned Yuan Shao would happen. So score one for the dead.
Xu You tells how Yuan Shao has all his foodstuffs stored at Wuchao and suggests Cao Cao make an immediate night raid on the badly guarded supply depot. The two men talk strategy and at one point Xu You basically asks, "How do you know I'm not setting you up for an ambush?" Cao Cao claims he can tell when someone is lying to him. Myself, I'm a little suspicious of Xu You.
Cao Cao takes a small contingent and raids Wuchao. Many stuntmen are set on fire.
A sleeping Yuan Shao is woken up and told about Wuchao. His grown sons urge him to muster the army and go defend the granaries. The old man has a better idea. He figures Cao Cao must have taken his entire army to attack Wuchao, meaning his main camp is practically empty. That's where Yuan Shao is headed.
It just so happens Cao Cao was expecting the Spanish Inquisition. As Yuan Shao's cavalry ride into the empty-looking fort, the men and horses immediately disappear down into deep holes that had been covered with hay. Numerous archers suddenly pop up out of nowhere and starting shooting down at the fish in a barrel. Yuan Shao tucks tail and orders a retreat.
As they're running away, a soldier intercepts them to report that Cao Cao had just attacked Yuan Shao's main camp. Now he and his men have nowhere to go. This makes Yuan Shao so mad he spits up blood. Once again his sons urge him to fight Cao Cao to the death. Instead, Yuan Shao insists they continue the retreat and return to Jizhou.
Riding through a canyon they hear flute music. Up there on the cliff is Xu You come to play and gloat. He shouts down to Yuan Shao's generals and urges them to abandon their foolish lord and his useless sons. Yuan Shao orders his men to ride up the hill and hack the traitor to pieces. One of the generals warns there must certainly be an ambush up there but Yuan Shao isn't hearing any of it.
The men follow the old man's orders and ride up. Sure enough it is an ambush. Once again the paper mache boulders and logs are thrown around. Yuan Shao orders yet another retreat.
They stop for a rest and he asks how many men he has left. His once great army of 700,000 troops have been reduced to a mere one hundred. Finally acknowledging the Will of Heaven is against him, Yuan Shao attempts to cut his throat with his own sword. His sons manage to stop him but that doesn't keep Yuan Shao from spitting up blood. He falls back into his sons' arms and dies. (At least I think he's dead.)
The Four Musketeers hear about Yuan Shao's catastrophic defeat. They have only 3,000 men themselves and are worried about Cao Cao's forces. They need to get out of here fast. They were on their way to join up with Liu Biao but now Liu Bei is starting to have second thoughts. Still, they need to get somewhere so Liu Bei sends his aide-de-camp, Sun Qian, on ahead to sound this Liu Biao out and see if he's receptive to taking them in.
Sun Qian arrives in Jingzhou and puts his master's case before old man Liu Biao. Biao's son, Liu Qi, advises his father to accept Liu Bei and the others into the fold. General Cai is totally against it. Look at what happened to the other warlords who allied themselves with Liu Bei (like Lu Bu and Yuan Shao. You know, he's kind of got a point there.) In the end Sun Qian is able to talk Liu Biao into welcoming the Four Musketeers and their troops.
At a welcoming feast, Liu Bei tries to light a fire under old man Liu Biao's butt and get him to rally his forces and attack Cao Cao's main city of Xuchang. Liu Biao sees no reason to start trouble when he's had no trouble and advises Liu Bei to settle in. You can tell Liu Bei is disappointed but what can he do but smile and thank his benefactor.
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