The Devil's Waltz
Mina wakes up to discover Edward Cullen Alexander Grayson is in her bedroom watching her sleep. Dracula warns her she's making a terrible mistake in marrying Jonathan Harker and perhaps there's a part of her who realizes this is true. Mina refuses to call off the wedding but indicates its more than fine with her if Grayson wants to crawl into her bed and start getting it on.
Oh, so this is Mina's wet dream.
Dracula and Van Helsing are down in the steampunk basement where they plan to test out the professor's sunlight serum on a spare vampire they keep for just such an occasion. Only now does Dracula ask, "Where's Renfield?"
Here's Renfield: beaten and tied to a chair while being questioned by the very proper Miss Janina Kleiberson. She brings out her tablecart of torture tools and begins her work, giving Renfield a manicure - from the inside out.
Harker is gathering up dirt on General Shaw. He's getting kickbacks from an arms manufacturer. Harker excitedly reports back to his employer but Grayson doesn't want to hear about any of this crap right now. He's worried about Renfield. Harker goes rushing off to make inquiries at the hospitals and morgues and has little time to talk with Mina although their engagement party is tonight. Mina is miffed because of the guest list and how Harker hasn't invited any of his old (poor) chums to the party.
Lucy is also upset because she learned Mina had a wet dream last night and she wasn't a part of it.
Kleiberson continues torturing Renfield. Its quite icky, what we hear as much as see.
Dracula figures Renfield has been abducted by the Order. He's anxious to come to Renfield's rescue but, being a vampire and all, Dracula must wait until the sun goes down. That is, unless Van Helsing's experiment is a success.
Ah, but this gives us time for a flashback! We go back twelve years earlier. Night. A train travels through what I take to be the American Southwest. Grayson is on board the train (and back to using his British accent (screw Transylvania!)) and trying to see Mr. Havershim, who is surrounded by armed goons. Grayson is wanting to buy some businesses off of Havershim and offers gold for them.
Things get tense when all the goons start cocking their guns. Renfield, who at this time is working as a porter, tries to diffuse the situation by politely offering Grayson some advice as well as a whiskey. Johnny Walker to the rescue!
Harker comes back with a lead on what happened to Renfield. Grayson and Van Helsing begin experimenting on the spare vampire strapped down to a table. First step is to shock the hell out of her to see if they can get her heart back to pumping. After injecting the unnamed vampire with the serum, Van Helsing opens the skylight and lets the sun in. She's good for about fifteen seconds then bursts into flames.
Night falls and finally Dracula can jump into action. Too bad he takes the horseless carriage as a toddler could probably walk faster than that thing. Dracula uses his vampire sense of smell to track which way they took Renfield.
Meanwhile back at the manor the engagement party gets underway and for once I find myself liking Mina's dress. Harker has made a concession to his fiancé by inviting one of his friends from the newspaper.
Renfield has been untied from the chair and is surrounded by Kleiberson's "assistants" who take turns kicking the man. This reminds Renfield of the train trip. He had just offered Grayson the whiskey (and a whispered warning about the danger) when Havershim and his "assistants" knock Renfield to the floor and take turns kicking him. Renfield has a limited vision of Grayson going into action and taking out the goons. There's also a brief glimpse of Grayon carrying Havershim's head.
Back to the past/present, Kleiberson keeps asking who Grayson loves as her men keep kicking. Renfield starts laughing as he's spied the shadowy figure of Dracula up above. Dracula leaps down to the floor and attacks. OMG, he tore some guy's arm off! OMG! I can't believe NBC showed that!
Kleiberson just stands there like an idiot when she should have been running while Dracula was busy dismembering her team.
Grayson arrives back at the party about the same time when Lady Wetherby and her breasts arrive. Dracula informs Harker that he's found and retrieved Renfield although he still doesn't know who was behind the abduction. Jayne notices Lucy's looks of longing directed to an oblivious Mina.
Grayson tells Jayne about Renfield being kidnapped and such. This is so Dracula can use his vampire lie detector sense to see if Jayne was a part of the whole scheme. She passes. (I'm surprised she's not passing out. How does she breathe with her breasts pushed up like that?) Harker introduces his boss to Mr. Browning, Lord Davenport and some other folks. Grayson shakes hands with all of them then surreptitiously smells his hand as he's trying to literally sniff out the culprit. There's a match! So at least Dracula knows its one of the four men he just met.
Jayne confronts Lord Davenport about Renfield. Was this Order business? Davenport acts like he doesn't know what she's talking about. I wonder if she was using her breasts as a lie detector.
Harker thinks the best way to thank Grayson for allowing them to use Carfax Manor for the party is to give Grayson the first dance with Mina. At first Mina is a little stiff but as they twirl around she remembers the erotic dream from before and starts to loosen up. Lucy notices this. Lady Jayne and her breasts notice this. Harker notices this but at least he's able to politely cut in on the dance.
That night everyone has to deal with thwarted desires. Dracula gently tends to Renfield's injuries as he thinks back to when he first employed the large man. Renfield had been trained as a lawyer but faced obstacles because of his race which is how he ended up tending the bar on the train. Dracula confides that he too knows what its like to face obstacles because of his difference. Renfield insists he can't work for anyone without complete trust. Dracula agrees that Renfield will know all his secrets.
No comments:
Post a Comment