Rebel Angel Episode 3 - 4

Blond bitch Cristal is slap-happy mad at Lucia. Over what, I'm not sure. The birth of her hatred must have been left on the cutting room floor when they edited 200 + episodes down to just twenty-six.

 

Their fight draws everyone in the house down to the living room. Okay, I'm guessing here but I think back when Lucia was still a bus driver she was somehow involved in an accident with Cristal that totaled the bitch's car. Enriqueta (for the umpteenth time) fires Lucia. We're also introduced for the first time to red head Mariela, sister of Cristal and wife of Leonel.

 

Oh, it turns out Camilo, the guy who is in love with Natasha, is the brother of Dr. Claudio. BTW, Claudio has formerly asked Elena for permission to court Lucia.

 

Raul and his gigantic headband are walking along the road when Cristal stops to give him a lift. They end up totally making out on the side of the road. I don't think this constitutes an emergency.

 

For the umpteenth time Raul is jealous. For the umpteenth time Lucia is jealous. For the umpteenth time they get into a fight. When are you going to become a rebellious angel, Lucia? To be honest, so far y'all are the most boring couple on this show, and here you're supposed to be the stars!

 

Raul breaks up with Rubi. Blaming Lucia, Rubi gets into a hair-pulling fight with her rival while they're on a bus.

 

Raul and Lucia get back together. She wants to keep their relationship a secret, especially from her mother.

 

Some woman I've never seen before tells Natasha about Cristal having an affair with Ernesto. Cristal claims the other woman is a liar and they get into a cat fight.

 

Balbina, Enriqueta's head housekeeper, encounters a very much alive Elena. Elena begs the other woman not to tell anyone, especially Enriqueta.

 

Raul and Lucia make hot, sweet, fade-to-black, off-screen love to each other. Raul wants to marry her and struggles to find a way to get enough money to do it. Elena discovers her daughter has a secret boyfriend. She's enraged. Only because there could be a chance Lucia is pregnant does Elena allow the couple to get married. But they can't see (or more importantly, touch!) each other until the wedding.

 

Balbina tells Alejandro that Lucia is his daughter and that Elena is alive. For some reason he chooses not to reveal his real identity to his family. Perhaps he thinks he's protecting them as he pursues his mild vengeance against Enriqueta.

 

Raul's uncle, who doesn't approve of the marriage, throws the young man out of the house. As Raul is jaywalking across the street, Cristal accidentally hits him with her sports car. She takes him back to the mansion to nurse Raul back to health. Raul has to fight her off.

 

Elena goes to answer the door and is shocked speechless to see it's her mother. Enriqueta demands to know why her daughter has been in hiding for twenty years. Elena accuses Enriqueta of sending Joaquin (the dead guy from the first episode) to kill Alejandro and to rape Elena. Enriqueta calls her daughter "Stupido!" over and over as she slaps Elena around.

 

Because Lucia is the daughter of her grandmother's blood enemy, Enriqueta warns that Lucia will never be accepted into the Covarrubias family.

Rebel Angel Episode 1 - 2

This is another one of those telenovelas that have been edited to the bone so you've got to be prepared to protect yourself from whiplash.

 

 

We get a brief shot of young Lucia, who works as a bus driver and is well known and loved by her regulars.

 

ZOOM! We now go to the leopard-print deathbed of Manuela who is begging Elena, Lucia's mother, to tell Lucia about Alejandro Valderrama, the father she's never met. Elena has been in hiding for the past twenty years because...

 

ZOOM! During a raging storm she was almost raped by a man her mother had sent. Alejandro had just come to her rescue, stopping the sexual assault in time. The would-be rapist escapes out into the storm with Alejandro hot on the guy's heels. He catches up to the criminal and during their fight the other man is accidentally killed. Alejandro urges Elena to run and hide so her (extremely evil) mother can't find her. Alejandro goes to prison for murder. But now his time is served and he's about to become a free man, intent on finding his lost love and the child he's never known. Oh, and also work in some revenge against Enriqueta Covarrubias. That's a mouthful of a name.

 

ZOOM! It's Patricio from Wild Cat! And there's the fat housekeeper as well! Ah, familiar faces. In fact the guy playing Alejandro looks familiar like he was also in Wild Cat. But I digress...  Anyway, Manuela dies and everyone cries.

 

Alejandro, fresh from prison, has moved in with his friend, Claudio the doctor. Alejandro goes out for a stroll around the neighborhood and happens to bump into Lucia, but of course he doesn't realize this is his child.

 

Lucia is sweet on Raul, who is kind enough to give us his backstory in a few sentences. Orphaned. Living with aunt and uncle. Aunt doesn't want him around. He drives the strangest little golf cart thingy I've ever seen.

 

Elsewhere in Miami (I still don't understand why Venezuelan shows aren't filmed in Venezuela) we get to know blond bitch Cristal. She's the granddaughter of Enriqueta and is scheming to become Grandma's only heir to the family's chain of jewelry stores. Standing in Cristal's way are her two sisters, Natasha and Mariela. And what about that mysterious Aunt Elena? Did she really drown in the river as everyone assumes?

 

Lucia has gotten fired from her job and cries on the sympathetic shoulder of her new neighbor, Alejandro. ZOOM! Lucia gets a job as a maid at the Covarrubias estate. She must work hard to win over her cantankerous boss (and secret grandmother), Enriqueta.

 

It wouldn't be a Venezuelan telenovela if Lucia didn't have all these other men falling in love/lust with her. One of them is Dr. Claudio, secret dad's friend and roommate. The other guy is Juan, who just now showed up so I have no idea what his story is. I think he's the gardener at the Covarrubias place. Lastly there's Raul's skanky (and married) uncle.

 

Meanwhile, Lucia's secret cousin, Natasha, is having problems in her marriage with Ernesto. Her co-worker and potential love interest, Camilo, tries to push Natasha into dropping her husband once and for all. Cristal doesn't help the marriage any by seducing Ernesto.

 

Alejandro finally confronts Enriqueta and demands to know where Elena is. Enriqueta delights in telling her enemy that the love of his life as well as his child are both dead. Alejandro doesn't believe her.

 

Lucia is still having trouble with that crazy Juan. He attacks Lucia, threatening her with a knife. When Elena comes to her daughter's aid, she's the one who ends up stabbed. (I wasn't expecting that!) She's rushed to the hospital where Dr. Claudio is able to save Elena's life. Later, Alejandro comes to the hospital room as a courtesy call on Lucia's mother. But Elena is asleep and on her side so Alejandro doesn't see that the woman is his long lost love.

 

Lucia and Raul keep falling in and out of love (which gets old really fast). Right now they're on the outs. To make Raul jealous, Lucia claims she's going to be the girlfriend of Juan (the man who stabbed her mother!) In retaliation, Raul acts like he's interested in the local slut, Rubi.

Wild Cat Episode 21

Like the rat she is, Camelia abandons this sinking ship and sneaks off in the middle of the night.

 

Rosaura has given her word to marry Silvano and she intends to keep it even though she doesn't really love him the way he loves her.

 

Carina is sliding down a deep slope. She asks to go home as she doesn't want to die in a hospital.

 

Jaqueline wants Rosaura to break up with Silvano as she's in love with him herself.

 

Crooked Nurse confesses to Rosaura about how, under the orders of Patricio, she helped Rosaura give birth up in the attic and that the baby Angeliquita is truly hers. Rosaura swears to Luis Mario she'll never forgive him because he didn't tell her the truth about the baby. Angeliquita is now renamed Gabrielita.

 

Rosaura throws Patricio out of the house and orders him to never bother her again. Patricio has been kind of pathetic these last couple of episodes, doing a lot of crying. Unable to face life with the woman he loves hating him, Patricio leaps from a tall building. He survives the fall but just barely. He's all fractured and wrapped up. In his hospital bed Patricio repents to Rosaura and tells her all the bad things he's done as well as what Eduarda and Eva have done.

 

Rosaura goes to confront Eduarda about her role in the death of Rosaura's drunk dad. Eduarda runs away with Rosaura chasing her down the street. What goes around comes around and this time it is Eduarda who gets hit by a car.

 

A donor match is found for Carina and she survives her leukemia.

 

Jaquelina and Luis Mario work together to make it appear they are a couple in order to make Silvano and Rosaura jealous.

 

Crazy Eva is back and she kidnaps Gabrielita. She makes arrangements for Rosaura to meet her in the swamp. With the cops and the cast hiding nearby, Rosaura brings Eva's sister Silvia along in hopes of talking Eva out of doing anything crazy. It doesn't work. While Rosaura struggles with Eva, Silvia is able to safely retrieve the baby. Eva takes Rosaura hostage and takes a boat out into the swamp. With the cops closing in both on water and in the air, Eva is knocked over the side of the boat and eaten by alligators! Shit yeah!

 

Patricio finally divorces Rosaura and urges Luis Mario to win her love back. Silvano and Rosaura end their engagement but remain friends. Gabrielita is a toddler by the time Luis Mario and Rosaura marry (again). There are hook-ups all around at the after party. Ivan and Jimena are back together again after she was married to Gabriel's brother. (Another victim of the Editing Gods.) Gossipy maid Panchita has a man. Aunt Claudia has found love. A healthy Carina has some guy. Silvano is there with Jaqueline. Happy endings all around.

 

The show ends with Rosaura and Luis Mario having sexy times out in the wild. Oh, those exhibitionists.

 

 

And that's how you cram 252 episodes into just 21, with awkward editing. I'm totally hooked, though. I've got to find me another telenovela like this one. A show with all the passion, hatred, big boobs and questionable fashion choices as Wild Cat had.

Wild Cat 19 - 20

Rosaura sees Crooked Nurse just a walkin' down the street singin' doo wah diddy diddy down diddy do. Distracted by Crooked Nurse, Rosaura nearly runs over a pedestrian. She slams on the brakes and knocks herself out. (Just go with it.)

 

Luis Mario and Maribella are breathing heavy and swallowing each other's faces when he accidentally calls her Rosaura. Understandably Maribella is less than pleased. (What she should have done was followed the wisdom of Susan Sarandon from Bull Durham and accept it was better to have Luis Mario here calling her Rosaura rather than him being with Rosaura and calling her Maribella.)

 

Desperate to get her missing child back, Rosaura gives in to Patricio who promises he'll get the baby back but not until Rosaura breaks up with both Luis Mario and Silvano (who has been wearing some really ugly clothes lately.)

 

Crooked Nurse takes a belt to her son Leo and beats him silly. Leo seeks protection from Luis Mario. In order not to be reported to the authorities, Crooked Nurse agrees to let Luis Mario take Leo and the baby for awhile until she calms down. Luis Mario then takes the boy and what he thinks is the boy's baby sister (but is in fact Luis Mario's own child) and dumps them off at Rosaura's place. Patricio struggles to think of a way to get rid of the kids before Rosaura realizes baby Angeliquita is actually her own.

 

Mercedez is looking for her other missing son and hears from the detective that the child may have been taken to Mexico. (I'm afraid just like I didn't get to hear the reason why Mercedez abandoned Luis Mario that I'll never find out why the other boy was taken away from her.)

 

Time is running short for Carina and they're not having much success finding a matching bone marrow donor for her.

 

Rosaura has invited Mercedez to the big house for dinner. While there Mercedez gets another call from the detective in Mexico. He's learned the boy was given over to a tribe of Indians to be raised. Patricio is like, "What a coincidence. I was raised by Indians in Mexico myself."

 

Faithful maid Caridad (Bruno's aunt) catches Maribella reading a magazine and confronts the tricky model. Caridad is all for telling Luis Mario the truth. Maribella begs for a week so she can come clean herself in a way that won't make Luis Mario hate her. Against her better judgment Caridad agrees. Later she calls Rosaura to tell her Maribella can see. In yet another scene lost to posterity, Rosaura already knew Maribella was faking because she had seen the model driving.

 

Luis Mario and Rosaura have yet another falling out and swear to never see each other again (again). Before parting ways (again) Rosaura insists to him that Maribella can see. Luis Mario asks Maribella about this and she swears up and down Rosaura is crazy.

 

Not wanting to be returned to his abusive mother, Leo takes baby Angeliquita and runs away. They get caught in a rainstorm and the baby falls ill. Strangers take the kids to the hospital where Angeliquita's life hangs by a thread.

 

Wanting to protect Maribella and get her married, Eduarda plots to kill Caridad before the maid can blab to Luis Mario. Eduarda figures she'll use the old tried and true method of running over Caridad. After all it worked with Rosaura's drunk dad all those episodes ago.

 

Caridad is rushed to the hospital where now she's the one whose life is hanging by a thread while baby Angeliquita is miraculously all better. Eduarda tries to kill off the unconscious Caridad before she wakes up but is interrupted by cousin Luisana. (I always want to write that as Lusitania.)

 

Rosaura was all set to divorce Patricio and ask Luis Mario for another chance again (again) when she learns he's still going to go through with the marriage to Maribella despite being told the model has been lying to him. So instead Rosaura plans to divorce Patricio and ask Silvano for another chance again.

 

Caridad comes to and asks for Luis Mario. She tells him about catching Maribella reading. He goes home and quietly enters the room to see Maribella doing her nails. Now that she's been caught red handed (literally) he orders her out of the house.

 

Patricio begs Rosaura not to divorce him. She will agree to remain married to him in name only if he agrees to have the house and the spa put in her name. He's desperate enough to do it.

 

Mercedez learns from the detective that Patricio is her long lost son. She doesn't look that thrilled about it.

 

Prepare yourself as Eva has gone totally over the edge. She shows up at Maribella's hotel room disguised as a biker chick. She thinks to ally herself with the model against Luis Mario and Rosaura. But unlike all the other crazy bitches on this show, Maribella isn't interested in any revenge. She just wants to get out of here and get on with her life. This doesn't set well with Eva and the two women fight with Eva successfully killing Maribella. She's in such a hurry to get out of there that she leaves her gun (with her fingerprints) behind so now the cops know she's the murderer and everyone is on the look-out.

 

Eva's next victim is supposed to be Rosaura but the chance comes up to kill Luis Mario and she takes it. She stabs him in the side with a wicked long knife. Before Eva can deliver the final blow Luis Mario has just enough strength to fight her off and so she flees. Luis Mario is rushed into surgery.

 

Since Patricio hasn't been paying the bills, Thug-For-Hire goes to the hospital and tells Luis Mario everything about the kidnapping, the birth in the attic, and how Angeliquita is really Rosaura's baby. You'd think Luis Mario would get right on the phone and call Rosaura with this earth-shattering news. You'd think wrong.

 

Luis Mario is telling his mother all about the wicked deeds Patricio has been behind in this series and how he'll do whatever it takes to put Patricio behind bars. Mercedez begs him not to as she reveals that Patricio is indeed Luis Mario's half brother. When Mercedez goes to Patricio to tell him who she is he informs her that he's suspected for awhile now that she was his birth mother but he wants nothing to do with her.

 

Maribella's older (much, much older) sister Jaqueline rides her steel horse into town and demands vengeance on her sister's killer.

 

Luis Mario starts to tell Rosaura about the baby but he takes too damn long and she walks out on him.

Wild Cat Episode 18

Eduarda offers to move in with Luis Mario and Maribella so she can take care of the blind model. Eduarda do something nice? I sense Evil.

 

Crooked Nurse (I have no idea what her name is) goes to the spa and tells Patricio how she has Rosaura's missing baby. Patricio is so shocked it looks like his skull is trying to pop out of his head. Crooked Nurse offers to keep the child hidden as long as Patricio pays out. He accepts.

 

Just like that Maribella's eyesight returns. Eduarda advises her to keep this a secret and keep acting blind.

 

Luis Mario and Rosaura make out like nobody's business before they say their final goodbyes (again).

 

There's an extremely brief shot of Ivan (who is walking again BTW) with some dude who is taking a bat to the windshield of a Mercedes Benz. I have no idea what is going on.

 

Carina is found unconscious on her bedroom floor. When she comes to she claims she fainted from the stress of Max's death. You mean Max who jumped out of a helicopter is dead?! What happened? Damn you, Editing Gods! You can't just leave something like this out. And how the heck is Ivan walking again?! I demand to know!

 

Luis Mario breaks into Rosaura's bedroom so they can make out again.

 

Silvano takes Rosaura to a romantic mall food court so he can pressure her to marry him.

 

Rosaura's annoying little sister just happens to be friends with Leonardo, the son of Crooked Nurse. One night he takes the baby and flees his abusive mother, finding shelter with his friend at her house.

 

Carina is diagnosed with leukemia.

 

Rosaura and Luis Mario just can't keep their tongues away from each other as Maribella spies on them through the window.

 

Rosaura also has a breakthrough when she remembers the crooked nurse who helped her give birth when she was imprisoned in the attic.

 

Eduarda comes up with the idea of Maribella giving her the money to pay back the loan on the estate so they can kick Rosaura out of the house.

 

Once again Luis Mario has mysteriously hurt his arm and is wearing a sling but that doesn't stop him from making out with Maribella after learning she helped to regain his house.

 

Patricio gets Rosaura to move back in with him (in her grandma's old mansion which he stole) by promising he'll retrieve her missing daughter.

 

As Rosaura is driving down the street she sees and recognizes Crooked Nurse walking down the sidewalk.

Wild Cat Episode 17

Patricio, emotional tears in his eyes, explains to Rosaura how he hopes if she gives him one night of exchanging bodily fluids she'll come to view their marriage in a different light. You'd better be damned good, Patricio. 

Whiplash back to Luis Mario telling Gabriel that the test results are in and Gabriel is the father of Eva's baby. Gabriel goes over to Eva's mansion to bitch slap her around (to be fair she bitch slapped him first) and to take his baby away. Eva is just fine with that as she didn't want the kid in the first place, she just needed him to trap Luis Mario into marriage. 

Panchita, that gossipy maid with a fruit basket on her head (I'm not lying), calls Luis Mario to tell him Rosaura has left for a 9 p.m. appointment at a hotel for a night of passion with - Silvano. Only Rosaura is really with Patricio. He's begging her to give herself freely while she's crying and telling him to just get this vile business over with. Suddenly Silvano bursts into the room and decks Patricio. Downstairs in the lobby the ever-late Luis Mario is trying to catch an elevator so he can also come to Rosaura's rescue. 

Patricio gives up and leaves the room. Weak with relief, Rosaura falls into Silvano's arms for comforting. This is what Luis Mario sees when he finally arrives on the scene. They don't even know he's there in the room with them. He leaves in disgust.

Patricio goes home to Camelia where they discuss making Rosaura "disappear" as Patricio would rather have her dead than for anyone else to have her. 

Luis Mario, on the rebound, thinks about marrying Maribella once his divorce with Eva is final. This would make, what - wife #4? 

Time skip ahead and now Rosaura is in the last months of her pregnancy. She's leaving the mansion to hit the mall and doesn't realize she's being followed by Thug-For-Hire (in a VW Cabriolet!) We don't get to see what happens next, only that Rosaura wakes up to find herself imprisoned in an attic by Patricio. And just to make it even more dramatic, she goes into labor.

Luis Mario decides to forgive his birth mother, Mercedez. (I still don't know why she abandoned him in the first place.) 

Rosaura gives birth to a baby girl. Luis Mario, who has just found out the baby his ex-wife was expecting is his, now learns that Rosaura has gone missing. The strain of giving birth seems to have short circuited Rosaura's mind as she refuses to believe the baby girl is hers. The maid who was originally helping Patricio and Camelia has now had a change of heart and helps Rosaura escape with the baby. A confused Rosaura, still not believing the baby is hers, dumps the child off on an old woman and then takes off. 

Sometime later Rosaura seems to have come to her senses and now she wants her damn baby back! The police arrive to take a hysterical Rosaura to the hospital. She has no memory of what she did with the baby or where she gave birth. Maribella doesn't believe it and thinks this is all a lie so Rosaura can win back Luis Mario.

As can only happen in a soap opera, the old lady who has the baby just happens to be the mother of the crooked nurse who helped Rosaura give birth in the attic. Recognizing the child, the crooked nurse plans to keep the baby and use her to extort money.

As Luis Mario is driving Maribella away from the hospital he tells her their marriage is off as he needs to stay by Rosaura's side. Distraught, Maribella physically attacks him while the vehicle is moving. As Luis Mario tries to regain control of the truck, Maribella (who wasn't wearing her seat belt) is thrown out of cab and up against the curb. At the hospital Maribella awakens to discover she's lost her eyesight. 

Hmm, or has she? Is this an act to get Luis Mario to stay with her? Stay tuned.

Eva Luna Episode 1

It's all about the Venezuelan telenovelas, baby. Although this one is also not filmed anywhere near Venezuela. Is there a reason Venezuelan dramas aren't made in Venezuela? Anyway, you can watch Eva Luna over on Viki.

 

 

The story takes place in California (although the end credits give much thanks to Miami). Our two main protagonists live lives polar opposite of each other. Poor yet hardworking Eva Gonzalez works alongside her beloved father in the apple orchards. Handsome and successful Daniel Villanueva drives sleek sports cars and works in an air-conditioned office at Arismendi Advertising. (Any relation to the Arismendi clan in Wild Cat?)

 

Eva loves her father but he drops many hints that there is a big secret in the past. His wife abandoned him and their two daughters. Recently he received word that his errant wife might be living in Los Angeles and so he packs up Eva and sister Alicia to head off to the big city. (He hasn't told the girls yet just why he wants to suddenly move to L.A.)

 

Now lets see what Daniel's world is like. It's pretty good from what I can see. At the advertising agency he works alongside his best friend, Leonardo Arismendi. Leonardo is tall, dark, and mmm-mm. His beautiful sister Victoria has been dating Daniel for five long years. She's hoping that he'll finally be over his dead wife and get around to asking her to be Mrs. Villanueva 2.

 

The president of the company is Marcela Arismendi. You can tell she's evil because she's lathered in makeup, fires a single mother, and wears one black glove. I'm not sure if something has happened to her hand or if she's simply a big fan of Michael Jackson.

 

The owner of the company, Julio Arismendi, is ill and stuck at home. He drives around in a Hoveround, wears silk pajamas from the Hugh Hefner collection, and hangs around with a mean dog. Speaking of dogs, Julio wants to divorce Marcela but she keeps slipping him drugs in order to keep control of him.

 

The Gonzalez clan is now in Los Angeles and Eva is looking for a job. A neighbor helps her get one as a masseuse (something Eva has never done before) and that's how she meets Daniel for the first time. Eva does a terrible job on him. He complains to the owner and Eva is fired.

 

Dad thinks he's found his wife's location. He asks Eva to accompany him, saying only he'll explain everything when they get there. They're walking along the road when Dad is run over and killed by a red sports car. The driver is tall, dark and Leonardo who quickly leaves the scene of the accident.

 

When next we see Daniel he and Leonardo are attending a car show. One of the models is Eva who recognizes Daniel as the man who got her fired. They fight in between giving each other long and deep stares. Once again Eva gets fired and blames Daniel.

 

Leonardo, partly feeling guilty and partly wanting to work his way into her pants, offers Eva a job as a personal assistant to his ailing father. Marcela is at first not at all happy that this strange girl has been hired without her permission. She changes her attitude once she comes up with the plan to frame Eva for Julio's death.

 

As Eva is leaving the big house for the evening the head housekeeper (who doesn't like Eva at all) let's Julio's mean dog loose to chase the new girl. Eva runs like the dickens, scrambles over the high fence, and stumbles into the road, nearly getting hit by Daniel's car.

Wild Cat Episode 16

I am such an addict. I need an intervention.

Camelia runs straight to Eva to tell her frenemy the "good news" about Rosaura being pregnant with Luis Mario's baby. Eva threatens the wild cat with telling Patricio about what his wife has been up to. 

Eduarda tells Luis Mario about him being abandoned in a box on the beach by his birth mother and he's not really a high-falutin Arismendi. Eduarda quickly forgets all those decades she thought of him as a brother and wants Luis Mario to vacate the premises immediately. 

Aunt Claudia advises Rosaura to disappear until she has her baby before Patricio finds out and has one of his patented freak outs. Rosaura doesn't want to tell Luis Mario about the baby. Luis Mario goes to confront his birth mother, Mercedez. She says she has an explanation but argh, I don't get to hear it. Camelia tells Patricio about Rosaura's pregnancy. He has one of his patented freak outs. Luis Mario packs his bags and goes to crash at Gabriel's place. (Luis Mario also makes some reference to his arm being hurt although I don't know how it happened.)

When Rosaura hears about Luis Mario being kicked off the estate, she plans to do her own eviction of Eduarda. Remember, the estate is technically Rosaura's until the family pays the loan back. She throws Eduarda out and moves herself and her annoying little sister in so they can get away from Patricio. However Patricio finds his runaway bride and tries to force her to come back with him. She's rescued by a gun-wielding (and buff) field hand who orders Patricio to unhand that maiden! 

Rosaura hires Bruno the Lifeguard to be the new manager of the Arismendi ranch. Luis Mario is involved in an automobile accident so the show can introduce a new character, Maribella Tovar, a professional model. It's not long before they're making out. Patricio gets Thug-For-Hire to capture Rosaura and tie her to a tree. 

You're not going to believe this. Well, yeah, it's a telenovela so you probably will. As Rosaura is left out in the wilds tied to a tree, a parachutist drops down from the sky and frees her. (So far she's had a man delivered to her by a plane crash, jumping out of a helicopter, and now parachuting down. I can only surmise that a UFO will beam down her next macho love interest.) 

Gabriel finally confesses to Luis Mario that he is probably the real father of Eva's son. Luis Mario insists on a paternity test but Eva screeches that she won't have it and that Gabriel is lying. Valeria, some girl I've never seen on the show before, suggests to Eva to pretend to have a nervous breakdown to distract Luis Mario from going after the test.

Rosaura's savior, Silvano, is the owner of a modeling agency. Ah, I can see where this is going. He invites Rosaura to a party he's throwing for one of his models. Maribella is Silvano's ex-wife as well as his model but they seem to have had an amicable split. Luis Mario and Maribella make out at the party while Rosaura once again swears vengeance against him. 

Eva is out on a balcony with the baby, acting all crazy like she's about to toss the little tyke over the side. (I'm actually quite nervous about this scene as I don't know if Venezuelan TV will go that dark or not.) Thankfully the baby is retrieved from her and a psychiatrist is called in. Luis Mario is smart enough to wonder if this whole crazy act is just that - an act. 

Patricio offers to give back the spa and the mansion to Grandma Cruz if Rosaura will give herself to him.

Wildcat 11 - 15

Rosaura finally tells Grandma Cruz the truth about who she is so Grandma won't sell the spa to Patricio. Luis Mario wakes up naked in Eva's bed with her claiming they had wild and unprotected sex. She's hoping Gabriel's little swimmers were powerful enough to get her knocked up so she can claim the child is Luis Mario's. Diego, the fake psychiatrist who helped Camelia fake her amnesia, has come to town and is demanding money to keep his mouth shut. He and Camelia fight over a gun with Camelia being shot and her life now hanging by a thread. Luis Mario's youngest sister, Jimena, has run off with Rosaura's ne'er-do-well brother Ivan. Luis Mario is able to track the couple down and force his underage sister back to the house where she discloses she's pregnant. Ivan needs money to get Jimena back so he's easily talked into pulling a robbery on the spa. Eva's father, Rafael, joins the spa and keeps flirting with Rosaura. Seeing how this is driving Eva crazy, Rosaura encourages the flirtation.

(I'm going to digress here for a moment because this reminds me of a real life telenovela moment from the past. A friend of mine who was married at the time was having an affair with this loser. As soon as she got a divorce from her husband, the loser started two-timing on her by seeing the mother of one of his children. (He had numerous children by numerous women and paid for none of them. Thus a loser.) To get back at the other woman, my friend then started to date the woman's aged father. Things went sour fast until one night the old man tossed my friend out of his house with only the clothes on her and her kid's back. So let this be a lesson to you, kids. If your life starts to resemble a telenovela, you need to back the hell up and get some kind of control over yourself. Now, back to the soap opera.)

At Rafael's birthday party, Eva announces to the guests that she and Luis Mario are to be married and are expecting a child. Through the miracle of modern medicine and editing, Camelia, who was barely alive last episode, is now healthy and living with Gabriel. She and Rosaura become allies. That thug-for-hire that's always doing the dirty work in this show has now been hired by Camelia to destroy the crops so that the Arismendi's are once again facing a financial crisis. Rosaura offers to loan Luis Mario money but insists the estate be put up for collateral. The planned robbery of the spa goes terribly wrong. As he's fleeing the scene of the crime, brother Ivan is run over (and I do mean over) by a Land Rover and he may never walk again. Sister Carina is being harassed by Julio, the inept hitman Patricio hired earlier. Julio corners Carina and attempts to rape her. She does put up quite a fight, I will give her that, and ends up killing the guy. Rosaura takes the blame to protect her sister and goes to jail for murder.

Don't get too stressed out by this storyline as almost immediately afterwards, at least by this editing, Carina can't take the guilt and confesses she is the real killer. Rosaura quickly puts her prison time behind her and gets back to forcing Luis Mario to accept a loan from her. Surprisingly it is Patricio who tries to stop his brother-in-law from signing the papers, pointing out that it was more than likely Rosaura who was behind the destroyed crops. They need the money, though, so Luis Mario reluctantly signs the legal papers.

Luis Mario's divorce from Camelia is finalized so he faces getting married to Eva. They're having a small ceremony at the estate when Rosaura bursts in. She interrupts the proceedings by telling Luis Mario that is was Eva who caused the accident that made her miscarry their child. Still believing the baby Eva is carrying is his, Luis Mario chooses to go through with the wedding.

Somewhere along the way (must be on the cutting room floor) Patricio and Camelia have started hanging out again. What happened to his revenge on her? Was that also edited out?

Time skip six months. The due date of the loan. Luis Mario is unable to pay her back so Rosaura is now the owner of the Arismendi estate. In triumph Rosaura goes to the big house and offers Eduarda a deal: she'll give it all back if Eduarda gets down on her knees and begs. Eduarda gives a half-hearted attempt at begging. Rosaura simply laughs and refuses to honor the bargain. She's keeping the house and they all have to go. For the final icing on the cake, Rosaura delights in telling Eduarda how her husband has a lover. Eduarda admits she's known for six months that Patricio has been cheating on her. Ah, but Rosaura can put a name to the other woman: Camelia.

Rosaura has a private meeting with Luis Mario where she backtracks on everything. She's not going to throw the Arismendi's out on the street and she's going to give him two years to pay back the loan. So all this was just to get Eduarda down on her knees?

Eduarda demands a divorce from her cheating husband. Patricio is like, "Fine, I was thinking of divorcing you anyway (slap slap)." But when Luis Mario returns with the good news that the estate is still in the family, Patricio thinks perhaps he was a little too premature with those slaps.

We whiz through Carina's trial (thank goodness) where she's found innocent. She's not out of trouble for long, though. Patricio (newly divorced) plants some evidence in Carina's purse and frames her for stealing from his office. He'll drop the charges against Carina only if Rosaura agrees to marry him.

(In another sacrifice to the Editing God, somewhere along the way Jimena has lost Ivan's baby.)

Rosaura reluctantly flies to Las Vegas so she and Patricio can have a quickie wedding. (If the producers wanted to make this look a little more authentic they should have had someone dress up as Elvis to marry the couple.) Patricio moves himself and his lover, Camelia, into Grandma Cruz's mansion. 

A new character is introduced, Mercedez Salazar. She's an older woman who will be the tutor to Rosaura's annoying little sister. Mercedez's has a young niece, Adrianita, who can barely keep her shirt on. Mercedez infodumps to her niece about how her first born son was taken away from her and her second son she abandoned on the beach. You sound like a peach, Mercedez.

Patricio forces Grandma Cruz to sign over the spa and the mansion to him. Mercedez continues her hunt for the son she abandoned. She claims she only wants to know if he's alive and well. Cue dramatic music: Mercedez is told her son is now called Luis Mario Arismendi. Mercedez has no plans to spring the truth on Luis Mario but her sister Marcela has other ideas.

While Rosaura and Luis Mario are off making sweet love in the outdoors (look out for that cactus!), Eva is going into labor. Somewhere between trying to have her killed and forcing her to marry him, Patricio is shocked to realize he's fallen in love with Rosaura and swears she will be his. Rosaura learns that romp in the hay with Luis Mario has gotten her pregnant. Camelia overhears this news and runs straight to Eva.

Wild Cat 6 - 10

Rosaura/Gabriela's Aunt Claudia, who doesn't know she is her aunt, takes it upon herself to teach the new maid how to be a lady. Sort of a Pygmalion thing. Eva knows Camelia is faking her amnesia but decides to keep the secret for now until the time is right. Luis Mario confesses to Camelia how he has suddenly discovered he's in love with Rosaura. Camelia and Eva join forces to destroy the "Wild Cat." Not that anyone knows where the Wild Cat is. Patricio is back in town and has sworn to avenge himself on Camelia. He resumes a secret love affair with Eduarda. While working out in the fields, Luis Mario is stung by a scorpion. He's rushed to the hospital where he's at death's door.

At the same time Rosaura's annoying little sister collapses with an appendicitis and is rushed to the same hospital. Rosaura has a tense run-in with Eduarda and Eva in the hallway which is how she learns her (ex?) husband is ill. (If Eva is so rich, why does she continually dress in cheap fashions from the Eighties?) Patricio returns to his job at the spa owned by Grandma Cruz and plots to bilk the old woman out of her fortune. Rosaura makes a visit to her perhaps/perhaps not husband. Luis Mario blubbers like a baby and confesses his love for Rosaura and looks like there's going to be a reconciliation. This calls for the three villainesses to come barging in and force the lovers apart.

The three witches hire a thug to grope Rosaura while another man takes pictures so it will look like our heroine was a willing participant. The always gullible Luis Mario now thinks the worst of Rosaura after seeing the photos and not hearing her side of the story. Rosaura learns that it was Eva and Eduarda who were behind her horse-riding accident that led to her miscarriage. Claudia finds evidence that Gabriela is her real niece while the other Rosaura is a fake. She decides to keep her discovery to herself for the moment.

Luis Mario takes Camelia out for the evening to an art gallery. Claudia also attends with her secret niece, Rosaura, who has been given a make-over (albeit she's wearing a hideous dress). The other women fume with jealousy as Luis Mario drools over his (former? never was? spare?) wife. Rosaura rejects him.

Luis Mario asks Camelia for a divorce. Patricio calls Camelia to let her know he's back in town and out for vengeance. Rosaura learns Grandma Cruz really is her Grandma Cruz and that her evil step sister has been assuming her identity. Eva makes an anonymous call to Luis Mario to tell him Camelia has been faking her amnesia. Oh no, Grandma Cruz is down! While the family matriarch stays home to recover, Claudia sends Rosaura to work at the spa and sniff out what Patricio is up to.

You're not going to believe this. Well no, this is a telenovela so you probably will believe this. Rosaura is strolling along the poolside at the spa when her attention is caught by a low-hovering helicopter. It's a thwarted kidnapping attempt. A young man beats off his kidnappers, leaps out of the helicopter into the pool below, and surfaces to immediately start flirting with Rosaura. This is Max, cousin of the evil Eva and now competition for Luis Mario.

Evil step mother and her daughter, Fake Rosaura, have finally returned from Disneyworld. Real Rosaura delights in confronting the two imposters. She throws evil step mother out but decides to allow step sister Carina to stay (which you know she's gonna regret).

Now that the Arismendi estate is making a comeback, Patricio pops the question to Eduarda. Camelia can say nothing without exposing her own bigamy. Luis Mario decides to fight fire with fire and starts hanging out at the spa pool with Eva and her gravity-defying breasts. Rosaura, trying to deny she's jealous, slaps Luis Mario. He grabs her in that manly man way and they succumb to their fiery Latin passions right there in front of Eva and everybody.

Luis Mario hears about Rosaura's time in the pen and tries to find out the truth behind story. Eduarda and her new husband Patricio plan to work together to destroy Rosaura. Somehow slutty step sister Carina is working at the spa now and also knows Max (must have been edited out) as they're stepping out together. Patricio puts a hit out on Rosaura but the hitman is an amateur.

Rejected by Rosaura, Luis Mario goes out and gets drunk. He makes his way to Eva's house where she's all set to take advantage of him only to have Luis Mario pass out stone cold. Eva runs right out to seduce Gabriel in hopes of getting pregnant and passing the child off as Luis Mario's.

Wild Cat 2 - 5

I have a guilty pleasure confession to make: I'm still watching this train wreck. I don't know why. It's like junk food. I know it's bad for me and it doesn't really taste very good, yet I keep on snacking. At least I've finally learned that the show is supposedly set in Florida, USA. Everyone just happens to have Venezuelan accents.

 

Against his evil sister Eduarda's wishes, Luis Mario (who is kind of an ass, let's be honest) marries poor girl Rosaura. He doesn't love his new wife as he's still longing for his dead wife, Camelia. Only she's not dead and has been running around with her new husband, Patricio. Therefore Luis Mario and Camelia are both bigamists. Camelia and her new hubby have lost almost all their money and things are going sour between them.

 

When Eva lays a big wet one on Luis Mario (which he does nothing to fight back against), Rosaura loses control and launches into a hair-pulling cat fight. Eduarda tries to convince Luis Mario that Rosaura is lovers with her friend Bruno. Bruno is in love with Rosaura but she sees him as only a friend. Rosarua's evil step mother has her evil daughter pose as Mrs. Cruz's long lost granddaughter. The gullible (and rich) old woman's other daughter, Claudia, remains suspicious of the evil interlopers. This doesn't stop evil step mother and her evil daughter from living it up at Disneyworld.

 

Eduarda and Eva plot to drive the newlyweds apart. At a swanky birthday party for Eduarda (where all the swanky women dress like cheap hookers) another female friend of Luis Mario's lays a big wet one on him. He again does nothing to fight back against it. Rosaura loses control again and launches into a hair-pulling, cake-throwing, pool-dunking cat fight with the woman. Luis Mario threatens to divorce Rosaura but she cries and cries and cries for another chance.

 

Luis Mario is unable to get a loan to save the family estate so he returns to New York to work at... say, what does he do? He's got an office and he wears a suit but I have no idea what he's doing. Anyway, he and Gabriel go back up to New York to earn money. Rosaura believes she is pregnant. Eduarda arranges it for Rosaura to be accused of theft. While our heroine is in jail, Eva and Eduarda run over Rosaura's drunk dad and kill him. Bruno pays to get Rosaura out of jail. After her stint in the cooler and the death of her dad, Rosaura swears revenge against the Arismendi family.

 

Eduarda and Eva successfully cause Rosaura to fall from a horse and have a miscarriage. To put icing on the cake, Eduarda also has her sister-in-law's home trashed. Changing her name to Gabriela, her dead mother's name, Rosaura takes what is left of her family and flees. With the help of a priest, she's able to get a job as a maid at the home of the woman she doesn't know is her grandmother. 

 

Not wanting to be a pauper, Camelia plots to leave Patricio and reunite with Luis Mario. She reappears in her first husband's life acting like she's had amnesia for the last couple of years. Luis Mario totally falls for this. One person who doesn't fall for this act is Eva.

Wild Cat Episode 1

I continue my surfing around the South American boob tube by trying a taste of Venezuelan drama. Have you ever heard of the Venezuelan poodle moth? I hadn't until just now. Gosh, the things you find on the internet. You can find Wild Cat over at Viki.

 

 

We begin with rich and beautiful couple Luis Mario and Camelia Arismendi cruising through New York City (a very tropical looking NYC) in their expensive sports car to the docks where they take their expensive yacht out for a cruise. Ah, to be rich and beautiful. These two are so in love. And so greased up! Have they been oil wrestling?

 

They go below decks to work on having a baby together when a screen-projected storm suddenly strikes. The weather started getting rough, the tiny ship was tossed. That's not all that's tossed as Camelia slips out of Luis Mario's grip (probably because of all the body grease) and is washed away.

 

Two years later...

 

Luis Mario is still looking for his missing wife. He's advised to accept that his busty wife has drowned and to stop looking for her. Meanwhile back in Florida Eduarda laments to Cousin Luisana that the Arismendi family is facing ruin. Eduarda figures the only way to save the family estate is for her brother, Luis Mario, to marry Eva Granados. It's a very nice estate - I would want to save it.

 

We get a brief introduction to our heroine, Rosaura Rios, who operates a food truck and serves the field workers on the Arismendi lands.

 

Eduarda goes to visit her friend, the lovely and scantily clad Eva. Eduarda encourages her friend to go after Luis Mario. Eva knows the Arimendi's are in financial trouble and that her money is the only reason Eduarda has brought up the subject of marriage. Still, she's been in love with Luis Mario for years and is more than willing to marry him.

 

Back in New York, Luis Mario has been so busy searching for his missing wife that he's just now learning about the dire straits his family estate is in. He's urged to return home and make repairs to the family fortune.

 

Hard working Rosaura returns home to find her old father has been getting his drink on. She gets into a screeching cat fight with her step mother and siblings. With no help from Drunk Dad, Rosaura is tossed out of the house and ordered never to return.

 

Luis Mario and his friend Gabriel are flying a small aircraft back to Florida. Suddenly the plane develops engine problems. They're forced to do a hard landing in a field as witnessed by Rosaura. As Gabriel goes in search of help, Rosaura stays to take care of the unconscious Luis Mario. Our hero awakens in Rosaura's arms and promptly declares she's the most beautiful woman he's ever seen. So I take it he's finally over Camelia.

 

Back at Rosaura's former home, her evil step mother is looking for a picture of Rosaura's dead mother. Evil step mother has an evil plan to have her evil daughter pretend to be Rosaura.

 

Luis Mario thanks Rosaura for all her help and kisses her goodbye as he goes in search of Gabriel. Rosaura is instantly smitten. Gabriel and the clan spot Luis Mario walking along the road and pick him up.

 

Back at the very nice house, sister Eduarda lays out the plan to her brother about marrying Eva. Luis Mario doesn't want to marry for anything but love, not that he's over Camelia yet. He plans to save the family by taking off his shirt and working in the fields alongside the other peons.

 

Eduarda still thinks her plan is the best and invites Eva over for dinner.

 

After a hard day of sweating in the fields, Luis Mario goes to a nearby lake to wash up. Finally some male nudity. He's swimming around in the lake when some chick named Panchita stops to enjoy the eye candy and to steal his clothes.

 

Luis Mario is standing on the shore wondering where his clothes went when Rosaura walks up to deliver his lunch. He has to hide behind some bushes while she goes in search of his togs, which she does find where Panchita left them.

 

Eva is angry that Luis Mario is late for dinner when she really should be angry about that butt-ugly outfit she's wearing. Eva leaves in a huff. Panchita, who is a maid at the estate, claims this is all supernatural interference from the dead Camelia.

 

Evil step mother makes a call to an elderly woman named Cruz Olivares. Evil step mother announces she can tell the old woman where her granddaughter Rosaura is. Grandma Cruz is so shocked she drops her cane to clutch her pearls.

 

The next day out in the field Rosaura is trying to run her food truck when she's harassed by a field hand who declares what she needs is a real man for her fiery temper. Luis Mario (still unable to figure out how to button up his shirt) comes to her rescue. Luis Mario thinks to himself he could marry Rosaura, not so much because he loves her as it would really stick it to his ornery sister Eduarda.