An Open Letter To Self Published Authors

Dear Self Published Authors,

 

   I'm writing this in hopes of sparing other, innocent people the pain and suffering I'm currently having to put up with.

 

   Look, you have every right to crow about your achievement. You had the gumption (and the money) to pursue your dream, finish your project, and put it out there for the public to poke a stick at it. By all means give yourself a pat on the back.

 

   But for the love of God, don't let "The Book" be all you can talk about morning, noon, and night. Don't be constantly badgering your friends/neighbors/co-workers/relatives with, "Have you bought the book yet?", "Have you read the book yet?", or "Have you posted a fake five star review of the book yet?" Don't create fake Facebook profiles so you can post ludicrous conversations with yourself about how great "The Book" is. Don't launch an all-out war over the internet against a complete stranger who didn't find "The Book" the greatest thing since sliced bread.

 

And finally, don't quit your day job.

 

 

 

                                                                      Yours truly,

                                                                          Someone who is sick to

                                                                             death of "The Book"