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The show begins with two Japanese girls. One looks like she's been roughed up. The other is blonde (blonde, I say!) and wearing that sailor outfit that Japan likes to inflict upon its female schoolgirls. Roughed Up Girl whines about life being too hard and she wished she was dead. Blonde Japanese Girl points out there are other people in this world suffering much worse. If Roughed Up Girl wants to kill herself then go right ahead. Roughed Up Girl says fine, grabs a knife and is about to slit her wrist when...
Blonde Japanese Girl wakes up in a sweat. Ah, so it was only a dream. Or was it a dream of a real past event? Blonde Japanese Girl looks over and sees on her computer that's she's just gotten an email from White Witch Academy.
But enough about that. Some dude is being thrown violently around. Holy Crap, he's being knocked around by an angel! Wings and heavenly chorus and all that.
After the opening credits we re-join Blonde Japanese Girl who is just arriving at White Witch Academy. Beside her, on the ground, is another new arrival - Clumsy Girl. They're greeted at the gate by Risa Kikula, Mikumo Annz, and Nighera (who is wearing a surgical mask). They give the newbies the tour and a rundown of the history of White Witch Academy. Basically a witch escaped from Europe and found refuge in Japan. She established the school as a haven for Vestal Virgins and such.
Blonde Japanese Girl finds a solitary white feather on the floor. Kikula explains it came from a witch's wing. If the newbies study hard, they can learn how to transform and have their own wings. So none of that bell-ringing crap from It's A Wonderful Life.
Kikula takes them to the Nurse's Office where the rest of the show's cast are in varying stages of undress. Too many Japanese names are being thrown at me and I'm not getting a one. The girls continue to undress as they get ready to go to the chapel for an initiation ceremony. There is even more stripping as each girl must now get into a bathtub of milk. Lots of cooing, soft focus, and caressing of body parts. (I feel dirty watching this.)
Finally they're all back to wearing clothes as Kikula has each of them swear they are virgins and will dedicate themselves to witchcraft. She bestows a necklace on each of them. Now it's time for their first lesson. Somewhere in a parking garage one lone schoolgirl is being bullied by three other schoolgirls. As our pack of newbies watch, Kikula and her sidekicks display their CGI wings. I guess only the newbies can see the wings as the Mean Girls don't seem fazed at all. The Mean Girls go in for the attack. Surgical Mask Girl simply kicks their ass with old fashioned, non-magical kung fu. Mikumo uses her power to freeze time. Then Kikula does something weird. She pulls up her skirt to show her thigh. A bloody mark instantly appears on her thigh, only to then turn into a flintlock pistol. Kikula takes the pistol and shoots the head Mean Girl.
WTF am I watching?!?
Episode Two starts off with more scintillation as Blonde Japanese Girl and Clumsy Girl are dressed in nightclothes that barely leave anything to the imagination. Clumsy Girl wants to be friends with her roommate but Blonde Japanese Girl keeps her distance. I'm kind of confused as to whether Clumsy Girl is Suicide Girl from the first scene or if she just reminds Blonde Japanese Girl of Suicide Girl. Sorry, but I can't really tell most of these actresses apart.
The rest of the cast barges into their dorm room to have tea and sweets. Laughing and bonding ensue.
But enough about that. It's back to the alleyway where it turns out I was wrong. That wasn't a dude being knocked around by an angel, it was a woman.
But enough about that. It's back to showing off more skin as our newbies are all dressed in swimsuits with their butt cheeks hanging out. Is this soft core porn? Cat Ear Girl softly explains she doesn't know how to swim. This gets her a shove from Surgical Mask Girl into the pool. The girls start swimming as the cameraman starts focusing on their wet breasts and crotch shots.
What's this got to do with witchcraft? Nothing.
What's this got to do with beginner's porn? Everything.
After being worked to exhaustion, the class is finally allowed to get dressed and go to their classroom where the senior girls lead them in prayers. Suddenly one of the girls whose name I didn't get stands up and jerks around. In the air before her materializes a bat'leth. The other girls are quite happy that she was able to manufacture a Klingon weapon out of thin air. Therefore I shall call you Klingon Girl.
Another girl starts to exhibit her powers as well but she has no control over them. A wave of yellow light starts heading towards the class. Mikumo does her time-freezing thing to be able to get Blonde Japanese Girl out of the way before the yellow light hits. As the girls are heading back to their dorm, Blonde Japanese Girl has a close encounter with an albino.
Episode Three has the three senior girls welcoming back a forth winged avenger. They help to dress her in the school uniform, the camera paying extra attention to the newcomer's legs. The newcomer wears a hood over most of her face so I shall call her Hoodie.
Mikumo gives Hoodie a cup of milk. At least I hope that's milk. Hoodie claims the drink is too hot and she uses her powers to make the cup explode. The white substance splatters all over Mikumo's face. Yes, that's what is called a "money shot." I feel so dirty. So, so dirty.
Mikumo, still with white splatter on her face, tells Hoodie about one of the new girls being a potential empath. The newbies are shown up close and in slow motion as they eat frozen semen yogurt. Annoying Girl tells the others about how there is supposedly a ghost wandering around campus. Blonde Japanese Girl thinks back to her encounter the other night.
The senior girls come in at that moment to explain the albino isn't a ghost but a student who went mad when she failed to become a witch. The Academy tries to take care of her here on campus.
The newbies are taken off for physical education. Yep, more crotch shots, bulging breasts, and girls moaning and grunting. This time it's Annoying Girl and Cat Ear Girl who have their magic breakthrough, making a staff and sword appear. Nerdy Girl is jealous. Later they're all cleaning up the classroom so the show can have all these girls on their knees as they slowly ring out dripping wet rags. I hope my bottle of Brain Bleach is within reach.
Nerdy Girl tries to get Klingon Girl to do her part in cleaning. Klingon Girl makes her bat'leth reappear and throws it at Nerdy Girl. As Blonde Japanese Girl is picking the furniture back up she discovers a hidden message written on the bottom of one of the desks. Escape.
Nerdy Girl goes to the seniors to report the slackers as well as to express her worries about not having any powers yet. The seniors assure Nerdy Girl she does have powers and she should give it a try. Nerdy Girl gasps in pain and surprise as red tentacles sprout out of her back. Because, you know, Japan loves tentacle porn.
Surgical Mask Girl bitch slaps the slackers. Blonde Japanese Girl suspects Nerdy Girl of being the snitch. That night as she's looking out her bedroom window, Blonde Japanese Girl sees Klingon Girl starting to run away from the school. She goes downstairs to stop the other student. As they're talking in front of the gate they're caught by the senior girls. Klingon Girl thinks Blonde Japanese Girl ratted her out. She makes her bat'leth appear again only to have Kikula shoot it out of her hands.
The seniors order Blonde Japanese Girl back to her room. They drag Klingon Girl off so Surgical Mask Girl can kick the ever-lovin' shit out of her. Then Kikula pulls her gun out of her thigh again and shoots Klingon Girl in the chest. Klingon Girl turns black then explodes into ash as her necklace (the only thing that remains of her) falls to the ground.
*Yawn* That's enough Japanese porn for the night.
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